Funny college stories. - Page 7

**Skip Towne** · 01-15-2005, 10:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SDChiefsfan

Fraz and Skip will attempt to frame my portrayal of my college experiences as trite, and "whoring," so as the 'new' Rob...I am attempting to refrain from such self-indulgence.

Attempt Hell!!! We'll DO it.

**Baby Lee** · 01-15-2005, 10:31 AM

Freshman week, a group of us got good and buzzed. My buddy walked into a school building, grabbed the fire extinguisher and sprayed all of us. Then his GF hopped a squat and pissed on the quad. No repurcussions.

The wonder of going to school in a small town. Our weekly thing in band was to party our asses off Friday night, then mosey with our horns down to the practice field , where we'd have marching band runthrough at 7:00 am, lay down our coats, and go to sleep. We'd wake up when everyone else started arriving.

Middle of Freshman year, we had the biggest 4 person dorm on campus. we decided to throw a blowout and the RAs busted us with about $500 in liquor sitting on our two coffee tables. Amazingly, no repurcussions outside of ditching the liquor.

Junior year, went on a band trip and me and two of my buddies went batshit insane and split a 1.75 liter in about 1/2 an hour. Two hours later I had a girl hitting on me. Went to her hotel room. Started a 'little sumthin sumthin' with her roommates over on the over bed. Room started spinning, I hopped up, staggered to the bathroom, puked my guts out, and return to finish the deed. Never spoke to her again.

A random party in the winter, a buddy finished his 20th beer, abruptly stood up, walked to the door, fell off the porch and started puking. Once done, he nonchalantly stood back up, and walked down the street with his head held high. Found him the next morning sitting in his car down the street, passed out, having pissed his drivers seat.

**Saulbadguy** · 01-15-2005, 10:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ENDelt260

Gotcha.

Sorry if I touched a sore spot. Didn't mean to pull an SDChiefsFan on ya... just was confused.

Nope. I'm just eternally a "student", I think. I really hate school, and I usually go to a night class once every year and a half or so. I haven't been in awhile, but thinking of going back.

teedubya · 01-15-2005, 10:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SDChiefsfan

OK, my Soph year, a buddy and I go out to celebrate KU's victory over Number ONE ranked OU....go to Louise's; Foghorn's; and Moody's (on fake ID's). Several beers and a few shots later, we head to Johnny's...to see my roomate who is in a punk rock band; a couple of Alpha Phi's try persuading us to "stay"....to no avail. We end up at the "Jazz House" with my buddiy's Coasta Rican friend, and her roomate....a Scottish chick. Both provided us with much entertainment and pleasure throughout the rest of the evening....untill we decided to walk home; as we were too "under the influence" to drive.

We go back to my dorm room at Naismith Hall, and check out the "action" across Naismith Dr. at Oliver Hall.....a girl who wanted me, in particular; she and a friend had left their blinds "open" and Steve and I struggled over access to the telescope as Nancy and Tia were "experimenting".....I decide to call, to see if they need any "help," they don't answer their phone....then I called for one ring, hung up....and called another one ring....hung up....my "signal" to Nancy....she stops, calls me and invites Steve and I over to "help" her and Tia through their 'fun.' On the way over, security/rent-a-cops gave Steve and I "sobriety" tests that we somehow "passed."

We went to separate rooms, and after 3 hours of "playing" went to breakfast at Perkiins....

nice "story"... if that is what you call "it"

teedubya · 01-15-2005, 11:02 AM

So I hook up with this drunk chick at a bar on Mass St in Lawrence... too drunk to remember which bar... [I lived right across from Memorial Stadium on Mississippi...]

anyway... I pick up this chick or rather she picks me up... and we go back to her house on 11th-ish and Tennessee. I lived 11th & Miss... but whatever, we go to her house, since we wer both walking... it was much closer.

Apparently she lived with her boyfriend, but didnt bother to tell me that. We get to her house, I have to take a piss... so I go to her bathroom and she comes in... and watches me piss. Well after I get done pissing, and not fully shaken dry, if I recall... she gets on her knees and starts sucking me off.

Well she comes up and wants to kiss me... I obviously aint having any of that, Miss Pissmouth. But we start ****ing in her bathroom... on the counter in the bathroom. Well she has a curling iron on the counter and she left it on before going drinking, apparently cuz when we were having sex, I picked her up and was holding her legs while standing up going deep... well as I orgasm, I sit her ass on the counter and she burns her ass on the curling iron...

