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Old 08-09-2010, 12:35 PM  
FAX FAX is offline
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FAX And The Morphine Withdrawal
Boys and girls, this is freaking hard. Crap ... I can barely type, too ...

I've been taking upwards of 200 mg of morphine sulfate daily for the last year and a half since prior to my back surgery last October.

Anyhow, I got a little crazy and quit the pills Wednesday night ... mother****ing child of God's abandon ****ing fallen angels ... I swear, I feel like I've been trying to climb out of the Devil's asshole for the last four days. This is the most difficult thing I've ever done in my entire freaking life.

Do not ... ever ... do not become addicted to narcotics, peeps. They will rock your world and ruin your ass. That is all.

FAX THE HALF DEAD AND WISHING IT WASN'T JUST HALF
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Old 08-16-2010, 12:12 PM   #151
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FAX View Post
So, now I feel like crap, but I know that I will eventually return to "normal" ... whatever that is.
FAX
This is the crux.
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Old 08-16-2010, 12:21 PM   #152
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PhillyChiefFan View Post
You'll beat this, cause you have a true desire to do so.

My wife works in a treatment facility and I have heard awful stories, but I have also heard stories of people who are severely addicted to drugs/pills or what have you and beating the addiction, then coming back and helping other people beat theirs. It's truly inspirational.

The absolute best of luck to you Mr. FAX.
Thanks, man. It's funny, but I contacted Vanderbilt's detox center some time back as I was considering their services for this deal. The lady who took my call said that "everyone" goes back on the drugs after detox ... "everyone". I was shocked.

My guess is that they make it easy (or easier) by "tapering" you down using Suboxone or similar drugs. I wanted to go the David Crosby route because I recalled a quote of his ... he said, "If I had a choice of being an addict again or going back to prison, put the cuffs on me now."

I interpreted that to mean that the withdrawal sucked so much his pea brain finally got the message. As for my pea brain, it definitely has.

FAX
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Old 08-16-2010, 12:25 PM   #153
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That's sobering.

(Pun intended).
That seems unreal. How can they know they are getting you hooked on that stuff yet not counsel and assist you?
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Old 08-16-2010, 12:39 PM   #154
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That seems unreal. How can they know they are getting you hooked on that stuff yet not counsel and assist you?
The pain centers (the script writers) just write prescriptions. That's all they do. Their model is to deal with DEA issues and keep piss test records. I have not once received any advice and/or support from those guys ... other than to refer me to a detox center.

Detox centers charge tons of money. Vandy, for example, is upwards of $2500 a day ... typical stay being 10 days. Other centers charge anywhere from 7 grand to 20 or 30 grand in California, for example. Interestingly, most insurance doesn't cover a lot of detox expense.

They hook your ass then they make money detoxifying you. It's a racket.

Hell of a business model, though. Lots of repeat customers.

FAX
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Old 08-16-2010, 12:40 PM   #155
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MOhillbilly View Post
This is the crux.
If you could "unpack" that cryptic statement, I would be most grateful, Mr. MOhillbilly.

It sounds as though you may know something I don't.

FAX
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Old 08-16-2010, 12:57 PM   #156
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There once was a man over-pilled
now that he's quit he is chilled
once squirrelly on dope
he's finding new hope
and now all of his friends are thrilled



For some reason, I felt this thread should have a poetic verse.
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Old 08-16-2010, 12:59 PM   #157
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There once was a man over-pilled
now that he's quit he is chilled
once squirrelly on dope
he's finding new hope
and now all of his friends are thrilled



For some reason, I felt this thread should have a poetic verse.
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Old 08-16-2010, 01:01 PM   #158
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Originally Posted by FAX View Post
The pain centers (the script writers) just write prescriptions. That's all they do. Their model is to deal with DEA issues and keep piss test records. I have not once received any advice and/or support from those guys ... other than to refer me to a detox center.

Detox centers charge tons of money. Vandy, for example, is upwards of $2500 a day ... typical stay being 10 days. Other centers charge anywhere from 7 grand to 20 or 30 grand in California, for example. Interestingly, most insurance doesn't cover a lot of detox expense.

They hook your ass then they make money detoxifying you. It's a racket.

Hell of a business model, though. Lots of repeat customers.

