Life -- 10 virtually instant ways to improve your life

Simply Red · 11-25-2011, 07:06 PM

http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lif...your-life.html

10 virtually instant ways to improve your life

July 16 by Guest Author | 195 comments | Featured, Lifestyle | Tags: habit, improvement, life

Many of our problems come from within our own minds. They aren’t caused by events, bad luck, or other people. We cause them through our own poor mental habits. Here are 10 habits you should set aside right away to free yourself from the many problems each one will be causing you.

The 10 ways:
Stop jumping to conclusions. There are two common ways this habit increases people’s difficulties. First, they assume that they know what is going to happen, so they stop paying attention and act on their assumption instead. Human beings are lousy fortune-tellers. Most of what they assume is wrong. That makes the action wrong too. The second aspect of this habit is playing the mind-reader and assuming you know why people do what they do or what they’re thinking. Wrong again, big time. More relationships are destroyed by this particular kind of stupidity than by any other.

Don’t dramatize. Lots of people inflate small setbacks into life-threatening catastrophes and react accordingly. This habit makes mountains out of molehills and gives people anxieties that either don’t exist or are so insignificant they aren’t worth worrying about anyway. Why do they do it? Who knows? Maybe to make themselves feel and seem more important. Whatever the reason, it’s silly as well as destructive.

Don’t invent rules. A huge proportion of those “oughts” and “shoulds” that you carry around are most likely needless. All that they do for you is make you feel nervous or guilty. What’s the point? When you use these imaginary rules on yourself, you clog your mind with petty restrictions and childish orders. And when you try to impose them on others, you make yourself into a bully, a boring nag, or a self-righteous bigot.

Avoid stereotyping or labeling people or situations. The words you use can trip you up. Negative and critical language produces the same flavor of thinking. Forcing things into pre-set categories hides their real meaning and limits your thinking to no purpose. See what’s there. Don’t label. You’ll be surprised at what you find.

Quit being a perfectionist. Life isn’t all or nothing, black or white. Many times, good enough means exactly what it says. Search for the perfect job and you’ll likely never find it. Meanwhile, all the others will look worse than they are. Try for the perfect relationship and you’ll probably spend your life alone. Perfectionism is a mental sickness that will destroy all your pleasure and send you in search of what can never be attained.

Don’t over-generalize. One or two setbacks are not a sign of permanent failure. The odd triumph doesn’t turn you into a genius. A single event—good or bad—or even two or three don’t always point to a lasting trend. Usually things are just what they are, nothing more.

Don’t take things so personally. Most people, even your friends and colleagues, aren’t talking about you, thinking about you, or concerned with you at all for 99% of the time. The majority of folk in your organization or neighborhood have probably never heard of you and don’t especially want to. The ups and downs of life, the warmth and coldness of others, aren’t personal at all. Pretending that they are will only make you more miserable than is needed.

Don’t assume your emotions are trustworthy. How you feel isn’t always a good indicator of how things are. Just because you feel it, that doesn’t make it true. Sometimes that emotion comes from nothing more profound than being tired, hungry, annoyed, or about to get a head-cold. The future won’t change because you feel bad—nor because you feel great. Feelings may be true, but they aren’t the truth.

Don’t let life get you down. Keep practicing being optimistic. If you expect bad things in your life and work, you’ll always find them. A negative mind-set is like looking at the world through distorting, grimy lenses. You spot every blemish and overlook or discount everything else. It’s amazing what isn’t there until you start to look for it. Of course, if you decide to look for signs of positive things, you’ll find those too.

Don’t hang on to the past. This is my most important suggestion of all: let go and move on. Most of the anger, frustration, misery, and despair in this world come from people clinging to past hurts and problems. The more you turn them over in your mind, the worse you’ll feel and the bigger they’ll look. Don’t try to fight misery. Let go and move on. Do that and you’ve removed just about all its power to hurt you.

Adrian Savage is a writer, an Englishman, and a retired business executive, in that order, who now lives in Tucson, Arizona. You can read his other articles at Slow Leadership, the site for everyone who wants to build a civilized place to work and bring back the taste, zest and satisfaction to leadership and life. Recent articles there on similar topics include How to save yourself from being hooked again and Why fear of failure is the most common blockage to success. Adrian’s latest book, Slow Leadership: Civilizing The Organization, is now available at all good bookstores.

