Our airlines are run by morons

Hammock Parties · 03-12-2008, 09:05 PM

Steve Jobs Made Me Miss My Flight

http://www.michaelnygard.com/blog/20...ss_my_fli.html

On waking, I reach for my blackberry. It tells me what city I'm in; the hotel rooms offer no clues. Every Courtyard by Marriott is interchangeable. Many doors into the same house. From the size of my suitcase, I can recall the length of my stay: one or two days, the small bag. Three or four, the large. Two bags means more than a week.
CNBC, shower, coffee, email. Quick breakfast, $10.95 (except in California, where it's $12.95. Another clue.)

Getting there is the worst part. Flying is an endless accumulation of indignities. Airlines learned their human factors from hospitals. I've adapted my routine to minimize hassles.

Park in the same level of the same ramp. Check in at the less-used kiosks in the transit level. Check my bag so I don't have to **** around with the overhead bins. I'd rather dawdle at the carousel than drag the thing around the terminal anyway.

Always the frequent flyer line at the security checkpoint. Sometimes there's an airline person at the entrance of that line to check my boarding pass, sometimes not. An irritation. I'd rather it was always, or never. Sometimes means I don't know if I need my boarding pass out or not.
Same words to the TSA agent. Standard responses. "Doing fine," whether I am or not. Same belt. It's gone through the metal detector every time. I don't need to take it off.

Only... today, something is different. Instead of my bags trundling through the x-ray machine, she stops the belt. Calls over another agent, a palaver. Another agent flocks to the screen. A gabble, a conference, some consternation.

They pull my laptop, my new laptop making its first trip with me, out of the flow of bags. One takes me aside to a partitioned cubicle. Another of the endless supply of TSA agents takes the rest of my bags to a different cubicle. No yellow brick road here, just a pair of yellow painted feet on the floor, and my flight is boarding. I am made to understand that I should stand and wait. My laptop is on the table in front of me, just beyond reach, like I am waiting to collect my personal effects after being paroled.

I'm standing, watching my laptop on the table, listening to security clucking just behind me. "There's no drive," one says. "And no ports on the back. It has a couple of lines where the drive should be," she continues.

A younger agent, joins the crew. I must now be occupying ten, perhaps twenty, percent of the security force. At this checkpoint anyway. There are three score more at the other five checkpoints. The new arrival looks at the printouts from x-ray, looks at my laptop sitting small and alone. He tells the others that it is a real laptop, not a "device". That it has a solid-state drive instead of a hard disc. They don't know what he means. He tries again, "Instead of a spinning disc, it keeps everything in flash memory." Still no good. "Like the memory card in a digital camera." He points to the x-ray, "Here. That's what it uses instead of a hard drive."

The senior agent hasn't been trained for technological change. New products on the market? They haven't been TSA approved. Probably shouldn't be permitted. He requires me to open the "device" and run a program. I do, and despite his inclination, the lead agent decides to release me and my troublesome laptop. My flight is long gone now, so I head for the service center to get rebooked.

Behind me, I hear the younger agent, perhaps not realizing that even the TSA must obey TSA rules, repeating himself.
"It's a MacBook Air."

Fish · 03-12-2008, 09:15 PM

Macbook Air is a pain in the ass to support.....

dtebbe · 03-12-2008, 09:22 PM

Any self important turd burgler hippie that owns a MacBook air deserves to miss their flight.

DT

**banyon** · 03-12-2008, 09:22 PM

This does seem like quite a hassle. You were in a big hurry to get back into your parents' basement, then?

Hammock Parties · 03-12-2008, 09:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by banyon

This does seem like quite a hassle. You were in a big hurry to get back into your parents' basement, then?

You accuse me of buying Mac products?

teedubya · 03-12-2008, 09:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dtebbe

Any self important turd burgler hippie that owns a MacBook air deserves to miss their flight.

DT

Well I own 2 of them, what does that make me?

**penguinz** · 03-12-2008, 09:29 PM

I like and use macs everyday. That will not stop me from saying this guy deserves it for wasting 3k on that piece of crap laptop.

**Skip Towne** · 03-12-2008, 09:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ari Chi3fs

Well I own 2 of them, what does that make me?

A double self important turd burglar?

teedubya · 03-12-2008, 09:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skip Towne

A double self important turd burglar?

I don't really own any, but... I am a turd burglar.... I will wait until you poop and then steal it.

I have been waiting for this one chick to get done pooping for two years, but she was protecting it from me... damn her!!11

**penguinz** · 03-12-2008, 09:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ari Chi3fs

Well I own 2 of them, what does that make me?

Insane for spending too much money on a non-upgradable machine that is underpowered for the price.

Hammock Parties · 03-12-2008, 09:37 PM

He probably bought them on credit. I bet Ari is swimming in debt up to his eyeballs.

**Bowser** · 03-12-2008, 09:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GOATSE

He probably bought them on credit. I bet Ari is swimming in debt up to his eyeballs.

Heh. What commercial is that from?

