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Old 02-13-2015, 10:56 AM  
Eleazar Eleazar is offline
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Regrettable things you've said to significant others
The discussion in another thread got me thinking that this might be a fun one.

What are some ill-advised things you have said to your wife/ladyfriend/life partner/whatever? How did she react? How long and how severely did she exact her revenge?
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Old 02-14-2015, 01:40 AM   #91
DaneMcCloud DaneMcCloud is offline
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I just wish she would stop hinting that I need to change my diet when she is sitting there eating her box of Oreos.
With my children, we want them to eat more because it doesn't seem like they eat enough. But I get it because I could eat 4,000 calories a day until I was 37 and not gain a pound from my high school days (I was working out, of course).

I just don't want to give them a complex and have them looking over their shoulder every time they skip or eat a meal. It's not the end of the world.

We're teaching them to eat right: No soda, no sweets, no junk. Blueberries, blackberries, raspberries, strawberries, bananas, Z Bars, grilled chicken, etc. Veggies are still a tough sell but they'll come around.

Just no guilt.
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Old 02-14-2015, 07:45 AM   #92
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That is ****ing incredible
Greatest joke ever
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Old 02-14-2015, 07:49 AM   #93
ptlyon ptlyon is online now
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The Lyon brothers are definitely hopeless romantics.

If they ever put on a weekend retreat, I'm in!
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Old 02-14-2015, 08:39 AM   #94
stumppy stumppy is offline
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OK, so a few years ago I had this misfortune of having a relationship with this particularly evil woman. and when I say evil I mean this bitch was pure ****ing evil. It took a herculean effort to extract myself out of that relationship and entire situation/lifestyle.
Towards the end I'd had enough and decided to really start throwing some verbal punches. After one really bad ordeal I just stopped her in mid tirade and said:

'I have to tell you something. I want you to know that ****ing you is like dropping my dick into a 5 gallon bucket of liver'. She took off like a rocket, hit altitude and really blew the hell up. But it was worth it.
I think the best part is the very last words this bitch ever heard me say was
"Good ****ing riddance Liver Snatch" then 'click', I hung up.
Hell, I almost forgot. A couple months later I made a Facebook account in the name
'Lee Versnach'.
She didn't accept my friend request.
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Old 02-14-2015, 08:44 AM   #95
Buehler445 Buehler445 is offline
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I thought I was one hell of an asshole.

Until I read this thread.
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Old 02-14-2015, 10:04 AM   #96
Mr. Flopnuts Mr. Flopnuts is offline
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I tried talking my ex girlfriend into anal a few times and she would always go into a 20 minute bitchfest about all the things that she didn't like about it

So one day she had been bitching at me all day and I got sick of it and told her I was going to **** her in the ass that night and she went into her speech again..after she finished I leaned forward looked her dead in the eyr and told her something that makes me smile to this day

I get why you hate anal so much..I really do..ass sex is just like vegetables..when your forced to have it as a child you can't enjoy it as an adult
you brilliant bastard!
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Old 02-14-2015, 10:19 AM   #97
stevieray stevieray is offline
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mocking "best sex i ever had"
back in my rock days I boinked this girl, and a week later I get a card stating she's crazy about me, how great the sex was, etc...I had no intention of getting tied down, as i was living with a top rock DJ...backstage parties and all that comes with it...see her at the rock club, make fun of her card in front of my roommates...breaks her heart...fast forward two years and she blossomed into a complete hottie..never forgave me....sat next to her at a Queensryche show..didn't say one word...I knew then I had ruined any chance to be with her again.

She was smokin, and I let her get away.
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Old 02-14-2015, 10:24 AM   #98
displacedinMN displacedinMN is offline
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"I didn't get you a Valentines present"
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Old 02-14-2015, 10:29 AM   #99
Mr. Flopnuts Mr. Flopnuts is offline
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"I didn't get you a Valentines present"
"****ing Hallmark holiday anyways. Don't I buy you enough shit throughout the year you ****ing gold digger?"
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Old 02-14-2015, 11:21 AM   #100
Imon Yourside Imon Yourside is offline
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Telling an ex how i really felt about her before i got my stuff back..

It's all out on the lawn except for what i kept for services rendered(lolz yes she said this)
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Old 02-16-2015, 01:15 PM   #101
Nzoner Nzoner is offline
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Having been gone all weekend I had to reply to this because looking back it was the meanest coldest thing I've ever done or said.

College sweetheart,she had dumped me(my fault for ****ing around and getting caught) but I was pissed nonetheless and so I took a picture I had of her with clothes on and put it in an envelope and addressed it to Hustler's Beaver Hunt(I knew the effect this would have as I had a couple of nude pics of her.)

Anyhow she agreed to meet with me and of course things got heated and I took the envelope out and tossed at her as I said,"well good ****ing luck ever getting a job as a teacher once this hits the magazine!"

As she read the outside of the envelope the look of shock was priceless as she put two and two together.She ripped it open and then went ****ing crazy wanting to know where the nude pics were.I just smiled and and said something like,"I'm sure as hell not stupid enough to give them to you."

The crying then started and me being called evil etc etc. Before I left for the last time I said ,"you just never know when someday your pic will appear in Hustler."
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Old 02-16-2015, 01:50 PM   #102
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"YOU ARE A C-U-NEXT-TUESDAY!" Last July during a heated argument

She left me at a winery after a nasty fight and I had to walk 11 miles without any money or my cell phone and hitchhiked the remaining 23 miles. My feet and ankles had blisters for two weeks.
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Old 02-16-2015, 01:51 PM   #103
Mr. Flopnuts Mr. Flopnuts is offline
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Having been gone all weekend I had to reply to this because looking back it was the meanest coldest thing I've ever done or said.

College sweetheart,she had dumped me(my fault for ****ing around and getting caught) but I was pissed nonetheless and so I took a picture I had of her with clothes on and put it in an envelope and addressed it to Hustler's Beaver Hunt(I knew the effect this would have as I had a couple of nude pics of her.)

Anyhow she agreed to meet with me and of course things got heated and I took the envelope out and tossed at her as I said,"well good ****ing luck ever getting a job as a teacher once this hits the magazine!"

As she read the outside of the envelope the look of shock was priceless as she put two and two together.She ripped it open and then went ****ing crazy wanting to know where the nude pics were.I just smiled and and said something like,"I'm sure as hell not stupid enough to give them to you."

The crying then started and me being called evil etc etc. Before I left for the last time I said ,"you just never know when someday your pic will appear in Hustler."
yes!
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Old 02-16-2015, 01:52 PM   #104
REDHOTGTO REDHOTGTO is offline
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the best comment said so far ? ****in you is like dropping my **** into a bucket of liver !!!!
you can make up that crap ! funny shit
as for me been married 29yrs yesterday, 32 yrs together, never said an ugly thing to her.................... well the 29yrs aint no lie
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Old 02-16-2015, 01:52 PM   #105
Mr. Flopnuts Mr. Flopnuts is offline
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"YOU ARE A C-U-NEXT-TUESDAY!" Last July during a heated argument

She left me at a winery after a nasty fight and I had to walk 11 miles without any money or my cell phone and hitchhiked the remaining 23 miles. My feet and ankles had blisters for two weeks.
Are you still with her? That's treason in my books.
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