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View Poll Results: Did you seek father's permission/blessing?
Yes, it is a tradition I wanted to keep 42 27.10%
Yes, it is a tradition I knew spouse's family wanted to keep 19 12.26%
No 78 50.32%
I've never proposed 16 10.32%
Voters: 155. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 01-16-2013, 10:43 AM  
Jenson71 Jenson71 is offline
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Married members: Did you seek permission/blessing?
Just wondering what the practice/custom is.
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Old 01-16-2013, 10:56 AM   #16
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Old 01-16-2013, 10:56 AM   #17
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What a shitty dowry gift!!!
I also got a goat and 2 head of cattle?
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Old 01-16-2013, 10:57 AM   #18
tomahawk kid tomahawk kid is offline
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Yes - be a man and show some respect.
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Old 01-16-2013, 10:57 AM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by loochy View Post
I also got a goat and 2 head of cattle?
Just the head's, that's cool.
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Old 01-16-2013, 10:58 AM   #20
seclark seclark is offline
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Originally Posted by ChiTown View Post
- that had to be a great conversation.

sec: Excuse me, Mr. Buford Pusser, I would like to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage.

Mr. Pusser: Hand, my ass! You've already stolt her 'giner! (Runs for his gun.....)
wasn't fun...one time he pulled the hat off my head, tossed it up in the air and shot a hole through it w/a .22 rifle. he picked it up off the ground and handed it back to me, not saying a word.

and this was 3 years prior to our "engagement".
sec
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Old 01-16-2013, 10:59 AM   #21
loochy loochy is offline
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Just the head's, that's cool.
i make barbacoa
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Old 01-16-2013, 10:59 AM   #22
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No. I kind of felt bad about it in retrospect, but my wife's parents lived 8 hours away at the time and I barely knew her dad. If I had lived near them, I probably would've.
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Old 01-16-2013, 11:04 AM   #23
Jenson71 Jenson71 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tomahawk kid View Post
Yes - be a man and show some respect.
I'm not going to do it. I know the tradition stems more out of respect towards the family than its original purpose (prevent the legal claim of seduction against the proposer), but I think it's the woman's choice.
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Old 01-16-2013, 11:04 AM   #24
Dayze Dayze is offline
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Originally Posted by loochy View Post
Does he wear large collared shirts with too many buttons unbuttoned with bushy black chest hair poofing out? Does he have slicked back black hair? Does he wear brown faded sunglasses?
lol
No; but I swear to god, his brother's house, in their dining room, they have a black laquered table, black laqured hutch thinky; and everything has gold on it.

at our wedding when we were taking our pictures in this nice park - everyone was sort of gathered around, mingling etc

he dad rolls up and parks in a handicap spot. he's not handicapped, I said (name witheld)"hey....I think you parked in a handicapped spot. and he says "oh, so I did". reaches into his glove box and pulls out a handicap placard and hangs it from his mirror. lol

His grandmother, how was like 95 - and his since passed sadly - always donned a jet black wig. His brother and him would talk football etc, and they'd be swearing back and forth. His mom slaps him in the arm (which was a weaky, 90 old woman slap), looks up to the ceiling and does the holy cross thingy on her chest. Followed by both of them "Sorry, Ma"

the first Thanksgiving I attended, it was nothing but basta (which is what they call it apparently) and sugo; bread, meatballs, stuffed artichokes, lassagna, stuffed shells, meatsauce....just a HUGE spread of italian food. and I swear, the 'turkey' was like the size of a game hen/small chicken lol..which no one touched.

The first time I met her cousin, he was friendly; about my age. we start talking, asks what I did for a living; I tell him; and he takes a long drag of his cigarette and says "...How much does somethin' like that pay"?


just a collective series of things/actions over years where it's like one big stereo type.
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Old 01-16-2013, 11:05 AM   #25
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Old 01-16-2013, 11:06 AM   #26
saphojunkie saphojunkie is offline
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I did. They looked at me like I was an idiot. Still happy I did, though.
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Old 01-16-2013, 11:08 AM   #27
DJ's left nut DJ's left nut is online now
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Not his call.

My wife and I had dated for 5 years(ish) at that point and she actually told me she didn't want me to ask permission. She's a big-time daddy's girl but still thought it was strange for me to go ask him permission to marry her. We spoke about it later and his reaction was the same as hers - why ask? It's not my decision to make.

I always thought it was something I was supposed to do, but they both thought it was an odd step.

It may just be different for me because it was a foregone conclusion. We freakin' grew up together. It's not like we were adults that met at each other's houses and never saw her parents. I went over to their place to watch movies and have meals. I would DD for her dad once a year when they went to some event at the KC Zoo where you got hammered and gave away gobs of money. The 'respect' was shown well in advance of the decision to get married.

I don't know that it's an antiquated tradition, but I think it's certainly a redundant and awkward bit of worthless ceremony if you've spent as much time around the parents as I have.
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Old 01-16-2013, 11:09 AM   #28
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I didn't, and I sort of regret it. My in-laws have never brought it up, but my wife said one time that it would have been a nice thing to do.
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Old 01-16-2013, 11:09 AM   #29
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Yeah I tried.
He said "Who the **** are You? And why the **** do I care"

Real nice guy. BIG FELLA
After I got done asking him he made me go to his Hardware Store to help unload a Semi-Trailer full of Birdseed.
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Old 01-16-2013, 11:09 AM   #30
Dayze Dayze is offline
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before getting enganged, my wife and I obviously sort of discussed it. I casually said "so, you think I should ask your dad for permission"?

she laughed and said "uh, yeah, You'd better. Stuff like that is a big deal to him and our family, and it would piss him off beyond belief if you didn't."
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