Well apparently her boyfriend is home. She is screaming about her ass... He is yelling from the other room and asking if everything was "okay, honey".

I shot my load so I get my pants up... I am kinda shocked to hear another dude in the house and ask who it is... her boyfriend. I ask her if she is a ****ing idiot...well he comes to the bathroom door and opens it, since it is not locked.

Well instinct takes over... I pop the dude with leftjab to the sternum and a right hook to the throat, push the dude down and get the **** out of the house, and run up 11th on my way home.

Well i notice that I dont have my keys... Luckily when I would go out, I would only take my house key on a jayhawk key ring... so, I cant get into my house.

And I have to walk about 3 miles to my buddys house and crashout over there.

What a fiasco. Interestingly enough, I didnt stumble across the ho or the boyfriend ever again.

angel · 01-15-2005, 11:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ENDelt260

Was mcan any of the people in that story?

he was home playing poker with our under 21 friends

**Iowanian** · 01-15-2005, 01:22 PM

Freshman year, some galpals thought it would be a good idea to start a prank war with Iowanian and his roomate. bad Idea. They broke into our dorm, destroyed it, took my piggy bank and our VCR. Everything upside down or on the floor.

We had another galpal on their floor who taped their door latch for us. While they are in class, we go up to their room, dump their "unmentionables" drawers into their pillow cases, leave a note that All of the missing contents could be found at Center Court of the Gym on the bearcat.

We also put a brown paper bag, labeld "free brownies" in their refrigerator. The only problem was that while the ingredients included peanuts.....the body was a large Iowani-turd.

That pretty much ended it.

**Iowanian** · 01-15-2005, 01:31 PM

End of Freshman year...day before Finals. Iowanian and friends get pretty shitfaced in the afternoon.

Heading back to dorm, see large crowd in front of dorm. Dominos Pizza lady carrying in stack of pizza and soda....drops some stuff everywhere..I tell her its mine and that I don't want dropped pizza and shaken soda.....eventually come clean....receives expected laughing and taunting.....Is Atomic Bitch in return....proceeds inside.

We notice her car is left unattended....running...windows open. Iowanian is dared to take the car for a lap, but wisely declines due to his intoxication, and another incident that year with dominoes that ended in broken bones and shooting by the delivery guy.

Did think it was a good idea to turn in off and pocket keys........

She comes out, realizes what happend...Throws nuclear Bitch fit.....Iowanian tosses bitch keys and goes to room.

Later, hear ruckus outside....campus safety is rodney kingin' a guy.......go outside and find out their taking him down for "stealing the pizza car".

I stepped in and said he didn't do it...why...because I did...yada yada yada.

6am..Iowanian awakend by bad on tit in face pulling him from top bunk.

Bullshit charges filed, Purgery by delivery chic.

County/city dropped quickly, campus being dicks......sent to campus jury thing first of next year.

The gal isn't there, the statement is total bullshit that never happened. Iowanian is honest about what happend, that it was a joke....Iowanian hit with Large mallet of Campus Douchebags.

Moral.
Never tell cops shit, make them prove everything. Honesty not the answer.

Not funny story, but lesson learned.

**Iowanian** · 01-15-2005, 02:51 PM

Some guys I knew(not really well) over a break thought it would be funny to pull one on the delivery guy....

Basically, when he walked up to their house, one jumped out of the bushes, grabbed the pizzas and took off running...while another jumped in the Dominomobile and started to drive away.

The delivery guy tackled the Hamburgler, breaking his ankle, pulled out his 9mm, bashed him in the brain, and unloaded it on his own car as it drove away.

I hate Dominos.

**KcMizzou** · 01-15-2005, 03:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iowanian

The delivery guy tackled the Hamburgler, breaking his ankle, pulled out his 9mm, bashed him in the brain, and unloaded it on his own car as it drove away.

I hate Dominos.

Good lord!

**Mr. Kotter** · 01-15-2005, 03:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ali Chi3fs

nice "story"... if that is what you call "it"

You are right; it was pathetic....

**Mr. Kotter** · 01-15-2005, 03:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ENDelt260

Good lord.... I'm pretty sure that story would've sucked without the abuse of bold and quotes.

Yeah, I remember it a lot better than it came across last night....the delivery sure sucked. My bad.

Calcountry · 01-15-2005, 03:23 PM

Well there were a lot of funny chit that went down, like the Ground Hogs day party. Then there was the gettin laid while our wing in the Dorm was having a Halloween Haunted house.

