Life The most important one-sentence piece of advice you've ever received. - Page 13

Direckshun · 03-09-2013, 09:10 PM

One sentence. Sometimes it's hysterical, irrelevent, or whatever.

It lingered in you, and it shapes who you are most days.

Share it with us, so that we too may swim in its terse wisdom.

kappa72202 · 03-11-2013, 11:12 AM

Don't sweat the petty stuff and don't pet the sweaty stuff!!

**Saul Good** · 03-11-2013, 11:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChiefButthurt

If Mama ain't happy, ain't no one happy. ~~Me and millions of other married guys

Never shake another guys hand with a limp fish. Always try to break his ****ing hand. ~~My Dad

Your dad is a reerun. Nothing worse than some douche who thinks a handshake is supposed to be a cage fight.

CanadaKC · 03-11-2013, 11:38 AM

as soon as your child is born...your life changes overnight

tomahawk kid · 03-11-2013, 11:49 AM

Remember, every time you see a beautiful woman there's a man somewhere that's sick of her sh*t.

OldNewb · 03-11-2013, 12:17 PM

My Air Force basic training instructor: "Airman....how in the f--k did the sperm that created you...beat out the other million?" That woke me up and got me through boot camp.

My dad: "Son...if the risk is higher than the reward, don't do it." Used that one on my kids, as well.

frankotank · 03-11-2013, 12:23 PM

don't try to PIIHB if she's still sober.

**KC Dan** · 03-11-2013, 12:25 PM

Those that can - do. Those that can't - teach

Sully · 03-11-2013, 12:30 PM

Sounds stupid, but makes a lot of sense to me in down times...

"Ain't nothin' made of gold."

Xanathol · 03-11-2013, 12:35 PM

Pull out.

**Iowanian** · 03-11-2013, 12:46 PM

In HS I worked at a grocery store for a couple of years.
During that time, I had a buddy who used his lunch breaks as conjugal visits with a clerk for a couple of weeks. Usually in the ice cream freezer.

One day he said
"If you ever *have sexual relations* in the freezer, don't let your ball sack touch the ice cream cart"

Yes....I think he'd frozen his pill bag to the metal cart like a tongue on a flag pole.

Wasn't advice I've needed often, but I'd say that is pretty good advice.

**notorious** · 03-11-2013, 12:50 PM

"Believe half of what you see, and nothing that you hear."

Good ol' Dad.

durtyrute · 03-11-2013, 12:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kappa72202

Don't sweat the petty stuff and don't pet the sweaty stuff!!

I was coming in here to post that.

KCSPORTSNUT · 03-11-2013, 12:56 PM

CAN'T MEANS WON'T

shitgoose · 03-11-2013, 01:03 PM

"Nothing is free"

"You can't bullshit a bullshitter"

"If it ain't broke don't fix it"

and my personal favorite...

"Never pet a burning dog"

King_Chief_Fan · 03-11-2013, 01:04 PM

In God we trust

all others, cash

03-09-2013, 09:10 PM
Direckshun __ Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Springpatch Casino cash: $4283447	The most important one-sentence piece of advice you've ever received. One sentence. Sometimes it's hysterical, irrelevent, or whatever. It lingered in you, and it shapes who you are most days. Share it with us, so that we too may swim in its terse wisdom.
Posts: 59,295

03-11-2013, 11:12 AM	#181
kappa72202 Starter Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Little Rock, AR Casino cash: $8239112	Don't sweat the petty stuff and don't pet the sweaty stuff!!
Posts: 85

03-11-2013, 11:38 AM	#183
CanadaKC Lord of the SB Rings Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Vancouver, B.C. Canada Casino cash: $6558668	as soon as your child is born...your life changes overnight
Posts: 1,505

03-11-2013, 11:49 AM	#184
tomahawk kid Drunk in the Neighborhood Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Beating the War Drums Casino cash: $10001837	Remember, every time you see a beautiful woman there's a man somewhere that's sick of her sh*t.
Posts: 5,974

03-11-2013, 12:17 PM	#185
OldNewb Rookie Join Date: Feb 2012 Casino cash: $10004900	My Air Force basic training instructor: "Airman....how in the f--k did the sperm that created you...beat out the other million?" That woke me up and got me through boot camp. My dad: "Son...if the risk is higher than the reward, don't do it." Used that one on my kids, as well.
Posts: 13

03-11-2013, 12:23 PM	#186
frankotank I like 'em mustard & biscuits Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: The Hill Casino cash: $10011076	don't try to PIIHB if she's still sober. __________________ A naked American man stole my balloons.
Posts: 6,787

03-11-2013, 12:25 PM	#187
KC Dan Red, White & Blue for the U.S. Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: The Great Northwest now.. Casino cash: $1504235	Those that can - do. Those that can't - teach __________________ "And if you don't know where you're going Any road will take you there" - George Harrison
Posts: 6,994

03-11-2013, 12:30 PM	#188
Sully It Goes On Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Lees Summit Casino cash: $10026331	Sounds stupid, but makes a lot of sense to me in down times... "Ain't nothin' made of gold." __________________ "And I don't wish that girl any bad luck," he said, "but I hope she gets hit with a car." - Tommy Lasorda
Posts: 18,295

03-11-2013, 12:35 PM	#189
Xanathol Starter Join Date: Mar 2011 Casino cash: $9528791	Pull out.
Posts: 689

03-11-2013, 12:46 PM	#190
Iowanian Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia Casino cash: $4708454	In HS I worked at a grocery store for a couple of years. During that time, I had a buddy who used his lunch breaks as conjugal visits with a clerk for a couple of weeks. Usually in the ice cream freezer. One day he said "If you ever have sexual relations in the freezer, don't let your ball sack touch the ice cream cart" Yes....I think he'd frozen his pill bag to the metal cart like a tongue on a flag pole. Wasn't advice I've needed often, but I'd say that is pretty good advice.
Posts: 61,540

03-11-2013, 12:50 PM	#191
notorious Supporter Join Date: May 2005 Location: Who knows? Casino cash: $2815884	"Believe half of what you see, and nothing that you hear." Good ol' Dad.
Posts: 83,460

03-11-2013, 12:56 PM	#193
KCSPORTSNUT Starter Join Date: Dec 2012 Location: Northwest Missouri Casino cash: $10004900	CAN'T MEANS WON'T
Posts: 52

03-11-2013, 01:03 PM	#194
shitgoose Veteran Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Wichita Casino cash: $4222833	"Nothing is free" "You can't bullshit a bullshitter" "If it ain't broke don't fix it" and my personal favorite... "Never pet a burning dog" __________________
Posts: 1,640

03-11-2013, 01:04 PM	#195
King_Chief_Fan Praise Him Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: none ya Casino cash: $5885486	In God we trust all others, cash __________________ No Jesus No Peace Know Jesus Know Peace Ephesians 2:8-10 English Standard Version (ESV) 8 For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, 9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast. 10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.
Posts: 12,181