Any lawyers here? Need advice on complicated custody dispute

[MTG#10]

Ok here's what's going on:

My ex and I have been divorced for a 2-3 years. We agreed to 50/50 everything with our kids...time with them, decision making, etc. My address is their legal address for mailing and educational purposes. Neither one of us pay child support, and even though the time with them is supposed to be 50/50 its more like 60/40 with me and Ive been keeping a detailed log for the last year.

Ex meets another guy, he joins the army a year later, they get married about 3 months after he joins. He now finds out he's being relocated to a base in Georgia. Ex thinks she is going to move with him and take our kids with her.

Everything the kids need or have ever known are here. Their school they've gone to since they started, me, their entire family on both sides...everything.

Is there anything for me to worry about? I know judges want to do whats best for the kids, so surely no judge would let her uproot and move them to another state without my consent, right? The only thing Im worried about is the military thing, that maybe they'd get special treatment for that...but at the same time, he decided to join after they were together and they both knew her situation with my kids. My lawyer doesn't think I have anything to worry about, but of course he's going to tell me that since he wants my $.

[Mojo Jojo]

Originally Posted by Brock

It is entirely up to the judge's discretion. That's a fact.

That is true. I have never disputed that. Each judge has discretion under the law.

[Eleazar]

In another thread recently, I expressed reservation at the idea of letting a 15 or 16 year old kid go through with a sex change and was castigated, so it would seem people here don't have a lack of confidence in kids' decision-making abilities when it comes to irrevocable, life-altering decisions.

I know which of my parents I would have chosen if it'd been me, obviously it would have been the one who let me do what I wanted, which wouldn't have been good.

Good luck to the thread starter, I hope you get a fair shake, which often isn't the case for men.

[Brock]

Originally Posted by Mojo Jojo

That is true. I have never disputed that. Each judge has discretion under the law.

So your scenario that you said I failed to understand I actually understood pretty well. Thanks.

[Mojo Jojo]

Originally Posted by Brock

So your scenario that you said I failed to understand I actually understood pretty well. Thanks.

I was taking exemption to your comment that a child will choose the parent that will let them get away with the most. Not all kids will do that and the system is far more vast than allowing that to happen. You far under explained what the process really is.

[Gravedigger]

Originally Posted by MTG#10

8, 10, and almost 13. My 13 year old (daughter) has already told her if she wins she's not going with her. I don't know if she's old enough to have a say but I dont think her mom would make her go against her will.

I don't understand why people become who they become. So some new dick comes into the picture, decides that he is so important that she and your children must follow in his footsteps, and she's ok with this? If she had any sense in her head she should've picked a better man with a better career path. I know this doesn't help your questions but I would think that unless her lawyer can convince the judge that you're a terrible father or can't provide for the children better than she could, I would think the judge would side with you.

[Brock]

Originally Posted by Mojo Jojo

I was taking exemption to your comment that a child will choose the parent that will let them get away with the most. Not all kids will do that and the system is far more vast than allowing that to happen. You far under explained what the process really is.

I didn't "explain" it at all. Did you read the thread or the post I was responding to? Furthermore, my knowledge of how the court deals with child custody is bases in real experience, not what you think happens.

[verbaljitsu]

I'm a lawyer, but I don't know anything about custody issues. Call me if you kill her.

If you lived in a "right to work" state like Texas, I think you'd be in trouble. My lawyer advised me that I could spend $100k and still only have 50/50 odds at preventing my ex from taking the kids when she married a guy who gained employment out of state. I spent my life savings, my retirement, and a chunk of my current wife's retirement trying to gain custody. We prevailed and then lost at appeal a few months later.

Both my kids are now grown. The 20 year old lives with me. The 21 year old lives near her mother who has since returned to Texas. She's currently visiting and can't wait to move to KC. No matter what happens, this isn't the end. Kids grow up, get smart, and they know. My girls know. That's why they are with their real family in KC. I did something right along the way.

[patteeu]

Your attorney is right. I don't think you have anything to worry about. Unless your ex-wife knows about your posts on ChiefsPlanet.

[Mojo Jojo]

Originally Posted by Brock

I didn't "explain" it at all. Did you read the thread or the post I was responding to? Furthermore, my knowledge of how the court deals with child custody is bases in real experience, not what you think happens.

My opinions are also based on real life experience. And if you have read the whole thread you would know that I have always said in the end it comes down to the judge.

[trndobrd]

If your attorney wanted more money, he would tell you how tough this case was going to get and how much more research, filings, etc would be involved.

All other things being equal, it seems unlikely that a judge would want to send middle and high school age children to a new school.

Even less likely that the judge would be OK sending them to a different state and jurisdiction after she has been married for a couple months. Does she have employment there? Is the whole family going to be living on E-3 wages?

Kids don't get to pick who they want to live with. But the older the child, the better they are able to explain to the Court why they want to live one place or the other. "All my friends live here, I've been involved in orchestra at school for the last three years, I've attended Church at First Christian since I was little...." You get the picture.

[CoMoChief]

just for the love of god don't hire Barry Zuckerkorn.

[KCSLC2008]

I don't know if this has been said already, as haven't read the whole thread, but I read in law school a case where the parents shared custody and the wife wanted to move away and the dad tried to stop her. The wife had custody. They basically ruled that she could move wherever she wanted but couldn't take the kids. It created too much of a difficulty in the father's visitation rights. Now, how they enforced that, I don't know. I don't know if the caselaw has changed, what the laws of your state are, and whether there are other laws like Phobia referred to in employment.

As to the agreement being 50/50 and the actual split being 60/40, I'm not sure how that will be handled. In one way, an agreement between the two might take precedence and there's thus a tie. In the other, you can demonstrate a positive for why you should get primary custody. However, either way, if you two lived and raised your children together in the state and her moving would cause a great difficulty in your rights to visitation, then the court will go against it. This is subject to the disclaimer in bold above. But they will look at the whole situation and custody issues because that has to be determined, anyway.

[Simply Red]

Dude you always have a ton of drama. You should just leave Kansas forever.

[Simply Red]

it's 'work at will' - not 'right to work'