But the funniest thing was when some dumb drunkard like you Delt, pushed a sofa from the third floor window of our dorm lobby, and it smashed to smithereens on the floor. Luckily no one got hurt.

**Rain Man** · 01-15-2005, 03:31 PM

I liked jagerdrinker's story, for those of you who haven't read it.

Here's the most exciting story from my college days. In my freshman year, I was unused to seeing mature college women. In my chemistry class, I sat down, and then right next to me sat a woman who had a stunning, gravity-defying, Frank-Lloyd-Wright-cantilevering, 22 year-old, senior-class figure. I stared at her breasts so brazenly that she moved the next class period and stayed away from me thereafter.

My college years weren't very exciting, in retrospect.

**Iowanian** · 01-15-2005, 04:53 PM

This guy I know put green food coloring in the admin building fountain, and detergent in another time.

Tiiiiiiny Bubbles........

01-14-2005, 04:18 PM
ENDelt260 In Search of a Life Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: 85251 Casino cash: $8034900	. . Last edited by ENDelt260; 08-15-2023 at 09:45 PM..
Posts: 35,022

01-15-2005, 10:31 AM	#92
Baby Lee Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $6838598	Freshman week, a group of us got good and buzzed. My buddy walked into a school building, grabbed the fire extinguisher and sprayed all of us. Then his GF hopped a squat and pissed on the quad. No repurcussions. The wonder of going to school in a small town. Our weekly thing in band was to party our asses off Friday night, then mosey with our horns down to the practice field , where we'd have marching band runthrough at 7:00 am, lay down our coats, and go to sleep. We'd wake up when everyone else started arriving. Middle of Freshman year, we had the biggest 4 person dorm on campus. we decided to throw a blowout and the RAs busted us with about $500 in liquor sitting on our two coffee tables. Amazingly, no repurcussions outside of ditching the liquor. Junior year, went on a band trip and me and two of my buddies went batshit insane and split a 1.75 liter in about 1/2 an hour. Two hours later I had a girl hitting on me. Went to her hotel room. Started a 'little sumthin sumthin' with her roommates over on the over bed. Room started spinning, I hopped up, staggered to the bathroom, puked my guts out, and return to finish the deed. Never spoke to her again. A random party in the winter, a buddy finished his 20th beer, abruptly stood up, walked to the door, fell off the porch and started puking. Once done, he nonchalantly stood back up, and walked down the street with his head held high. Found him the next morning sitting in his car down the street, passed out, having pissed his drivers seat. __________________ We need the kind of courage that can withstand the subtle corruption of the cynics - E.W.
Posts: 95,642

01-15-2005, 11:02 AM	#95
teedubya Most Valuable Poster Join Date: Oct 2003 Casino cash: $9480002	So I hook up with this drunk chick at a bar on Mass St in Lawrence... too drunk to remember which bar... [I lived right across from Memorial Stadium on Mississippi...] anyway... I pick up this chick or rather she picks me up... and we go back to her house on 11th-ish and Tennessee. I lived 11th & Miss... but whatever, we go to her house, since we wer both walking... it was much closer. Apparently she lived with her boyfriend, but didnt bother to tell me that. We get to her house, I have to take a piss... so I go to her bathroom and she comes in... and watches me piss. Well after I get done pissing, and not fully shaken dry, if I recall... she gets on her knees and starts sucking me off. Well she comes up and wants to kiss me... I obviously aint having any of that, Miss Pissmouth. But we start **ing in her bathroom... on the counter in the bathroom. Well she has a curling iron on the counter and she left it on before going drinking, apparently cuz when we were having sex, I picked her up and was holding her legs while standing up going deep... well as I orgasm, I sit her ass on the counter and she burns her ass on the curling iron... Well apparently her boyfriend is home. She is screaming about her ass... He is yelling from the other room and asking if everything was "okay, honey". I shot my load so I get my pants up... I am kinda shocked to hear another dude in the house and ask who it is... her boyfriend. I ask her if she is a ing idiot...well he comes to the bathroom door and opens it, since it is not locked. Well instinct takes over... I pop the dude with leftjab to the sternum and a right hook to the throat, push the dude down and get the ** out of the house, and run up 11th on my way home. Well i notice that I dont have my keys... Luckily when I would go out, I would only take my house key on a jayhawk key ring... so, I cant get into my house. And I have to walk about 3 miles to my buddys house and crashout over there. What a fiasco. Interestingly enough, I didnt stumble across the ho or the boyfriend ever again.
Posts: 36,652