**Bowser** · 11-25-2011, 07:09 PM

Excellent advice, all of it.

Simply Red · 11-25-2011, 07:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bowser

Excellent advice, all of it.

I'm going to work on this - read it daily, and obey it, not like a religion, but more like a mental workout.

threebag · 11-25-2011, 07:17 PM

You forgot throw out all your Moby music.

**cabletech94** · 11-25-2011, 07:19 PM

can't. read. without. bulletpoints.

must. jump. to. conclusion.

tredadda · 11-25-2011, 07:20 PM

11. Don't hope the Chiefs or Royals win a playoff game anytime soon.

Hammock Parties · 11-25-2011, 07:21 PM

Sign Kyle Orton.

KurtCobain · 11-25-2011, 07:21 PM

You know what sr? So am I! I'm about to write this down on paper. Thankyou, bud.
Posted via Mobile Device

Simply Red · 11-25-2011, 07:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KurtCobain

You know what sr? So am I! I'm about to write this down on paper. Thankyou, bud.
Posted via Mobile Device

That's great. Thanks for the feedback,.

But srsly - glad you like it, Joey.

whoman69 · 11-25-2011, 07:27 PM

You have some rules to improve your life and one of them is don't invent rules.

Simply Red · 11-25-2011, 07:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by whoman69

You have some rules to improve your life and one of them is don't invent rules.

It's really time you start leading with your heart, please.

headsnap · 11-25-2011, 07:46 PM

#11. Stop wasting time on StumbleUpon.com.

Simply Red · 11-25-2011, 08:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by headsnap

#11. Stop wasting time on StumbleUpon.com

so critique Amazon from an appearance and 'user-friendly' standpt....

Good? Great website?

**sd4chiefs** · 11-25-2011, 08:02 PM

All of these rules are broken everyday on the D.C. Forum.

