Prayer Request I need the strength to be the best dad possible. - Page 5

**BossChief** · 08-12-2010, 04:20 PM

I just found out that my sons mother just passed away (in California) and that I need to go out there and get things in order to pick him up. Its a blessing because I want nothing more than to have my son, but it will be very tough because he has always lived with her. Im about to find out what being a single dad is all about real fast.

I know very little details beyond that, but if you could, please send a prayer for me to keep me strong through all this.

I will update you all as I get more information...

BIG_DADDY · 08-14-2010, 11:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pawnmower

Sending you a prayer or three.

Also I live in Northern California (Sonoma County) so if you need to spend the night somewhere during your travels you are welcome to crash here for a night or two.

Anyhow, sending positive thoughts your direction.

I just spent the night in the insane asylum out there the other night. I forgot just how beautiful it is there. BTW, Tra Vigne is the bomb.

**Ming the Merciless** · 08-15-2010, 11:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BIG_DADDY

I just spent the night in the insane asylum out there the other night. I forgot just how beautiful it is there. BTW, Tra Vigne is the bomb.

Yah, it is a beautiful spot. I'm a little closer to the coast, but I'll have to check Tra Vigne out some time...My wife loves Italian food. Thanks for the tip!

**bevischief** · 08-15-2010, 03:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BIG_DADDY

I just spent the night in the insane asylum out there the other night. I forgot just how beautiful it is there. BTW, Tra Vigne is the bomb.

Who let you out?

**Iowanian** · 08-16-2010, 07:36 AM

Good Luck. Definitely time to put on your big boy pants now.

CaliforniaChief · 08-16-2010, 08:29 AM

Boss, you are showing a lot of maturity through this. His grandparents' move to get custody is more likely a protective move for him and in a sense, a way to hold on to memories of their daughter. Their fears will be greatly relieved by you moving out there. This isn't to say that you stop the legal process because you don't...but your actions are doing a lot to draw down their defense mechanisms.

Still praying, man.

RedNFeisty · 08-16-2010, 10:31 AM

I wish you the best and send prayers your way. No one is ever really ready to be a parent, whether it be for a new born or a six year old, just remember the tragic loss he is going through, along with meeting his father for the first time; it is going to be a big change for him and a lot for him to process.

I have no advice to give other then shower him with love and devotion, making him a priority.

BIG_DADDY · 08-16-2010, 02:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pawnmower

Yah, it is a beautiful spot. I'm a little closer to the coast, but I'll have to check Tra Vigne out some time...My wife loves Italian food. Thanks for the tip!

The wine menue is a little steep though so you may just want to bring your own and pay for corking. Food was awesome. I went on Ciopinno Wednesdays and it was the best I had ever had for $20. The corn soup with morrels was the bomb too. It is supposed to be very hard to get in and I recommed calling way in advance to set a reservation. We walked in right when they opened and they found a seat for us in an empty dining room. I was like, "what's the big deal the place is empty" 30 minutes later there wasn't a seat in the house. I'll be coming through again the weekend after next.

Sweet Daddy Hate · 08-27-2010, 10:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BossChief

I just found out that my sons mother just passed away (in California) and that I need to go out there and get things in order to pick him up. Its a blessing because I want nothing more than to have my son, but it will be very tough because he has always lived with her. Im about to find out what being a single dad is all about real fast.

I know very little details beyond that, but if you could, please send a prayer for me to keep me strong through all this.

I will update you all as I get more information...

How did I miss this? I'm so sorry man.

Hydrae · 08-27-2010, 11:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BossChief

Its not being an asshole asking that. It is something I have battled for some time now. I admit I might have been able to do more, but hadn't, to be closer to him. It is the biggest mistake I have made in life and hopefully I can make up for it.

The only answer is that I didn't know he was my son till he was almost 3 years old and I hadn't gotten enough ahead to be able to move yet. It has been in plans, but hadn't materialized quite yet. I just got a letter on my door one day from the Sheriffs office giving me a date and time to take a dna test, almost three years ago. From the moment I was named the dad I was well behind the 8ball and had a lot of catching up to do.

Whatever I did it seemed there were always setbacks and at the end of the day I didn't do enough and I regret that.

All I can do is move forward and try to do the best I can from here.

I am in the process of taking the steps to move out there. After a lot of thought and conversation with friends and loved ones...its the ONLY decision. It will be hard to leave my Mom and brother (that has a son the same age) and all the great relationships I have built out here, but its the only logical decision at this point. He is my first son and my life focus has changed from being a "paper father" to having a chance to be a real dad.

I cant even imagine the fear that would go through his head if I were to make the selfish decision to take him all the way here and away from everyone he has grown to love, after losing his momma. I wont do that even if given the opertunity to do so. I have his long term emotional well being in my best interest and focus and if I made that selfish decision he would likely develop serious issues that he would carry his whole life and I want this to be as easy and natural as possible a transition for him as we can make it. He will have enough to deal with as is without adding a lot more to that list.

This post answers a lot of the questions that came up in my mind reading through this thread. It sounds like you have a great plan on how to support him and it is very good that you recognize the need for him to keep as much stability in his life as possible right now. Major props to you, you are well on your way to being a GREAT dad!

Omaha · 08-27-2010, 11:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BossChief

He just turned 6. About the worst time for this kind of thing to happen, I would imagine.

My oldest just turned 6, as well. Good luck, man.

08-12-2010, 04:20 PM
BossChief SuperBowl or bust Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: BF Iowa Casino cash: $1664088	I need the strength to be the best dad possible. I just found out that my sons mother just passed away (in California) and that I need to go out there and get things in order to pick him up. Its a blessing because I want nothing more than to have my son, but it will be very tough because he has always lived with her. Im about to find out what being a single dad is all about real fast. I know very little details beyond that, but if you could, please send a prayer for me to keep me strong through all this. I will update you all as I get more information...
Posts: 47,157

08-16-2010, 07:36 AM	#64
Iowanian Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia Casino cash: $4658454	Good Luck. Definitely time to put on your big boy pants now.
Posts: 61,554

08-16-2010, 08:29 AM	#65
CaliforniaChief #RIPAce Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: So Cal Casino cash: $12332899	Boss, you are showing a lot of maturity through this. His grandparents' move to get custody is more likely a protective move for him and in a sense, a way to hold on to memories of their daughter. Their fears will be greatly relieved by you moving out there. This isn't to say that you stop the legal process because you don't...but your actions are doing a lot to draw down their defense mechanisms. Still praying, man.
Posts: 17,323

08-16-2010, 10:31 AM	#66
RedNFeisty Smokin Join Date: May 2003 Location: Wichita Casino cash: $10004900	I wish you the best and send prayers your way. No one is ever really ready to be a parent, whether it be for a new born or a six year old, just remember the tragic loss he is going through, along with meeting his father for the first time; it is going to be a big change for him and a lot for him to process. I have no advice to give other then shower him with love and devotion, making him a priority. __________________ F.O.C.U.S sportsshrink: Don't bite the hand that feeds you!!!! "We the Fans" feed you Morons!!
Posts: 8,393