Catricide

Zebedee DuBois · 08-03-2005, 06:03 PM

I want to commit catracide.

We have a cat that thinks outside the box too often. I don't think this animal has any redeeming characteristics. It is afraid of the outdoors. It is afraid of mice. It might beat up on a cricket. It considers the litter box as just one of many options. It needs to die.

Of course, there are other family members that seem to think the cat is cute.

Thus, I need to find a way to dispatch the cat and yet have it look like natural causes, or at least like I didn't have anything to do with it's demise. That means the corpse can't be mutilated or wet...and I can't have any incriminating scratch marks. If I could do the deed, and then leave the body on the stairs or somewhere for someone else to discover....that should dispell suspicions.

I've thought of putting her in a cooler and displacing the air with nitrogen or some other gas.

Any ideas?

For those of you that have tender feelings for felines, pretend I said "Bronco lover".

Any ideas?

Nightfyre · 08-03-2005, 06:05 PM

aspirin

Frosty · 08-03-2005, 06:09 PM

anti-freeze

Zebedee DuBois · 08-03-2005, 06:14 PM

I don't think aspirin would work. The cat is a finicky eater. She wouldn't just eat an aspirin sitting in the food dish. Forcing the aspirin down her throat would likely leave claw marks on my forearms.

While anit-freeze may be tempting to her, I would have to leave it somewhere for her to find and consume. That kind of activity may be detected by other household members since anti-freeze has a distinctive odor.

Let's get your subversive thinking caps on.

Adept Havelock · 08-03-2005, 06:17 PM

If your going to kill it, at least have the balls to admit it to your family.

Coward.

**Dartgod** · 08-03-2005, 06:18 PM

Zebedee DuBois · 08-03-2005, 06:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dartgod

That doesn't work, seemingly.

Frosty · 08-03-2005, 06:26 PM

If the cat is an indoor cat, maybe it can "accidently" get out while everyone else is gone and disappear.

It could end up at the pound or something (and have a chance with some other family, maybe, unless PETA kills it first). No body means less grief and the family will eventually get tired of waiting for it to show up.

ct · 08-04-2005, 11:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by arc

... No body means less grief and the family will eventually get tired of waiting for it to show up.

You ever been to Aruba?

DenverChief · 08-03-2005, 06:28 PM

it can't be that bad?

stumppy · 08-03-2005, 06:29 PM

Just lock it in the garage with the car running. Or any type of enclosure and pipe some exhaust gas in. Just do it when nobody is home. After it has assumed room temperature just take it in the house and lay it down all curled up in it's favorite spot to sleep.

If you would like to introduce intense pain into the deed let me know.

**Skip Towne** · 08-03-2005, 07:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stumppy

Just lock it in the garage with the car running. Or any type of enclosure and pipe some exhaust gas in. Just do it when nobody is home. After it has assumed room temperature just take it in the house and lay it down all curled up in it's favorite spot to sleep.

If you would like to introduce intense pain into the deed let me know.

You've done this before haven't you?

Zebedee DuBois · 08-03-2005, 06:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Adept Havelock

If your going to kill it, at least have the balls to admit it to your family.

Coward.

You're new at the whole "family dynamics" thing, aren't you?

chagrin · 08-03-2005, 06:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Adept Havelock

If your going to kill it, at least have the balls to admit it to your family.

Coward.

You are probably just kidding, trying to get a rise out of people.

HOWEVER,

On the off chance that you really plan on doing this, own up to it at least.

bogie · 08-03-2005, 06:27 PM

If you're serious, you suck! I'm not necessarily a cat lover but to kill a family pet because it is an inconvenience is just wrong. When your family discovers it's dead aren't they going to be heart broken? Doesn't that matter to you? I repeat, you suck.

08-03-2005, 06:03 PM	Topic Starter
Zebedee DuBois Veteran Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: floating in a tin can Casino cash: $1865199	Catricide I want to commit catracide. We have a cat that thinks outside the box too often. I don't think this animal has any redeeming characteristics. It is afraid of the outdoors. It is afraid of mice. It might beat up on a cricket. It considers the litter box as just one of many options. It needs to die. Of course, there are other family members that seem to think the cat is cute. Thus, I need to find a way to dispatch the cat and yet have it look like natural causes, or at least like I didn't have anything to do with it's demise. That means the corpse can't be mutilated or wet...and I can't have any incriminating scratch marks. If I could do the deed, and then leave the body on the stairs or somewhere for someone else to discover....that should dispell suspicions. I've thought of putting her in a cooler and displacing the air with nitrogen or some other gas. Any ideas? For those of you that have tender feelings for felines, pretend I said "Bronco lover". Any ideas?
Posts: 3,753

08-03-2005, 06:05 PM	#2
Nightfyre MVP Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Helena, MT Casino cash: $3618849	aspirin
Posts: 18,553

08-03-2005, 06:09 PM	#3
Frosty Go Beavers! Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Warshington Casino cash: $5658243	anti-freeze
Posts: 14,500

08-03-2005, 06:14 PM	#4
Zebedee DuBois Veteran Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: floating in a tin can Casino cash: $1865199	I don't think aspirin would work. The cat is a finicky eater. She wouldn't just eat an aspirin sitting in the food dish. Forcing the aspirin down her throat would likely leave claw marks on my forearms. While anit-freeze may be tempting to her, I would have to leave it somewhere for her to find and consume. That kind of activity may be detected by other household members since anti-freeze has a distinctive odor. Let's get your subversive thinking caps on. __________________ What am I even doing here?
Posts: 3,753

08-03-2005, 06:17 PM	#5
Adept Havelock Obligatory Thoughtcriminal Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Flux,awaiting an observer Casino cash: $10004900	If your going to kill it, at least have the balls to admit it to your family. Coward.
Posts: 14,305

08-03-2005, 06:18 PM	#6
Dartgod Wasted away again... Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: in Margaritaville Casino cash: $7380000	__________________ If you shed a tear for me, please make it a tear of joy. -Joe Tracy (Nzoner) . .
Posts: 51,124

08-03-2005, 06:26 PM	#8
Frosty Go Beavers! Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Warshington Casino cash: $5658243	If the cat is an indoor cat, maybe it can "accidently" get out while everyone else is gone and disappear. It could end up at the pound or something (and have a chance with some other family, maybe, unless PETA kills it first). No body means less grief and the family will eventually get tired of waiting for it to show up.
Posts: 14,500

08-03-2005, 06:28 PM	#10
DenverChief MVP Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Rocky Ford Casino cash: $5929867	it can't be that bad?
Posts: 16,154

08-03-2005, 06:29 PM	#11
stumppy New and Improved Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Springfield, Mo. Casino cash: $1468590	Just lock it in the garage with the car running. Or any type of enclosure and pipe some exhaust gas in. Just do it when nobody is home. After it has assumed room temperature just take it in the house and lay it down all curled up in it's favorite spot to sleep. If you would like to introduce intense pain into the deed let me know. __________________ “As a nation, we can endure damaging policies for a four-year term. But we cannot survive a president willing to terminate our Constitution”
Posts: 21,116

08-03-2005, 06:27 PM	#15
bogie West Coast Chief Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: california Casino cash: $10004900	If you're serious, you suck! I'm not necessarily a cat lover but to kill a family pet because it is an inconvenience is just wrong. When your family discovers it's dead aren't they going to be heart broken? Doesn't that matter to you? I repeat, you suck.
Posts: 3,562