Spinoff:Caught In The Act

[Nzoner]

Probably done before but Hamas' thread got me to thinking about times being caught in the act and thought with this group surely there's some hilarity to be had.

My most embarrassing was when my gf and I were 69ing in the backseat of my car parked by a lake in our county and getting so busy doing each other we didn't hear anything until there was a rapping on the car window and then a flashlight illuminated the backseat.Deputy was cool and just told us to be on our way.

[DJ's left nut]

16 and 19 isn't actually illegal in Missouri - but these cops either didn't know that or were hard up to scare the shit out of a college aged kid that probably shouldn't have been dating HS juniors.

They had the kid dead certain he was going to jail, as he and my folks told the story. The poor bastard was scared right out of his mind.

[LoneWolf]

Freshmen year in college I was trying to carry on a long distance relationship with my high school sweetheart who was a year younger than me. I wasn't trying very hard to be faithful and started banging a junior who was a cheerleader. One Friday night during spring semester we were going at it in my dorm room when suddenly there is a knock on the door and then the door opens. Standing there are my parents and my girlfriend from back home. The girl got up and hastily threw her clothes on and tried to scurry out of the room. On her way out my girlfriend punched her in the face. The rest of the weekend was extremely uncomfortable and I was single by the end of it.

[siberian khatru]

I was a soph in college, my GF-now-wife was a senior in high school, I was her date to her senior prom. Afterward we went back to my house and went into my sister's room -- sis was spending the night at a friend's, and sis had a waterbed, so I thought it would be nice to do it there for once.

So we were, um, riding the waves when my cat began scratching and clawing at the closed door, wanting to come in. I foolishly ignored it, but it woke my mom up, who came out of her bedroom and opened the door to let the cat in -- saw what was going on, went "Ooops!" and closed the door.

She and Dad later said, "Well, I hope you were smart and using protection."


Talk about pussy getting you in trouble.

[siberian khatru]

A couple of years before that I was in my bedroom fooling around with three sisters, including two twins. It actually wasn't anything more than mild fooling around, but they were in bikinis and I had my shirt off, and my Mom -- See a recurring theme here? -- opened my door WITHOUT KNOCKING to put some laundry away, saw me shirtless and the girls barely robed, and was pissed.

[HoneyBadger]

I didn't get caught per se, but:

I was maybe 17. My parents were away for the day. I bang my girlfriend and when I'm done I throw the condom in my trash. I leave to take her home, in the meantime, my parents get home. As soon as I walk in the door, my mom is standing there. She asks me "why was the dog chewing on a used condom?"

Apparently the dog dug it out of the trash and was chewing on it in the middle of the kitchen. I remember just looking at my mom and saying, "well, you caught me" and I walked away.

It has never been brought up since.

[Nzoner]

Originally Posted by siberian khatru

I was a soph in college, my GF-now-wife was a senior in high school, I was her date to her senior prom. Afterward we went back to my house and went into my sister's room -- sis was spending the night at a friend's, and sis had a waterbed, so I thought it would be nice to do it there for once.

So we were, um, riding the waves when my cat began scratching and clawing at the closed door, wanting to come in. I foolishly ignored it, but it woke my mom up, who came out of her bedroom and opened the door to let the cat in -- saw what was going on, went "Ooops!" and closed the door.

She and Dad later said, "Well, I hope you were smart and using protection."


Talk about pussy getting you in trouble.

Speaking of moms I let a friend and his gf use my mom's bedroom one night while I and another friend were listening to tunes in my bedroom.I had told friend it was all good as mom was on a date to the movies.
Apparently the movie was sold out and mom and her date had come back home and I didn't know until she was at my door yelling,"who in the hell is in my bed!"

[Titty Meat]

I didn't get caught but one time in HS my friend had a party while the folks were out of town. Everything went smooth no cops, alcohol poisioning, etc. Except I messed around with a gal in the parents bedroom and we forgot to clean up.

Well when the parents came back from vacation they noticed the skeet stain on the bed. Needless to say I was never allowed back at that house.

[soopamanluva]

Mother in law was staying with us for a few months. One night we were in our bedroom and i was getting a very nice head clinic from my wife when her mom knocked on the door to ask a question. Without any prompting she opened the door and was greeted by her daughter with my dick in her mouth. She said "im sorry" many times, then shut the door. I burst out laughing! Wife looked at me like it was my fault then My wife got up, went to see what she wanted then came back and finished.

[ghak99]

I've had a lot of bad luck with this...

