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View Poll Results: How Should I Disqualify Myself From Jury Duty | |||
When they call out your name, get up and sing the Star Spangled Banner | 0 | 0% | |
Keep insisting you get a smoke break every three minutes | 1 | 6.67% | |
Tell them you see absolutely nothing wrong with murder over and over | 0 | 0% | |
Pretend you're deaf | 0 | 0% | |
Appear at the summons dressed as a member of Kiss | 4 | 26.67% | |
Raise your hand every few minutes and when they call on you act like you don't know what they're talking about | 2 | 13.33% | |
Be yourself: Show up drunk | 2 | 13.33% | |
Fart real loud and blame it on the judge | 1 | 6.67% | |
Tell the judge you used to date his mother | 2 | 13.33% | |
You're name is Gaz | 3 | 20.00% | |
Voters: 15. You may not vote on this poll |
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02-20-2006, 10:52 AM | #2 |
When a nightmare becomes real
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Just say you are prejudice against all races.
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02-20-2006, 10:55 AM | #3 |
Smokin
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Tell them that you believe strongly in the death penalty, and that a person stealing a candy bar should have their hand cut off.
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F.O.C.U.S sportsshrink: Don't bite the hand that feeds you!!!! "We the Fans" feed you Morons!! |
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02-20-2006, 10:55 AM | #4 |
Playing for #1 Draft Pick
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Also any hang 'em fry 'em remark works.
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sig test for this screwy schema |
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02-20-2006, 10:56 AM | #5 |
Superbowl MVP
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Talk about how you commited a simliar crime and got away with it
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02-20-2006, 11:00 AM | #6 |
Supporter
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Tell 'em you don't need to hear the evidence. You can spot a criminal a mile away.
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02-20-2006, 11:02 AM | #7 |
Supporter
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How about doing your civic duty, ensure a fair verdict for the accused?
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02-20-2006, 11:03 AM | #8 |
Pissed off now Joboo
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Tell them you went to school with the defendent and thought he was a real prick back then.
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Bluto: Christ. Seven years of college down the drain. Might as well join the f_cking Peace Corps |
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02-20-2006, 11:03 AM | #9 |
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Just state that you want to kill them all and let god sort'em out.
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02-20-2006, 11:04 AM | #10 |
Giggitty!
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I have always liked to use this one:
Defense Attorney: "Do you think that just because a person is accused of a crime, they are guilty?" "Absolutely, let's be real here ma'am/sir; if the defendant wasn't guilty they wouldn't be here, would they?" Or you can jst sit there and stare directly at the defendant while they question the other potential jurors.
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Times have changed, so have I, things are better now. |
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02-20-2006, 11:05 AM | #11 | |
When a nightmare becomes real
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Quote:
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02-20-2006, 11:05 AM | #12 |
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I'm off to waste my time there tomorrow. I'm sure as soon as they hear my profession, I'll get a thanks and a 'don't let the door. . . ' But the legislature, in their infinite wisdom, are no longer letting folks like me give an out.
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02-20-2006, 11:08 AM | #13 | |
Learn it. Know it. Live it.
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Quote:
If that wasn't bad enough, they mail you a check six weeks after you've completed jury duty. At least that's what it says on the summons.
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02-20-2006, 11:09 AM | #14 | |
Supporter
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Quote:
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02-20-2006, 11:12 AM | #15 |
Run Chiefs fans, run!!
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Tell them you like to stab judges in the face.
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