01-15-2005, 01:22 PM	#97
Iowanian Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia Casino cash: $4758454	Freshman year, some galpals thought it would be a good idea to start a prank war with Iowanian and his roomate. bad Idea. They broke into our dorm, destroyed it, took my piggy bank and our VCR. Everything upside down or on the floor. We had another galpal on their floor who taped their door latch for us. While they are in class, we go up to their room, dump their "unmentionables" drawers into their pillow cases, leave a note that All of the missing contents could be found at Center Court of the Gym on the bearcat. We also put a brown paper bag, labeld "free brownies" in their refrigerator. The only problem was that while the ingredients included peanuts.....the body was a large Iowani-turd. That pretty much ended it.
Posts: 61,531

01-15-2005, 01:31 PM	#98
Iowanian Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia Casino cash: $4758454	End of Freshman year...day before Finals. Iowanian and friends get pretty shitfaced in the afternoon. Heading back to dorm, see large crowd in front of dorm. Dominos Pizza lady carrying in stack of pizza and soda....drops some stuff everywhere..I tell her its mine and that I don't want dropped pizza and shaken soda.....eventually come clean....receives expected laughing and taunting.....Is Atomic Bitch in return....proceeds inside. We notice her car is left unattended....running...windows open. Iowanian is dared to take the car for a lap, but wisely declines due to his intoxication, and another incident that year with dominoes that ended in broken bones and shooting by the delivery guy. Did think it was a good idea to turn in off and pocket keys........ She comes out, realizes what happend...Throws nuclear Bitch fit.....Iowanian tosses bitch keys and goes to room. Later, hear ruckus outside....campus safety is rodney kingin' a guy.......go outside and find out their taking him down for "stealing the pizza car". I stepped in and said he didn't do it...why...because I did...yada yada yada. 6am..Iowanian awakend by bad on tit in face pulling him from top bunk. Bullshit charges filed, Purgery by delivery chic. County/city dropped quickly, campus being dicks......sent to campus jury thing first of next year. The gal isn't there, the statement is total bullshit that never happened. Iowanian is honest about what happend, that it was a joke....Iowanian hit with Large mallet of Campus Douchebags. Moral. Never tell cops shit, make them prove everything. Honesty not the answer. Not funny story, but lesson learned.
Posts: 61,531

01-15-2005, 02:51 PM	#99
Iowanian Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia Casino cash: $4758454	Some guys I knew(not really well) over a break thought it would be funny to pull one on the delivery guy.... Basically, when he walked up to their house, one jumped out of the bushes, grabbed the pizzas and took off running...while another jumped in the Dominomobile and started to drive away. The delivery guy tackled the Hamburgler, breaking his ankle, pulled out his 9mm, bashed him in the brain, and unloaded it on his own car as it drove away. I hate Dominos.
Posts: 61,531

01-15-2005, 03:23 PM	#103
Calcountry Shoot the tube Join Date: Oct 2003 Casino cash: $8721645	Well there were a lot of funny chit that went down, like the Ground Hogs day party. Then there was the gettin laid while our wing in the Dorm was having a Halloween Haunted house. But the funniest thing was when some dumb drunkard like you Delt, pushed a sofa from the third floor window of our dorm lobby, and it smashed to smithereens on the floor. Luckily no one got hurt.
Posts: 28,250

01-15-2005, 03:31 PM	#104
Rain Man NFL's #1 Ermines Fan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $3318491 VARSITY	I liked jagerdrinker's story, for those of you who haven't read it. Here's the most exciting story from my college days. In my freshman year, I was unused to seeing mature college women. In my chemistry class, I sat down, and then right next to me sat a woman who had a stunning, gravity-defying, Frank-Lloyd-Wright-cantilevering, 22 year-old, senior-class figure. I stared at her breasts so brazenly that she moved the next class period and stayed away from me thereafter. My college years weren't very exciting, in retrospect. __________________ I'm putting random letters here as a celebration of free speech: xigrakgrah misorojeq rkemeseit.
Posts: 141,428

01-15-2005, 04:53 PM	#105
Iowanian Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia Casino cash: $4758454	This guy I know put green food coloring in the admin building fountain, and detergent in another time. Tiiiiiiny Bubbles........
Posts: 61,531