FAX
Unreal. Perhaps somewhere in all of this there is a cause for you to take up.
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Old 08-16-2010, 01:04 PM   #159
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After being high for so long you forget what your 'normal' is. Finding your sober 'normal' is hard and scary.

I remember somewhere around 98ish thinking what this would be like.

You better hold fast mr fax.
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Old 08-19-2010, 09:47 PM   #160
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I know it's time for this thread to die in some kind of aids fire or something, but I wanted to end it the right way ... based merely on the rationale that somebody ... someday ... somewhere ... may find themselves in a similar situation and, if so, they will need to know some of this ...

Today is day 15 (I think that's right - it's real darn close, anyhow). As of now, I feel fine. No problems whatsoever. The withdrawal symptoms are almost completely gone and the lethargy/malaise (that Mr. beach tribe so correctly warned me about) is slowly but steadily abating.

So, what have we learned boys and girls?

We have learned that prescription narcotics are actually little turd nuggets produced directly from Satan's ass and (no matter who you are) they can and will kick your frigging butt all the way to Hell and gone with neither doubt nor delay.

We have learned that, after two years or so of taking very high daily dosages, you can, in fact, beat the dependency.

We have learned that true desire, nutritious food, tons of vitamin, protein, and amino acid supplements, exercise, and lots of support from friends and family make all the difference.

Interestingly, my senses are coming to life in a way I had forgotten they actually worked ... taste, smell, sight, hearing, touch ... it's all very different, now. More acute ... much more, actually. Also, I've noticed that my brain is functioning a little differently ... I've been writing more in the last three days than in the last several months combined. Crazy. I was simply unaware of how effectively the morphine was dulling my senses and systems.

Anyhow, I just wanted to wrap this up ... 15 days ... that's not a lot to tackle when you consider the alternative. And, from where I'm sitting, it's well worth the effort.

Thanks for all the good wishes and support, guys. Couldn't have done it without you.

FAX
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Old 08-19-2010, 09:50 PM   #161
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Arguably one of the best posts I've ever read on this site. Well done. Well done.
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Old 08-19-2010, 10:38 PM   #162
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feels better, for sure. Well done.
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Old 08-19-2010, 10:50 PM   #163
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**** yeah FAX.

I'm so goddamn happy you're doing well. Congratulations. Stay off the juice, bud.
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Old 08-19-2010, 10:52 PM   #164
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FAX View Post
I know it's time for this thread to die in some kind of aids fire or something, but I wanted to end it the right way ... based merely on the rationale that somebody ... someday ... somewhere ... may find themselves in a similar situation and, if so, they will need to know some of this ...

Today is day 15 (I think that's right - it's real darn close, anyhow). As of now, I feel fine. No problems whatsoever. The withdrawal symptoms are almost completely gone and the lethargy/malaise (that Mr. beach tribe so correctly warned me about) is slowly but steadily abating.

So, what have we learned boys and girls?

We have learned that prescription narcotics are actually little turd nuggets produced directly from Satan's ass and (no matter who you are) they can and will kick your frigging butt all the way to Hell and gone with neither doubt nor delay.

We have learned that, after two years or so of taking very high daily dosages, you can, in fact, beat the dependency.

We have learned that true desire, nutritious food, tons of vitamin, protein, and amino acid supplements, exercise, and lots of support from friends and family make all the difference.

Interestingly, my senses are coming to life in a way I had forgotten they actually worked ... taste, smell, sight, hearing, touch ... it's all very different, now. More acute ... much more, actually. Also, I've noticed that my brain is functioning a little differently ... I've been writing more in the last three days than in the last several months combined. Crazy. I was simply unaware of how effectively the morphine was dulling my senses and systems.

Anyhow, I just wanted to wrap this up ... 15 days ... that's not a lot to tackle when you consider the alternative. And, from where I'm sitting, it's well worth the effort.

Thanks for all the good wishes and support, guys. Couldn't have done it without you.

FAX
What was tougher to kick, Fax? Banging Bo Derek or opiates?



Just kiddin', Bro. I'm glad you're well (even though I'm in the Draftablutor doghouse).

Be well, Friend.
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Old 08-19-2010, 10:54 PM   #165
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Keep fighting the good fight Mr. Fax...It's not easy, but nothing worth gaining ever is
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