Got Advice?

[FAX]

I am in the midst of an horrific dilemma, Planeteers. What follows is the sad and heartbreaking tale of woe stuff.

Approximately two months ago, I decided to grow a beard. Not a big, long, fuzzy one that can hold mashed potatoes and a family of finches. Just a neatly trimmed goatee thing with mustache thing and bluesy turtle tail looking thing under the lower lip place. Kind of a Tony Stark type deal. I haven't had a beard of any sort since my days on the road, so it's kind of cool and in keeping with my music business persona stuff.

Anyhow, the beautiful and witty Mrs. FAX is complaining. She says the beard is "prickly" when we kiss. Ergo, the mucho problemo. I like the beard and I like the beautiful and witty Mrs. FAX. She is also a very good kisser ... or at least she was before the beard.

The issue is obvious. Do I keep the beard or do I shave? To be honest, I have been hopeful that the beautiful and witty Mrs. FAX would become accustomed to the beard so that I might retain both my sporty new grill and my love life. She, however, holds the opposite opinion ... so damn.

Realizing that Planeteers are wise in the ways of love, marital problems, facial hair, and horrific dilemmas, I thought I'd ask for some advice and information. Do women get used to beards after awhile? Alternatively, is it actually possible that some women never get used to them? Should you be forced to decide between kissing a beautiful woman and sporting a cool beard complete with turtle tail thing, which would you choose? Were I to calculate the financial savings in razor blades and shaving cream, do you think she could turn from beard hater to beard supporter purely on economic grounds? Where do beards rank in the list of most common reasons for divorce?

Any assistance you could provide based upon your prior experience (with beards - not with the beautiful and witty Mrs. FAX) would be greatly appreciated.

FAX THE HAIRY