The Chiefsplanet Peoplewatching Thread

[Goldmember]

Rainman, I was laughing so hard all memory of my weird experiences in the Bay Area, and there have been a few, flew right out of my head. Get back to you later once I regroup

[Rain Man]

I was walking down the pedestrian mall today, and three homeless guys were talking. One of them was complaining about how some guy tried to stab him, but didn't do it right. The others were sympathetic.


Homeless Guy 1: And he came up behind me, but he just poked me with it. He didn't stab. Like this. (Takes his finger and pokes at the kidney area of Homeless Guy 2.)

Homeless Guy 2: You can't do that.

Homeless Guy 1: Yeah, it just felt like someone poked me with something. It was ridiculous. He had no idea how to stab someone.

Homeless Guy 3: You have to punch. You have to forget you're holding the knife and just punch the guy with your fist. But holding the knife.

Homeless Guy 1: Exactly. This guy had no idea what he was doing.

[seclark]

it's the 2nd of october, and as i pull into the switching office where i work i see the meth-heads that live down the street are outside hanging up freaking Christmas lights. this is about 7am this morning.

just walked out to the truck, and now there's pack of dogs on their porch, howling their asses off.

isn't it kind of early for Christmas caroling?
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[JD10367]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

I was walking down the pedestrian mall today, and three homeless guys were talking. One of them was complaining about how some guy tried to stab him, but didn't do it right. The others were sympathetic.


Homeless Guy 1: And he came up behind me, but he just poked me with it. He didn't stab. Like this. (Takes his finger and pokes at the kidney area of Homeless Guy 2.)

Homeless Guy 2: You can't do that.

Homeless Guy 1: Yeah, it just felt like someone poked me with something. It was ridiculous. He had no idea how to stab someone.

Homeless Guy 3: You have to punch. You have to forget you're holding the knife and just punch the guy with your fist. But holding the knife.

Homeless Guy 1: Exactly. This guy had no idea what he was doing.

Actually you shouldn't hold the knife pointed towards the person at all. You should hold the knife in your right hand (assuming you're a rightie) with the blade's pointed to the right and forwards. Picture the way you'd grip a bicycle or motorcycle handle, and then picture the blade coming out to the right. This serves a variety of purposes. First, they can't grab your wrist, or they'll be grabbing the blade. Second, they can't force your arm backwards and into your face/chest and stab you with your own blade. Third, it's hardsr for them to wrestle the knife from you by prying your fingers loose because you can be twisting your fist towards you and cutting the shit out of them. Fourth, it allows you to punch, and follow through with the blade swiping from right to left across your target, and then you can return-strike with a quick jab to the chest by reversing your arm's motion and punching backwards at them.

[Iowanian]

The other day, something caught my eye out the office window and I looked up to see what I'll call a "bag lady" with a big, poofy knitted hat on and some kind of long coat/robe with pajama pants on, standing in the small area between my parking lot and the main road.

She's bent over, not far from my ride, and appears to be messing with a 1/4 full bottle of what I think was sunkist soda that someone had obviously pitched out. Kids hang out in my lot at night, so there is usually something to pick up(beer cans aren't uncommon).

Anyway, she picks it up, I'm assume to collect/sell...and then puts it down. She goes across the street to another business and about 10 minutes later is coming back. She goes to the same spot, picks up the same bottle, swishes it around a little, dumps out a glug or two.....removes a water bottle from her pocket and dumps some in the bottle.

Then, takes a drink from the Sunkist bottle.

[Rain Man]

Homeless people really are the most interesting people around.

This morning I was walking in to work and this one fellow I recognize was coming towards me. He always asks for money in a very polite manner, "so he can get something to eat".

So he's walking toward me and he's eating some sort of big honey bun/cinnamon roll kind of thing, and as I pass he goes, "Excuse me, sir. Can you spare some change so I can get some-" and then he stopped. Apparently he suddenly realized that his line doesn't work very well if he's actually eating while he's saying it. So he just cut off his sentence and kept walking. I thought it was kind of funny.

[Dark Horse]

I saw a homeless guy a while back holding a sign that read " why lie I need a beer"

[Jenson71]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Homeless people really are the most interesting people around.

