Funny Stuff Clean jokes can be funny too! - Page 4

Frankie · 05:17 PM

Or at least good for a chuckle. Here's something completely different (for this BB). This thread is dedicated to ONLY CLEAN JOKES. Please post any clean joke that you find funny or at least amusing. We will not call you "dorks." Not in this thread. Let's see what you've got,... and share them.

Don't worry about repeat jokes. Nobody has time to check all posts.

KS Smitty · 09-25-2005, 09:57 PM

Two birds were setting on a perch. One turned to the other and said.......do you smell fish?

greg63 · 09-25-2005, 09:59 PM

A horse walks into a bar, and the bar tender says "So, why the long face?"

tk13 · 09-25-2005, 10:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cochise

Why did Tigger have his head in the toilet?

He was looking for pooh.

(groan)

That's good stuff.

Simplex3 · 09-25-2005, 10:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KS Smitty

Tow birds were setting on a perch. One turned to the other and said.......do you smell fish?

Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

greg63 · 09-25-2005, 10:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Simplex3

An Irish guy was driving down the road when suddenly a cop pulls him over. The Irishman quickly composes himself while the cop walks up beside the car.

Cop: "Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?"
Irishman: "No sir."
Cop: "Your wife fell out of your car three blocks back."
Irishman: "Oh thank God. I thought I'd gone deaf."

Best post yet!!

KS Smitty · 09-25-2005, 10:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Simplex3

Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

A three-legged dog walks into the bar and says to the bartender, " I'm lookin' for the man that shot my pa....

ChiefFripp · 09-25-2005, 10:05 PM

Mine is the only funny one so far...

greg63 · 09-25-2005, 10:06 PM

An honest seven-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that Billy Brown had kissed her after class.
"How did that happen?" gasped her mother.
"It wasn't easy," admitted the young lady, "but three girls helped me catch him."

ChiefFripp · 09-25-2005, 10:07 PM

A nun walks into a toy rocket factory...

I had better save this one for another thread.

greg63 · 09-25-2005, 10:12 PM

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice,
"Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug.
"I can't dear," she said.
"I have to sleep in Daddy's room." A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice:
"The big sissy."

Frankie · 09-25-2005, 10:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by greg63

An honest seven-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that Billy Brown had kissed her after class.
"How did that happen?" gasped her mother.
"It wasn't easy," admitted the young lady, "but three girls helped me catch him."

First grader little Joey comes home from school and announces that he and his classmate Tammy have decided to get married. Amused at the cuteness of this, his parents ask:"What are you two going to live on?"

"Well," he says, "You are paying me $15 a week, Tammy gets $10 a week from her parents. We figure that should be enough for us."

"Where are you gonna live?" The parents ask.

"We've thought of that too." replies Joey, " One week here and the next at her parents' house."

Amused and impressed at how well the kids have thought this thing out the parents ask: "But, how about children?"

Joey pauses a second and replies: "Well, so far we've been pretty lucky!"

C-Mac · 09-25-2005, 10:43 PM

My wife asked me to buy ORGANIC vegetables from the market.
I went and looked around and couldn't find any.

So I grabbed an old, tired looking employee and said, "These
vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any
poisonous chemicals?"

"The produce guy looked at me and said, "No. You'll have to
do that yourself."

greg63 · 09-25-2005, 10:55 PM

A small boy is sent to bed by his father.
Five minutes later...."Da-ad...."
"What?"
"I'm thirsty. Can you bring a drink of water?"
"No. You had your chance. Lights out."
Five minutes later:"Da-aaaad....."
"WHAT?"
"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"
"I told you NO!" If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"
Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad....."
"WHAT!"
"When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"

greg63 · 09-25-2005, 10:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frankie

First grader little Joey comes home from school and announces that he and his classmate Tammy have decided to get married. Amused at the cuteness of this, his parents ask:"What are you two going to live on?"

"Well," he says, "You are paying me $15 a week, Tammy gets $10 a week from her parents. We figure that should be enough for us."

"Where are you gonna live?" The parents ask.

"We've thought of that too." replies Joey, " One week here and the next at her parents' house."

Amused and impressed at how well the kids have thought this thing out the parents ask: "But, how about children?"

Joey pauses a second and replies: "Well, so far we've been pretty lucky!"

**morphius** · 09-25-2005, 11:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by penchief

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros?

My sister used to do that to me all the time and the answer is giraffe.

09-25-2005, 09:00 AM
Frankie Banned Join Date: Jul 2001 Casino cash: $10004900	Clean jokes can be funny too! Or at least good for a chuckle. Here's something completely different (for this BB). This thread is dedicated to ONLY CLEAN JOKES. Please post any clean joke that you find funny or at least amusing. We will not call you "dorks." Not in this thread. Let's see what you've got,... and share them. Don't worry about repeat jokes. Nobody has time to check all posts. Last edited by Frankie; 07-10-2011 at 05:17 PM..
Posts: 26,959

09-25-2005, 09:57 PM	#46
KS Smitty Cool as a Cucumber Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: on the edge Casino cash: $3666717	Two birds were setting on a perch. One turned to the other and said.......do you smell fish? __________________ A D with Sneed is a D indeed.
Posts: 3,822

09-25-2005, 09:59 PM	#47
greg63 Homer go crazy!!! Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: SE Kansas Casino cash: $9324990	A horse walks into a bar, and the bar tender says "So, why the long face?" __________________
Posts: 17,564

09-25-2005, 10:05 PM	#52
ChiefFripp Veteran Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: KC Casino cash: $10004900	Mine is the only funny one so far...
Posts: 2,579

09-25-2005, 10:06 PM	#53
greg63 Homer go crazy!!! Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: SE Kansas Casino cash: $9324990	An honest seven-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that Billy Brown had kissed her after class. "How did that happen?" gasped her mother. "It wasn't easy," admitted the young lady, "but three girls helped me catch him." __________________
Posts: 17,564

09-25-2005, 10:07 PM	#54
ChiefFripp Veteran Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: KC Casino cash: $10004900	A nun walks into a toy rocket factory... I had better save this one for another thread.
Posts: 2,579

09-25-2005, 10:12 PM	#55
greg63 Homer go crazy!!! Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: SE Kansas Casino cash: $9324990	One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room." A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy." __________________
Posts: 17,564

09-25-2005, 10:43 PM	#57
C-Mac Lurker Extraordinaire Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Wally World Casino cash: $2343699	My wife asked me to buy ORGANIC vegetables from the market. I went and looked around and couldn't find any. So I grabbed an old, tired looking employee and said, "These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?" "The produce guy looked at me and said, "No. You'll have to do that yourself."
Posts: 5,632

09-25-2005, 10:55 PM	#58
greg63 Homer go crazy!!! Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: SE Kansas Casino cash: $9324990	A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later...."Da-ad...." "What?" "I'm thirsty. Can you bring a drink of water?" "No. You had your chance. Lights out." Five minutes later:"Da-aaaad....." "WHAT?" "I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??" "I told you NO!" If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!" Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad....." "WHAT!" "When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?" __________________
Posts: 17,564