Sure-Oz · 11-25-2011, 08:04 PM

Excellent read

11-25-2011, 07:06 PM
Simply Red You Sweetie! Join Date: Sep 2005 Casino cash: $2021206219 VARSITY	-- 10 virtually instant ways to improve your life http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lif...your-life.html 10 virtually instant ways to improve your life July 16 by Guest Author \| 195 comments \| Featured, Lifestyle \| Tags: habit, improvement, life Many of our problems come from within our own minds. They aren’t caused by events, bad luck, or other people. We cause them through our own poor mental habits. Here are 10 habits you should set aside right away to free yourself from the many problems each one will be causing you. The 10 ways: Stop jumping to conclusions. There are two common ways this habit increases people’s difficulties. First, they assume that they know what is going to happen, so they stop paying attention and act on their assumption instead. Human beings are lousy fortune-tellers. Most of what they assume is wrong. That makes the action wrong too. The second aspect of this habit is playing the mind-reader and assuming you know why people do what they do or what they’re thinking. Wrong again, big time. More relationships are destroyed by this particular kind of stupidity than by any other. Don’t dramatize. Lots of people inflate small setbacks into life-threatening catastrophes and react accordingly. This habit makes mountains out of molehills and gives people anxieties that either don’t exist or are so insignificant they aren’t worth worrying about anyway. Why do they do it? Who knows? Maybe to make themselves feel and seem more important. Whatever the reason, it’s silly as well as destructive. Don’t invent rules. A huge proportion of those “oughts” and “shoulds” that you carry around are most likely needless. All that they do for you is make you feel nervous or guilty. What’s the point? When you use these imaginary rules on yourself, you clog your mind with petty restrictions and childish orders. And when you try to impose them on others, you make yourself into a bully, a boring nag, or a self-righteous bigot. Avoid stereotyping or labeling people or situations. The words you use can trip you up. Negative and critical language produces the same flavor of thinking. Forcing things into pre-set categories hides their real meaning and limits your thinking to no purpose. See what’s there. Don’t label. You’ll be surprised at what you find. Quit being a perfectionist. Life isn’t all or nothing, black or white. Many times, good enough means exactly what it says. Search for the perfect job and you’ll likely never find it. Meanwhile, all the others will look worse than they are. Try for the perfect relationship and you’ll probably spend your life alone. Perfectionism is a mental sickness that will destroy all your pleasure and send you in search of what can never be attained. Don’t over-generalize. One or two setbacks are not a sign of permanent failure. The odd triumph doesn’t turn you into a genius. A single event—good or bad—or even two or three don’t always point to a lasting trend. Usually things are just what they are, nothing more. Don’t take things so personally. Most people, even your friends and colleagues, aren’t talking about you, thinking about you, or concerned with you at all for 99% of the time. The majority of folk in your organization or neighborhood have probably never heard of you and don’t especially want to. The ups and downs of life, the warmth and coldness of others, aren’t personal at all. Pretending that they are will only make you more miserable than is needed. Don’t assume your emotions are trustworthy. How you feel isn’t always a good indicator of how things are. Just because you feel it, that doesn’t make it true. Sometimes that emotion comes from nothing more profound than being tired, hungry, annoyed, or about to get a head-cold. The future won’t change because you feel bad—nor because you feel great. Feelings may be true, but they aren’t the truth. Don’t let life get you down. Keep practicing being optimistic. If you expect bad things in your life and work, you’ll always find them. A negative mind-set is like looking at the world through distorting, grimy lenses. You spot every blemish and overlook or discount everything else. It’s amazing what isn’t there until you start to look for it. Of course, if you decide to look for signs of positive things, you’ll find those too. Don’t hang on to the past. This is my most important suggestion of all: let go and move on. Most of the anger, frustration, misery, and despair in this world come from people clinging to past hurts and problems. The more you turn them over in your mind, the worse you’ll feel and the bigger they’ll look. Don’t try to fight misery. Let go and move on. Do that and you’ve removed just about all its power to hurt you. Adrian Savage is a writer, an Englishman, and a retired business executive, in that order, who now lives in Tucson, Arizona. You can read his other articles at Slow Leadership, the site for everyone who wants to build a civilized place to work and bring back the taste, zest and satisfaction to leadership and life. Recent articles there on similar topics include How to save yourself from being hooked again and Why fear of failure is the most common blockage to success. Adrian’s latest book, Slow Leadership: Civilizing The Organization, is now available at all good bookstores.
Posts: 71,691

11-25-2011, 07:09 PM	#2
Bowser sorta mod-ish Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: KC North Casino cash: $3371616	Excellent advice, all of it.
Posts: 100,816

11-25-2011, 07:17 PM	#4
threebag Snacks Are Under My Apron Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: The Edge Casino cash: $2981660	You forgot throw out all your Moby music. __________________ Free DeBerg HayWire Greatest Mod Ever In big nasty kcnut we trust
Posts: 23,870

11-25-2011, 07:19 PM	#5
cabletech94 Everything is Awesome!!!!! Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: The Pitt Casino cash: $2026805	can't. read. without. bulletpoints. must. jump. to. conclusion.
Posts: 10,895

11-25-2011, 07:20 PM	#6
tredadda Three-Pat Join Date: May 2011 Location: Colorado Springs Casino cash: $1795053	11. Don't hope the Chiefs or Royals win a playoff game anytime soon.
Posts: 17,074

11-25-2011, 07:21 PM	#7
Hammock Parties I'll be back. Join Date: Nov 2002 Casino cash: $4640478	Sign Kyle Orton. __________________ Chiefs game films
Posts: 278,097

11-25-2011, 07:21 PM	#8
KurtCobain legend Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Independence, MO Casino cash: $-1607903	You know what sr? So am I! I'm about to write this down on paper. Thankyou, bud. Posted via Mobile Device
Posts: 28,374

11-25-2011, 07:46 PM	#12
headsnap "Think ZOOM!" Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Space Station #5 Casino cash: $1857236	#11. Stop wasting time on StumbleUpon.com.
Posts: 18,394

11-25-2011, 08:02 PM	#14
sd4chiefs error 404 Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Bizarro World Casino cash: $8820445	All of these rules are broken everyday on the D.C. Forum. __________________ “It's Easier to Fool People Than It Is to Convince Them That They Have Been Fooled.” – Mark Twain.
Posts: 3,982