My first night in New York City, I didn't want to get a hotel, and the buses to Wayne had ended, so I walked around Manhattan all night with my big suitcase. I went to a McDonalds near Times Square at about 1am, and a homeless black guy asked if I would buy him a sandwich.

I said okay, because I didn't want to die on my very first day in NYC. So I ordered a McDouble off the $1 menu. He ordered some specialty meal for $7. And then we sat down and talked about the election of Barack Obama for about an hour. He actually didn't have much hope with him. It was a decent hour or so. He asked me at the end for $40 for a Scientology screening for himself, and I declined, despite the inticing promise of a full refund if I gave him my PO Box.

[Hammock Parties]

Originally Posted by Jenson71

I went to a McDonalds near Times Square at about 1am, and a homeless black guy asked if I would buy him a sandwich.

I said okay, because I didn't want to die on my very first day in NYC. So I ordered a McDouble off the $1 menu. He ordered some specialty meal for $7. And then we sat down and talked about the election of Barack Obama for about an hour.

You are such a pussy.

You gave a bum $7 for no reason.

You should have told him to go **** himself, he might have learned a lesson.

[Jenson71]

I felt it was legitimate charity. With my bags, I considered myself to be in a bit of vulnerable position, and I certainly would not want to be confrontational.

I know we were great 'people watching' material.

[Rain Man]

This might actually be worth its own thread, but I don't want to be presumptuous.

I got a cab ride today, and the driver was a friendly German fellow. I was making small talk with him, and asked if he could drop me off at a Chinese food restaurant. I got a long discourse from him about how good a person his Thai ex-wife was, and if I followed the conversation correctly he more or less said that she was a Thai prostitute. He was discussing the thought processes of Thai prostitutes and how they want to marry white men and then started telling me how a person goes about attracting Thai prostitutes when in Thailand. Short story - be white and tell them they're pretty, though I personally question whether the second part is really required.

The funny thing is, when we went to the Chinese place he actually parked the taxi and went in and checked out the hostess at the Chinese place. No other reason as far as I could tell. He and I agreed that she was attractive.

[Mr. Kotter]

This is suspiciously like the...

"People of Walmart" website....I'm just sayin'....heh.

[rockymtnchief]

Originally Posted by Mr. Kotter

This is suspiciously like the...

"People of Walmart" website....I'm just sayin'....heh.

I got one of the "People of Walmart" e-mails yesterday. In it was one of my co-workers! I wanted to forward it to other co-workers, but I was informed the guys wife died that morning. Now I feel guilty for laughing at the poor bastard.

[Rain Man]

I was on the bus yesterday, and two people behind me started chatting. They didn't know each other, but were just killing time. One of them was a woman who was not a knockout, but not unattractive. The other was a guy with some piercings and stretched-out earlobes with big hoops in them.

I wasn't listening for the most part, but at one point I think they were talking about being in jail. Then the conversation went as follows:

Woman: The last time I was in jail, I was so bored that I read the bible. The whole bible.

Man: Really? The whole thing?

Woman: Yeah, start to finish.

Man: That's a really long story.

Woman: Actually, it's a bunch of stories.

Man: Really?

Woman: Yeah, and you know what? Adam and Eve had butt sex.

Man: Really?

Woman: It's on like page 2 or something.

Man: It says in the bible that they had butt sex?

Woman: It's right in there. It says it.

Man: I didn't know that.

[ChiefsrGood]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

I was on the bus yesterday, and two people behind me started chatting. They didn't know each other, but were just killing time. One of them was a woman who was not a knockout, but not unattractive. The other was a guy with some piercings and stretched-out earlobes with big hoops in them.

I wasn't listening for the most part, but at one point I think they were talking about being in jail. Then the conversation went as follows:

Woman: The last time I was in jail, I was so bored that I read the bible. The whole bible.

Man: Really? The whole thing?

Woman: Yeah, start to finish.

Man: That's a really long story.

Woman: Actually, it's a bunch of stories.

Man: Really?

Woman: Yeah, and you know what? Adam and Eve had butt sex.

Man: Really?

Woman: It's on like page 2 or something.

Man: It says in the bible that they had butt sex?

Woman: It's right in there. It says it.

Man: I didn't know that.