Should I confront my fiance over text messages I found?

[soopamanluva]

Originally Posted by jspchief

Everyday? That kind of assumes that interactions with his family are everyday occurrences.

And while it's technically lying, it's also good manners for her to not pile on his family to his face. Maybe she's decided that her love for him outweighs her feelings for his family. Maybe venting to a trusted confidant allows her to blow off the steam she needs to spend the holidays with people she doesn't like, but has clearly been polite to.

How many people actually truly like 100% of their in laws? I guess if interaction with his family is a common thing, then this has the potential to be a big problem. But if it means her putting on a false front only a few times a year, what difference does it make that she doesn't like them (or despises them)?

I dont see it that way. Everyday she isnt honest with her feelings, shes lying to him. Then what about when kids come? Is she gonna flip a bitch when its time for his family to watch them because she doesnt trust or like them? So many issues can arise from that

And please believe if it was reversed, she'd have no problem calling him out.

And he's a grown man, let him be in charge of whether his feelings are hurt because she doesnt like his fam. She owes it to him to tell him.
And if shes not honest about this, what else is she not honest about?

[jspchief]

Originally Posted by soopamanluva

And please believe if it was reversed, she'd have no problem calling him out.

I didn't realize you knew her. I'll defer to your expertise.

[htismaqe]

Originally Posted by soopamanluva

I dont see it that way. Everyday she isnt honest with her feelings, shes lying to him. Then what about when kids come? Is she gonna flip a bitch when its time for his family to watch them because she doesnt trust or like them? So many issues can arise from that

And please believe if it was reversed, she'd have no problem calling him out.

And he's a grown man, let him be in charge of whether his feelings are hurt because she doesnt like his fam. She owes it to him to tell him.
And if shes not honest about this, what else is she not honest about?

Yep.

Unless they both SHARE the same feelings for his family, it's going to be a constant point of contention until something gives.

There are fundamental things on which you MUST agree in order for a marriage to work.