The Hits Just Keep On Comin'

[FAX]

I learned earlier this evening that one of my best friends (we've known each other since high school) committed suicide Monday. I can't help but kick myself for not reaching out to him more. He was extremely close to my mother who passed at Christmastime. On top of that, his "wife" has been spending time away from the home for weeks on end ... a divorce was eminent. He lives (lived) in a small town and has probably felt extremely isolated. I should have done more.

I want to encourage each and every one of you to reach out to those around you ... especially those who are going through difficult times. Life is both short and sometimes hard ... and it's harder on some than others. Sometimes, like my friend, people have a facade you can't see through. A word of encouragement, a sincere hand of friendship, an expression of love ... these cost nothing but can have great value to those you care for.

FAX

[KC native]

Originally Posted by FAX

Normally, I would be, Mr. ClevelandBronco. I've always viewed suicide as a very selfish act. For some reason, in this case, I'm not angry with him. Disappointed, but not angry.

Probably because I know how lonely he must have been. For him to do this, things must have been very bad, indeed. Torturous.

FAX

Very wise. I get annoyed with the selfish act line because the pain that the person was feeling was serious enough to outweigh any selfishness.

Sorry for your loss. I'm still dealing with the fallout from my friend that recently committed suicide.

[Fritz88]

Sorry for your loss Fax. Don't kick yourself too much over it. There was nothing that you could have done.

[Ebolapox]

damn, man. sorry to hear about that.

[kc rush]

Sorry to hear this FAX. Hang in there.

[Buehler445]

Sorry to hear, Mr FAX.

Don't beat yourself up too much. I've tried to step in and help people and have found that typically people are going to do what they are going to do despite what you do. The only time I've had success in helping folks is when they genuinely want to change.

Its pretty natural to feel guilty, but don't let it get you down.

Keep your head up.
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[DeezNutz]

Good thoughts and best wishes your way, FAX.

[Iowanian]

Sorry Fax.

This isn't your fault. He quit, not you.

[BigRedChief]

Sorry for your loss.

Life is indeed too frigging short.

[OnTheWarpath15]

That's awful, MR. FAX.

I'm sorry for your loss. Hang in there.

[Otter]

Originally Posted by FAX

Thanks, but I'm pissed off more than anything, Mr. pr_capone. Pissed at his asswipe of a "wife" who has treated him like dirt for years. Pissed that I didn't do more. Pissed that I didn't do a better job of recognizing the signs and reach out. Pissed that the world can hold so much pain and despair and loneliness.

FAX

Hang in there Fax bud. You can only do so much. Be the kind of person you wish you were, surround yourself by good people and keep the people who bring you down far, far away.

There's lots of bad out there but lots of good too. Chin up mister!

[InChiefsHeaven]

I've never dealt with that specifically Mr. Fax, but I have tried to "be there" for people who are taking wrong turns in their lives and obviously wrecking them. At some point, we all want to know that we did all that we could. You don't feel that you did that, hence your anguish. The kicker is, there is a very good chance that nothing you could have done would have been enough, but I understand the anguish you feel. If you are a praying man, pray on that. You're a good man and a caring person, and you must know that there is only so much you can really take responsibility for in the case of your friend's suicide.

I won't say not to beat yourself up, because that's the natural thing for people who give a shit to do. Just don't dwell on it for too long. Mourn him, but not for too long, and then move on a wiser man.

[Brianfo]

My thoughts are with you and his family. Noone can know the pain that he was going thru to end his life. Hopefully, he is in a better place now.

[loochy]

That sucks man. Don't blame yourself at all. If he was to the point of suicide his problems ran so deeply that probably nothing could have helped him. Just feel better in knowing that he is out of his pain now.

[gblowfish]

When I was in college, one of my best friends hung himself in his parent's attic. It made me very angry, until I learned he had been diagnosed as schizophrenic about two weeks prior. Your friend may have been suffering from clinical depression or other mental incapacitation. You just can't know for sure. And you can't blame yourself. The worst thing about suicide is what it does to those left behind. It's a very selfish act. Unfortunately, those who commit the act don't realize how the effects go beyond themselves. I'm very sorry for your loss, and I know how you feel.

[MOhillbilly]

Keep your head up Fax.