Eleazar · 03-12-2008, 10:31 PM

that's funny. i got looked at pretty hard one time for just forgetting to take the laptop out of the bag before i ran it through the machine.

stlchiefs · 03-12-2008, 10:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bowser

Heh. What commercial is that from?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hn5EP9StlVA

**007** · 03-12-2008, 10:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stlchiefs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hn5EP9StlVA

I got a real kick out of that commercial when it first aired. It is so damn true. Glad I don't fall into that category.

03-12-2008, 09:05 PM
Hammock Parties I'll be back. Join Date: Nov 2002 Casino cash: $4610478	Our airlines are run by morons Steve Jobs Made Me Miss My Flight http://www.michaelnygard.com/blog/20...ss_my_fli.html On waking, I reach for my blackberry. It tells me what city I'm in; the hotel rooms offer no clues. Every Courtyard by Marriott is interchangeable. Many doors into the same house. From the size of my suitcase, I can recall the length of my stay: one or two days, the small bag. Three or four, the large. Two bags means more than a week. CNBC, shower, coffee, email. Quick breakfast, $10.95 (except in California, where it's $12.95. Another clue.) Getting there is the worst part. Flying is an endless accumulation of indignities. Airlines learned their human factors from hospitals. I've adapted my routine to minimize hassles. Park in the same level of the same ramp. Check in at the less-used kiosks in the transit level. Check my bag so I don't have to **** around with the overhead bins. I'd rather dawdle at the carousel than drag the thing around the terminal anyway. Always the frequent flyer line at the security checkpoint. Sometimes there's an airline person at the entrance of that line to check my boarding pass, sometimes not. An irritation. I'd rather it was always, or never. Sometimes means I don't know if I need my boarding pass out or not. Same words to the TSA agent. Standard responses. "Doing fine," whether I am or not. Same belt. It's gone through the metal detector every time. I don't need to take it off. Only... today, something is different. Instead of my bags trundling through the x-ray machine, she stops the belt. Calls over another agent, a palaver. Another agent flocks to the screen. A gabble, a conference, some consternation. They pull my laptop, my new laptop making its first trip with me, out of the flow of bags. One takes me aside to a partitioned cubicle. Another of the endless supply of TSA agents takes the rest of my bags to a different cubicle. No yellow brick road here, just a pair of yellow painted feet on the floor, and my flight is boarding. I am made to understand that I should stand and wait. My laptop is on the table in front of me, just beyond reach, like I am waiting to collect my personal effects after being paroled. I'm standing, watching my laptop on the table, listening to security clucking just behind me. "There's no drive," one says. "And no ports on the back. It has a couple of lines where the drive should be," she continues. A younger agent, joins the crew. I must now be occupying ten, perhaps twenty, percent of the security force. At this checkpoint anyway. There are three score more at the other five checkpoints. The new arrival looks at the printouts from x-ray, looks at my laptop sitting small and alone. He tells the others that it is a real laptop, not a "device". That it has a solid-state drive instead of a hard disc. They don't know what he means. He tries again, "Instead of a spinning disc, it keeps everything in flash memory." Still no good. "Like the memory card in a digital camera." He points to the x-ray, "Here. That's what it uses instead of a hard drive." The senior agent hasn't been trained for technological change. New products on the market? They haven't been TSA approved. Probably shouldn't be permitted. He requires me to open the "device" and run a program. I do, and despite his inclination, the lead agent decides to release me and my troublesome laptop. My flight is long gone now, so I head for the service center to get rebooked. Behind me, I hear the younger agent, perhaps not realizing that even the TSA must obey TSA rules, repeating himself. "It's a MacBook Air."
Posts: 278,236

03-12-2008, 09:15 PM	#2
Fish Ain't no relax! Join Date: Sep 2005 Casino cash: $2178919	Macbook Air is a pain in the ass to support..... __________________
Posts: 47,568

03-12-2008, 09:22 PM	#3
dtebbe 3M TA3 Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: SoFlo Casino cash: $9993039	Any self important turd burgler hippie that owns a MacBook air deserves to miss their flight. DT
Posts: 4,305

03-12-2008, 09:22 PM	#4
banyon Supporter Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Hermosa, SD Casino cash: $10176551	This does seem like quite a hassle. You were in a big hurry to get back into your parents' basement, then? __________________ “When war breaks out people say: 'It won't last, it's too stupid.' And war is certainly too stupid, but that doesn't prevent It from lasting.” ~Albert Camus, The Plague.
Posts: 44,355

03-12-2008, 09:29 PM	#7
penguinz Supporter Join Date: Mar 2003 Casino cash: $3047626	I like and use macs everyday. That will not stop me from saying this guy deserves it for wasting 3k on that piece of crap laptop. __________________
Posts: 16,351

03-12-2008, 09:37 PM	#11
Hammock Parties I'll be back. Join Date: Nov 2002 Casino cash: $4610478	He probably bought them on credit. I bet Ari is swimming in debt up to his eyeballs. __________________ Chiefs game films
Posts: 278,236

03-12-2008, 10:31 PM	#13
Eleazar Beyond the Rapids Join Date: May 2003 Location: Langley, VA Casino cash: $-370000	that's funny. i got looked at pretty hard one time for just forgetting to take the laptop out of the bag before i ran it through the machine.
Posts: 80,659