First Reviews of IJKoCS are in...

[irishjayhawk]

Last month, we posted about an alleged, albeit totes sketchy, early first review of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull which called it “the best of the Indy sequels.” Well, the film recently screened and reviews are beginning to trickle in. Umm, they are not positive at all. Update: a new one is positive, summarized here at the end. AICN received three today, one heavy on the “it sucks” and spoilers, the other basically saying, “Yeah, that first guy who said the movie sucks? I see where he’s coming from.” The latest says it’s a worthy addition and brings a smile. Here are some lowlights from the second review…

it doesn’t totally suck, the sequel is just “unnecessary”
everything about the film is “bloated” and Spielberg/Lucas try way too hard.
it doesn’t feel like Indiana Jones, Harrison Ford may as well be Harvey Keitel or Booger
too much unnecessary, analytical dialogue a la the prequels
Cate Blanchett’s is the “least interesting” of the franchise’s villains
it’s a weak retread, but the reviewer didn’t “hate it”
But the first review out and out rips it…here’s a spoiler-free recap, spoilers after the jump

“this is the Indiana Movie that you were dreading”
compares it to…Allen Quatermain…, the Indy knockoff, ouch
perilous moments lack tension (this is a recurring criticism thus far)
sets switch jarringly from outdoors to indoors. “jungle looks like plastic.”
LaBeouf is “horrible,” a crybaby, and receives too much sappy “adulation” from Indy
Ford has “a few lines that work and a million that don’t” and never seems in danger, duress
end point: fanboys’ charges of “child hood memory molestation” against Lucas will explode once again
UPDATE: Now a third review has popped up. Surprise, it’s positive…

Crystal Skull is the 3rd best in the franchise, can’t top Raiders (duh)
best chase scene of all the movies
Shia was “just fine,” acting is “good across the board”
snake scene is way too slapstick (recurring criticism)
ending leaves something to be desired, but PLEASE not a fifth film
Ranks it third after Raiders and Temple of Doom, and before Last Crusade (Peter says WTF, but that’s my original trilogy order as well :P).
“Spielberg magic” is present
“people will be mixed.”
“Pretty. Damn. Good.”
Peter and I are in a disagreement as far as expectations go. While I don’t expect Crystal Skull to be as perfect as Raiders, if the film is tonally and structurally off as to be the Rocky V of the series, I will be pissed. If I glance at the four Indy movies in a DVD box-set later on and want to habitually shed it down to three, I will be pissed. Peter says he expects the film to be the Live Free or Die Hard of the franchise, but to me, that would be a travesty (proportionally speaking, of course).

After all of the time spent working to perfect the film’s script (after Darabont was left in the cold), the years of early hype, and the fact that Spielberg/Lucas are tinkering with one of the great franchises of all time, why set your standards low? I’m not sure what has happened on the Internet as of late as far as geek movie culture, but the “well it was pretty good and that’s fine” reigns supreme. I’d like to be able to think of one American popcorn franchise that consistently got it right and ended on a high note (not a “good if you’re an ’80s baby” way), and more and more, we’re seeing great records tarnished.

Alright, for you sickos out there, spoilers after the jump

Per slashfilm.


First two are exactly what i was thinking was going to happen. As always, we'll see.

[FAX]

Ow. That's not good news. Not at all.

I've been looking forward to this one.

FAX

[Frazod]

I loved the first one, successfully suppressed memories of the second one, and loved the third one.

But from the minute I heard they were doing this my initial thought was.... WHY?

I have no real desire to see this. I certainly won't see it in the theater. I might rent it later.

I was looking forward to Speed Racer, but the reviews are awful, so I guess I'll hold out for the DVD on that one, too.

[Bill S Preston]

Meh. I thought that Live Free or Die Hard was very fun to watch, so if this new Indy film entertains me in the same way, then I'll be happy with it.

[Frazod]

Originally Posted by Bill S Preston

Meh. I thought that Live Free or Die Hard was very fun to watch, so if this new Indy film entertains me in the same way, then I'll be happy with it.

It was okay. Certainly as good as the third one and much better than the second one.

But I sure didn't have any trouble waiting a couple of months for the DVD on that one, either.

Watching movie at the theater with the wife, plus snacks: $35-40.

Watching rented movie on the 46" TV in my den - $4.

I need something along the lines of Batman spectacular to get me into the theater at this point.

[Hammock Parties]

Originally Posted by frazod

Watching movie at the theater with the wife, plus snacks: $35-40.

Watching rented movie on the 46" TV in my den - $4.

I always hate these comparisons.

Especially because the theater blows your 46" TV away.

[keg in kc]

Reviews on AICN have all been bad so far.

[Frazod]

Originally Posted by GOATSE

I always hate these comparisons.

Especially because the theater blows your 46" TV away.

OK, I'll go watch everything at the theater. You buying?