Smoking hot high school girlfriend was staying the night and we're one wall away from my parents room. Water bed was making too much noise so we moved to the floor right in front of the door. At 2 ****ing am the old man blows the door open in his nut swinging underwear right above her head and in front of mine. After seeing who's feet I was looking at I slowly look up with her feet still on my shoulders too see a thumbs up and the door swing back shut. Never a word was mentioned about it, but I'm 99% sure he did it on purpose.

It was a late night at a high school girlfriends house. While watching a movie on the couch we worked into some dirty spooning under the blanket. We were a few minutes in when her mom comes down the stairs to tell her I needed to go home so we try our best to hold still. The fear of getting caught must have made her tense up like a ****ing nuns **** and my dumb ass couldn't take it. While trying my best to keep a straight face I had to slide out and squirt one out under the covers. Her mom had to of known what was happening because her tone went from "it's time to go home" to "he needs to leave, NOW".

Same girl who witnessed my old man's swinging rocks. Caught in the city park at 3am by city cop.... Go home kids. The very next night the very same cop caught us in the school parking lot.... Go home kids.

Lived with an attractive female friend in college who's little sister would come visit from time to time. Room mate, who's pussy smelled like ass, always wanted laid at 10pm on Thursday. What a ****ing pain in the ass, but it was good so I wasn't late very often. On one of little sisters visits she sent big sister to get pizza and served up an awesome blow at ~6pm but big sister forgot her wallet and walked in mid choke. She was furious and slammed the door and left. Little sister went home, but to my amazement big sister showed up at 9:45 drunk as **** wanting her normal 10pm Thursday plowing.

I was mesmerized by the most perfect set of tits I'd ever seen on my college biology lab TA. Finally landed the deal late one night and was going at it at her place, a loft above a woman's garage, and knocked a lamp off her night stand. A few minutes later her 80 year old land lord walked in wearing her see through hogger beast moo moo. It was an instant boner killer and the old hag asked her if she was sure she was ok three times before finally leaving. Even with the perfect tits, it took her forever to get me hard again.

I had to throw game at this girl for two whole semesters before finally sealing the deal. She was getting off like she hadn't had pole in years when about that time her girlfriend barged in the door yelling and screaming just as I started to pump a load out. She spun from doggy to confront the bull so quickly she caught the last spurt right in the eye as I was trying to crawl over her to get to my clothes. Pissed off lesbians get crazy WAY faster than straight bitches. In the middle of the screaming I heard "would you just let me get the cum out of my eye" as I was headed out the door.

I had been basically staying with a girl who worked nights. It was too long of a drive to take this bar whore back to my place so I figured wtf, I'll take her to the girlfriend's place while she's at work. HORRIBLE ****ing idea! It was hot and her face was a 2 so I had turned the ceiling fan on and lights off. Keep in mind this is one of those fans that go so fast you think they're going to fly off the ceiling and kill you. I wasn't watching the clock and unknown to me the girlfriend had came home for lunch. The bar whore was making some noise during some reverse cowgirl when the girlfriend comes busting through the door and attempts to jump up on the bed yelling. All I heard was her yelling and screaming come to a dead stop during a huge "thud thud thud" and her crash to the floor. She didn't just hit the ceiling fan, she had stuck her whole ****ing head in it and broke one of the wooden blades off. She was knocked out cold on the floor and blood was starting to run out of her forehead. As I try to stop the bleeding with a boner the drunken bar whore slurs out "is she dead?". Sitting in a waiting room of an emergency room with a furious and bleeding girlfriend you just got caught cheating on is not fun. To make it even better, while we were waiting for her forehead to numb the mother ****ing Dr. asked why she jumped on the bed with the fan on.

There's more, but awkward boners are awkward... No matter the situation.

[digger]

Originally Posted by ghak99

I had been basically staying with a girl who worked nights. It was too long of a drive to take this bar whore back to my place so I figured wtf, I'll take her to the girlfriend's place while she's at work. HORRIBLE ****ing idea! It was hot and her face was a 2 so I had turned the ceiling fan on and lights off. Keep in mind this is one of those fans that go so fast you think they're going to fly off the ceiling and kill you. I wasn't watching the clock and unknown to me the girlfriend had came home for lunch. The bar whore was making some noise during some reverse cowgirl when the girlfriend comes busting through the door and attempts to jump up on the bed yelling. All I heard was her yelling and screaming come to a dead stop during a huge "thud thud thud" and her crash to the floor. She didn't just hit the ceiling fan, she had stuck her whole ****ing head in it and broke one of the wooden blades off. She was knocked out cold on the floor and blood was starting to run out of her forehead. As I try to stop the bleeding with a boner the drunken bar whore slurs out "is she dead?". Sitting in a waiting room of an emergency room with a furious and bleeding girlfriend you just got caught cheating on is not fun. To make it even better, while we were waiting for her forehead to numb the mother ****ing Dr. asked why she jumped on the bead with the fan on.

