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07-01-2006, 05:29 PM | Topic Starter |
Rock Chalk Jayhawk
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How long would you wait?
Alright imagine (if you are married) or consider (if you are not) that you are a single man (or woman, but this is written from a man's point of view) in your mid to late 20's. You've dated many people and have not found the one girl who makes your mint life saver spark. Then one day, you meet someone with potential. After some getting to know one another you feel very strongly that this could develop into "the one." She is your counterpart in almost every way you can recognize in a month and a half. But a snag. This person is just off a horrible break up and feels it necessary to give herself some more time to work through her pain from that, yet very much wants to be involved with you. She feels it's not fair to you to get involved while she's in such a bad place (those of you who have been cheated on after a long relationship know that feeling). Let's assume that you trust this person is genuine and isn't just playing you.
As near as you can tell, this is your dreamgirl. How long would YOU wait for her. Yes, this is something I am asking myself at this very moment. I thought about a poll, but I'd rather see your personally constructed responses. I don't think anyone will sway me one way or another, I'm just curious what others would say if in the same situation. At this point in time, I'll stay patiently in the background until she is ready. No time limit for me. I feel that she is worth it... |
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07-01-2006, 05:34 PM | #2 |
The Collective Unconscious
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Are you ghey? I'm just kidding. A year. I would probably wait one calender year and no more.
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07-01-2006, 05:46 PM | #3 |
The Dude Abides
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I had the exact thing happen to me in reverse....I had dated a girl who I had thought was "it," but after four years we stagnated and a long-distance relationship didn not make the heart grow fonder. We ended it in March. In May, I met a wonderful woman who was everthing I'd ever imagined--but I was insistent for the first 3-4 months to myself (and less obviously, to her) I wasn't looking for anything long-term, I considered myself "on the rebound," and said I was just looking to have a good time. I found out later, according to her, she "knew" I was the "one" after our first date. She even told her mom and best friend as much, that weekend. However, she understood where I was, at the time, and played it really cool. She didn't crowd me, didn't demonstrate any expectations of commitment...and let me figure it out on my own what was best for me.
7 months after our first date, I asked her to marry me. 14 months after we met, we were married. We now have four children, and next month we celebrate our 17th anniversary. It hasn't always been easy, but through it all we decided we had made a commitment to each other to give it our best--to try to make it work. Through good times and bad. She's more than I ever deserved, and I thank God every day that she waited for me to figure it out.
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07-01-2006, 05:48 PM | #4 |
Dumbass!
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I think you should begin stalking her right now, day and night, to show her how truly dedicated you are to her.
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07-01-2006, 05:51 PM | #5 | |
The Dude Abides
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Quote:
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"I've always said I worry about legacy and winning rings more than making money at this moment...We see what's going on around the league, but at the same time, I'll never do anything that's going to hurt us from keeping the great players around me.” |
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07-01-2006, 05:53 PM | #6 | |
Dumbass!
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Quote:
Me? Kid?
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07-01-2006, 05:54 PM | #7 |
Starter
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I've intentionally not read the other responses to be unbiased with my remarks.
First off is this a disposable relationship? If it is not disposable how badly do you want this to work? In todays world it looks like most marriages are just temporary. The divorce rate (disposal) is climbing every year. If it were me I'd take as much time as I could to make sure this was a life mate and not just another ride in the sack. |
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07-01-2006, 06:10 PM | #8 | |
Rock Chalk Jayhawk
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Quote:
She is someone who has made it clear to me that she has no desire to leave the area (a problem I have encountered in the past, they all want to get the **** out of central PA). I try not to look too far into the future, but with her, I could easily envision spending my life with her. I want it very badly to work.
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07-01-2006, 06:07 PM | #9 | |
Rock Chalk Jayhawk
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Quote:
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"True bliss is not something you search for, true bliss is already living inside us all, and sometimes it takes a roomfull of others to lead us to the mirror of your soul." - CosmicPal (10-3-03) |
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07-01-2006, 06:09 PM | #10 | |
Dumbass!
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And I was so hoping that I would be the one to inspire!
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07-01-2006, 06:11 PM | #11 | |
Rock Chalk Jayhawk
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Quote:
I'm much too lazy to be a stalker.
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"True bliss is not something you search for, true bliss is already living inside us all, and sometimes it takes a roomfull of others to lead us to the mirror of your soul." - CosmicPal (10-3-03) |
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07-01-2006, 06:12 PM | #12 | |
The Dude Abides
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Quote:
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"I've always said I worry about legacy and winning rings more than making money at this moment...We see what's going on around the league, but at the same time, I'll never do anything that's going to hurt us from keeping the great players around me.” |
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07-01-2006, 06:17 PM | #13 | |
Rock Chalk Jayhawk
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Quote:
__________________
"True bliss is not something you search for, true bliss is already living inside us all, and sometimes it takes a roomfull of others to lead us to the mirror of your soul." - CosmicPal (10-3-03) |
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07-01-2006, 06:40 PM | #14 |
FINALLY! The wait is over.
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The fact that you stated you want it to work very badly is a sign you should probably relax from the situation yourself currently. I say this because in my experience when you want something so badly you are almost inevitibly bound to **** it up. Maybe the fact that she needs some time to heal from her wounds is the best thing that could happen for this potential relationship. It will give you two the time to form a friendship bond that may make both of you more comfortable when the time comes. I hope it works out for you. As to the question itself. I personally would never put a time limit on something I felt so strongly about. The time would be up when the feeling subsided.
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07-01-2006, 05:39 PM | #15 |
Time For Your Wake Up Call !!!
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You are dealing with a woman, a broken hearted woman. One must find it within their heart on the amount of time to wait.
But a year sounds good........
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