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Old 12-24-2012, 12:52 AM  
Jim Jones Jim Jones is offline
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Should I confront my fiance over text messages I found?
I guarantee this thread isn't going to be about what the thread title might have led you to think it's about. Sorry about that...

Anyway -- was reading text messages on my fiance's cell phone (Yes, I do that, I'm a privacy invader...but past relationships have led me to be a little paranoid).

I read texts between her and her sister and mom, basically trashing my family, which is who we're spending Christmas Eve with. It wasn't just like your usual, "not really looking forward to going to the in-laws", but it was actually pretty vicious stuff. She was trashing my mom's cooking, basically saying she doesn't like my mom at all (my family has been AMAZING to her)..complaining that all we do is "sit around and talk with a sports game on the TV), trashing my parents house, my sister and her "annoying kid". It was really nasty stuff and a side of her I haven't really seen before.

Question is -- do I confront her? This is all that's gonna be on my mind tomorrow, but confronting her means I have to admit to reading her text messages. I don't know how I can move forward knowing she's been talking all this shit about my family though.
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Old 12-24-2012, 09:29 AM   #151
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Finding out that she doesn't relish time with your family isn't that big of a deal. Unless she knows you go through her text messages then you'll be setting yourself up for a bigger fight about that, especially since you found something that isn't really a huge issue overall.

Your sister's kid probably is annoying.
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Old 12-24-2012, 09:31 AM   #152
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I know. I know. I have the perfect Chiefsplanet response.

Print out her text messages, put them in a box and shit on top of them. Then wrap it and give that to her for Christmas at your mom's.
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Old 12-24-2012, 09:34 AM   #153
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim Jones View Post
My natural inclination would be to become totally accusatory and start bitching her out, but that wouldn't end well.
So you invade her privacy and typically jump her shit afterwards? You sound like a prize. Sounds to me like the apple doesn't fall far from the tree that she doesn't like.

She didn't choose your family, she chose you. If you really disliked her family, do you think you might discuss it candidly with people close to you? A friend or a brother?

Honestly you sound like a douchebag that needs to work on himself before he starts looking for reasons to fight with a girl he probably doesn't deserve.
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Old 12-24-2012, 09:34 AM   #154
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Put that shit in your pocket and start testing her. Give her chances to come clean or set up situations for her to lie when you already know the truth. Use this to hand her the shovel to dig her own hole then you have the evidence you need without ever tipping your hand.

Also, tell her to make you a sammich.
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Old 12-24-2012, 09:36 AM   #155
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shes going to spin this around on YOU the moment you confront her

she will turn it into the whole "you looked at my phone/invaded my privacy you creep" argument right to the forefront, and your goals and points about your family will be clearly overshadowed

thus she will be mad at you, you will be mad at her, nothing will be resolved and like someone says this could pull you two apart. Because I have never met a female (or anyone for that matter) that was okay with her private crap being looked at. And if this girls been trash talking in her private time, no way she will be okay with it either.

Good luck, no good way to go about this one.
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Old 12-24-2012, 09:36 AM   #156
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Iowanian View Post
I know. I know. I have the perfect Chiefsplanet response.

Print out her text messages, put them in a box and shit on top of them. Then wrap it and give that to her for Christmas at your mom's.
F***... Just give her a Chiefs #7 Jersey with "cASSHOLE" on the back. If she doesn't get it, let the family just point at her and laugh.
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Old 12-24-2012, 09:36 AM   #157
RaiderH8r RaiderH8r is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Iowanian View Post
I know. I know. I have the perfect Chiefsplanet response.

Print out her text messages, put them in a box and shit on top of them. Then wrap it and give that to her for Christmas at your mom's.
Actually this is better. Do this. Maybe tell her to drink antifreeze.
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Old 12-24-2012, 09:37 AM   #158
RaiderH8r RaiderH8r is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mcaj22 View Post
shes going to spin this around on YOU the moment you confront her

she will turn it into the whole "you looked at my phone/invaded my privacy you creep" argument right to the forefront, and your goals and points about your family will be clearly overshadowed

thus she will be mad at you, you will be mad at her, nothing will be resolved and like someone says this could pull you two apart. Because I have never met a female that was okay with her private crap being looked at. And if this girls been trash talking in her private time, no way she will be okay with it either.

Good luck, no good way to go about this one.
Women twist every **** up they have around on the guy. Should have never let them vote.
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Old 12-24-2012, 09:39 AM   #159
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You are both ****ed up, and I give your potential marriage about a 5% chance of succeeding. If you're engaged, and you're just now seeing "A side of her you've never seen", then that should be a huge red flag. Your insecurity and need to check her messages is a clear sign that you are in no way ready for marriage at this time. And her "Other side" indicates that she's not being open with you about much of what she feels. This is just all ****ed up from every approach. Neither of you sound like you should be considering marriage. No offense of course. Merry Christmas.
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Old 12-24-2012, 09:39 AM   #160
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The real reason she doesn't like your family is that she used to sleep with your brother and there was an ugly breakup related to something that sounds like schmerpes and schmanerial schwartz.
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Old 12-24-2012, 09:39 AM   #161
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If you were looking you weren't looking for that. She has been ****ing the mailman every afternoon. She let him marinate your meat so later when dinners on you got something tender to eat. DO NOT...DO NOT I repeat give yourself up. She will crush you like someone's balls against her taint. GET THE **** OUT. but prolong it and make the whore suffer.
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Old 12-24-2012, 09:42 AM   #162
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fish View Post
You are both ****ed up, and I give your potential marriage about a 5% chance of succeeding. If you're engaged, and you're just now seeing "A side of her you've never seen", then that should be a huge red flag. Your insecurity and need to check her messages is a clear sign that you are in no way ready for marriage at this time. And her "Other side" indicates that she's not being open with you about much of what she feels. This is just all ****ed up from every approach. Neither of you sound like you should be considering marriage. No offense of course. Merry Christmas.


Still, the Yep Elf just jammed his teeny, tiny little elf penis in a domesticated, North Pole Yep on this deal.

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Old 12-24-2012, 09:46 AM   #163
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If you wait until after Christmas, you could lead in to the confrontation by asking your fiance to cook what your mom did and see how she reacts to that. Chicks are devious and sneaky, but that just might catch her off guard.
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Old 12-24-2012, 09:48 AM   #164
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Oh, hell yes! Do this now. Don't ****ing wait until you're married. Will she be pissed? Of course. And when she throws that shit in your face, make sure you let her know that you'll be happy to address her concerns right after she addresses yours. I would also drop her off at her parents house, and go over to yours on your own. What I wouldn't do is tell your family about it if you still plan on marrying her.

No, I wouldn't just eat that. I love my family, and they are awesome to my wife. Always have been. If I'd heard some shit like that before we got married, I'm not sure we'd be married now. You're not in the wrong, dude.
All of this.
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Old 12-24-2012, 09:51 AM   #165
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I'm shocked at the level of misogyny in this thread. Shocked I tell you.
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