I think we have a #winner.

I was 16. They were 18. They were my babysitters. I was a difficult 16 year old child. My parents hired each of them, contestants for the Miss America contest to watch over me. It was such a shame. I only made it through 4 of the eight before collapsing in exhaustion. To this day, I'm ashamed and struggle rising to the occasion more than 4 times. It's nothing like a porno. Not even close.

[wutamess]

Originally Posted by soopamanluva

Mother in law was staying with us for a few months. One night we were in our bedroom and i was getting a very nice head clinic from my wife when her mom knocked on the door to ask a question. Without any prompting she opened the door and was greeted by her daughter with my dick in her mouth. She said "im sorry" many times, then shut the door. I burst out laughing! Wife looked at me like it was my fault then My wife got up, went to see what she wanted then came back and finished.

I think MnLaws do that shit on purpose. Hasn't happened to me but she knows I sleep naked and always in our room when it's time for me to get up to go to work when she comes to visit.

[LiveSteam]

Originally Posted by Nzoner

When I was nine my pops and I stopped by my aunt's house and I went to the basement with my 12 year old cousin and she wanted to experiment.Later that day back home pops asked what cousin and I were doing in the basement and I answered just playing.He then proceeded to beat my ass while yelling yeah I saw you two playing.

Oh man.

[KCUnited]

6 months after graduating high school, everyone was back in town for a party over Xmas. I was talking to this extremely intoxicated chick and decide to make my move. She went upstairs (party was in the basement) to use the restroom and I followed. When she came out we started going at it and I took her over to a couch in a living room. I was long hair skater guy in high school that played sports, kind of a hybrid, and she was total jock crew cheerleader that never talked to me. So I'm grudge plowing the hell out of her on this couch and she's going crazy. Lol, so she says rather loudly "I want you to cum in me". This is that moment where that voice in your head tells you not to do something but you give 0 ****s at the time. Man, I unloaded in this thing. Holy shit, I filled that thing to the rim with seMEN! Immediately, like literally no second goes by before I start freaking out about it. To make things worse, another couple who had been in there making out pop their heads up. Not only did they watch the whole thing but they heard what she said about nutting in her.

So I ****ing split out the front door and spend the next 45 minutes huffing down cigarettes and freaking out. I collect myself enough to go back to the party to get my friend who rode with me. I walk down into the basement and the entire party has declined. This chick is even more wasted and the vultures are circling. She starts making out with these 2 dudes and they are groping on her, taking her clothes off. She starts to blow one of them and the other guy GOES DOWN ON HER!! He's not tap dancing around that box either, he is diving at the thing like Lard Ass in that Stand By Me pie eating contest. I immediately lock eyes with the dude who saw me banging her earlier and we both lose our shit. I was dry heaving and laughing at the same time.

I never saw that chick after that and what's crazy is some 15 years later she friend requests me on Facebook. She's a housewife for some well to do professional, 2 young kids (too young to be mine), they are the all American family. Trips me out. If she had a picture on there without one of her kids or husband in it, I'd probably fap to it.

[RockChalk]

Originally Posted by ghak99

I had been basically staying with a girl who worked nights. It was too long of a drive to take this bar whore back to my place so I figured wtf, I'll take her to the girlfriend's place while she's at work. HORRIBLE ****ing idea! It was hot and her face was a 2 so I had turned the ceiling fan on and lights off. Keep in mind this is one of those fans that go so fast you think they're going to fly off the ceiling and kill you. I wasn't watching the clock and unknown to me the girlfriend had came home for lunch. The bar whore was making some noise during some reverse cowgirl when the girlfriend comes busting through the door and attempts to jump up on the bed yelling. All I heard was her yelling and screaming come to a dead stop during a huge "thud thud thud" and her crash to the floor. She didn't just hit the ceiling fan, she had stuck her whole ****ing head in it and broke one of the wooden blades off. She was knocked out cold on the floor and blood was starting to run out of her forehead. As I try to stop the bleeding with a boner the drunken bar whore slurs out "is she dead?". Sitting in a waiting room of an emergency room with a furious and bleeding girlfriend you just got caught cheating on is not fun. To make it even better, while we were waiting for her forehead to numb the mother ****ing Dr. asked why she jumped on the bed with the fan on.

This has it all. WINNER