Farting on a Plane

[TinyEvel]

Just surreptitiously ripped one on a Southwest flight heading to KC.

Is there no better place to slide out a stealthy air turd than amidst the noise and anonymity of an airliner at 30,000 feet?

1) Nobody can hear it.
2) There are 20 people in your immediate vicinity on whom you can blame said air biscuit.
3) The seat cushion acts like a sifting filter -- you don't need to lift a cheek, it just slowly disperses out through the foam like an ass Britta filter.
4) You can open the overhead air flow in advance to blow that floater quickly throughout the cabin.
5) If you're close to the back of the plane and someone does smell it, you can roll your eyes and point towards the lavatory, to imply that someone dropped a wicked deuce in there.

You know you've done it...

[GloryDayz]

Originally Posted by BiStateNo

I know, right? I have been traveling to Denver and the front range for my company for the last 12 years or so. I have never gotten the "pull" of that godawful city. Colorado Springs is decent, but Denver (to me) is just nasty. Hell, the people aren't much better. I know that the donkey fans refer to KC as "camarohead", but I've never seen so damned many rednecks and space cadets as I encounter on a daily basis when I'm there.

People all too often confuse Denver with places like Vail, and it's not even close. Yes, Vail is a short'ish drive from Denver, but so is Leawood from KCK, that doesn't make a KCK a Leawood.

[Squalor2]

Originally Posted by splatbass

Not true. I sat on a flight to Korea next to a Korean man farting out kim chi farts for TEN HOURS. Trust me, you can smell it, and you know exactly where it came from. I didn't know you could even fart for ten hours straight.

Chances are good the person next to you knew exactly where it came from.

you got kim cheesed

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by splatbass

The mountains are the draw, not the people.

I guess I would agree. No one ever comes to visit me.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by BiStateNo

I know, right? I have been traveling to Denver and the front range for my company for the last 12 years or so. I have never gotten the "pull" of that godawful city. Colorado Springs is decent, but Denver (to me) is just nasty. Hell, the people aren't much better. I know that the donkey fans refer to KC as "camarohead", but I've never seen so damned many rednecks and space cadets as I encounter on a daily basis when I'm there.

Where are you going in Denver? And is it actually Denver or is it one of the 'burbs? Denver is utopian.

[Squalor2]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

I think the momentum may help increase airspeed and range. If there was a lot of trouble on a transatlantic flight and the plane was about to run out of fuel, I bet the pilot would ask everybody to do it.

whew, malaysia 317 reeks of arse. someday they will find the tail end and a black boxy

[Johnny Vegas]

Usually a fart is a turd honking it's right of way so I try and hold that shit so I don't end up using the lavatory. Maybe not all farts will but I'm just not willing to gamble at 30,000 feet

[Randallflagg]

Originally Posted by splatbass

The mountains are the draw, not the people.

I suppose, however after seeing the "mountains" for 15 minutes - I pay them no mind...

[Randallflagg]

Originally Posted by GloryDayz

People all too often confuse Denver with places like Vail, and it's not even close. Yes, Vail is a short'ish drive from Denver, but so is Leawood from KCK, that doesn't make a KCK a Leawood.

Understood. Most any major downtown area looks bad (my opinion, of course). However, Denver (proper) represents itself as a "hip" place and maybe it is - according to how you look at it, but I've been to LoDo in upscale restaurants and in million dollar lofts of some of our clients and walked out their door to see guys pissing in the streets. Now, granted, I'm an old fart, but it's Denver, not Amsterdam.

[Randallflagg]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Where are you going in Denver? And is it actually Denver or is it one of the 'burbs? Denver is utopian.

We have clients in Denver, Brighton, Greely, Colorado Springs, Loveland, Longmont, Fort Collins, Boulder, Louisville, Golden and Commerce City.

I wonder how you came up with "Utopian" as a way of describing Denver? I'm sorry, I just don't see it. Sure, Coors field is downtown. Big deal. You sit in traffic for 3 hours to get there. I-25? Please. The worst interstate I have ever traveled on. And I put an average of 35 hours a month driving that nightmare. Bars? Hell, I've been in bars in every nation on earth. They all smell alike. I have to carry my toll pass into Denver from KC to get from point "a" to point "b" (and our accountant raises holy hell with me) because to get nearly anywhere in the Metro area, you have to pay to drive on the roads, or sit in traffic for hours. And, as a bonus, they say that nearly 150,000 NEW folks have moved to Denver. The headline in the Denver Post read - "Think traffic is bad now? Wait 10 years".

[TLO]

Also a poop thread

[GloryDayz]

Originally Posted by BiStateNo

We have clients in Denver, Brighton, Greely, Colorado Springs, Loveland, Longmont, Fort Collins, Boulder, Louisville, Golden and Commerce City.

I wonder how you came up with "Utopian" as a way of describing Denver? I'm sorry, I just don't see it. Sure, Coors field is downtown. Big deal. You sit in traffic for 3 hours to get there. I-25? Please. The worst interstate I have ever traveled on. And I put an average of 35 hours a month driving that nightmare. Bars? Hell, I've been in bars in every nation on earth. They all smell alike. I have to carry my toll pass into Denver from KC to get from point "a" to point "b" (and our accountant raises holy hell with me) because to get nearly anywhere in the Metro area, you have to pay to drive on the roads, or sit in traffic for hours. And, as a bonus, they say that nearly 150,000 NEW folks have moved to Denver. The headline in the Denver Post read - "Think traffic is bad now? Wait 10 years".

I think if you're an avid outdoors person "Denver" is one of the places you'll move to live with/around people with the same mindset. All the other realities are secondary to the perceived lifestyle. I get it, it's sort of the same thing that draws people the other areas like Portland.

I have a young man who works for me (an avid Chiefs fan too!!!) who moved from KC to Denver and loves it. He didn't dislike KC, he just wanted to live more of the outdoors life, and the Denver area offers a LOT of that and like-minded people. But because of all you typed, he and his wife moved from Westminster to just south of Golden. He's a 100% teleworker (when in Denver) and she's a teacher who's car barely warms-up by the time she gets to work (and has also been known to bike to work).

I'm happy that he's happy...