[keg in kc]

When I went to see Iron Man, I noticed the theater running an all day $5 promotion Monday through Thursday, so I'll probably be taking advantage of that all summer.

[Hammock Parties]

Originally Posted by frazod

OK, I'll go watch everything at the theater. You buying?

Did I say everything?

It's Indiana ****ing Jones. I missed out on the first three on the big screen. I damn sure ain't missing this one.

$7 a head to watch Indiana ****ing Jones on an awesome DLP screen in an awesome theater isn't pricey. You can skip the concession line.

[Frazod]

Originally Posted by GOATSE

Did I say everything?

It's Indiana ****ing Jones. I missed out on the first three on the big screen. I damn sure ain't missing this one.

$7 a head to watch Indiana ****ing Jones on an awesome DLP screen in an awesome theater isn't pricey. You can skip the concession line.

You obviously care much more about this than I do. It's just Indiana Jones. Especially if the movie ends up being as silly and pointless as I feared it would be (which these reviews are sadly confirming), I'll wait.

I doubt if I see anything at the theater until Dark Knight.

[Hammock Parties]

Originally Posted by frazod

You obviously care much more about this than I do. It's just Indiana Jones.

What movies did you see in the theater this year?

Especially if the movie ends up being as silly and pointless as I feared it would be (which these reviews are sadly confirming), I'll wait.

Here's a good review:

So you've probably received quite a few of these by now, so let's just cut to the chase shall we?
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Did I see it?
Yes!
How?
Same as SOME of these other folks.
Is it any good?
Yes!! /Depends...
Explain.
Well, I should admit that Raiders, for me, has remained movie magic despite my involvments in the industry. In other words, despite how jaded I am becoming about movies and entertainment, this one and a few select others just remain untouchable classics. Now, I do love Temple of Doom and Last Crusade despite their respective flaws, but Raiders is a perfect movie for me. There's not a wasted second of screen time there. It still captures that wonder that older movies tend to have and newer movies have forgotten.
So....?
So, I'd put KOTCS in line more with the two sequels - which is by far not a bad thing. I am not surprised that I had this reaction, nor could I think of any way KOTCS could be improved to EVER stand along side Raiders. So there ya go.
What's good?
Oh, so much. The river chase is among the best chase scenes in the whole series. The ant sequence give the suitable chills. Doomtown is a haunting and fascinating sequence with an interesting ending. The one major death (nope not telling) is handled very well. The shots are impressive and familiar to the series. The acting is good across the board. Ford's Indy this time out is a bit different a bit beat down (a ton more so AFTER the events here for sure), but still witty and clumsy. The rest (especially Winstone) are a perfect fit. Shia? I had my doubts but he was just fine. Most of all it feels like Indy so rest assured, in case you are wondering/worrying...this is an Indiana Jones movie! A book should be written on the numerous ways and reasons this series just blows every other attempt at adventure films out of the croc (also a nice addition) infested water. It will bring broad goofy smiles to your faces.
What's not?
Well, the snake scene was a bit too illogical even for an Indy movie. While Spalko is well acted, the psychic thing is a bit hard to take ( as it was in the Fate of Atlantis PC game). Also, the end...well, since I'd heard some awful rumors of a cameo overload, I was worried, but while those were thankfully way off, the ending that is here ...well let's just say I'd personally prefer this to be the last adventure we had with Indy. They got this one right - let us not risk it again. Not sure some of us could take the wait. Also, regarding the ending, it's a bit more in line with TOD than the others, but you'll have to see it to understand.
So rank em?
Easy. Raiders first (see above) Temple of Doom second (close race with LC for me, but the set pieces and serial feel overcome) Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (weird to see another title amongst these others,but it belongs here I am so glad to say) Last Crusade (fun, but uneven).
So seriously...after 19 years...it's actually good?
It's actually very good. Now, people will be mixed on this, though I have a hard time seeing how anyone could say it's actually a BAD film. Some may not like it for whatever personal reason, but that Spielberg magic is still there. It feels like the Spielberg we know and love (well, except for Lost World - bleh).
There you go. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is officially Pretty. Damn. Good. And I can not wait to see it with some real folks now!
So if you do decide to run this early (spoiler free, poorly written, rushed) look at Indy 4 call me Officially Relieved.

[Frazod]

Originally Posted by GOATSE

What movies did you see in the theater this year?

Just that godawful Brad Pitt Jesse James movie, which I walked out on.

[Hammock Parties]

Originally Posted by frazod

Just that godawful Brad Pitt Jesse James movie, which I walked out on.

Go see Iron Man. You'll love it. I'll buy your ticket if you don't like it.

[Frazod]

Originally Posted by GOATSE

Go see Iron Man. You'll love it. I'll buy your ticket if you don't like it.

I know that's been getting great reviews. I just don't have much interest in it.

I'm getting old, Clayton. Seeing new movies just doesn't interest me like it once did.