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11-25-2011, 06:40 PM | Topic Starter |
NFL's #1 Ermines Fan
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Sixteen years of human-squirrel diplomacy ... gone in an instant.
I was in the kitchen today, and saw a squirrel out in our plum tree.
For some reason the squirrels like to gnaw on the plum tree's bark, and my wife asked if the squirrel was gnawing. I wasn't sure, but I was eating crackers and decided to throw one out there so the squirrel would have something else to gnaw. So I open the door and wing out a cracker. Now, the plum tree is about 25 feet from our back door, so you really have to put some arm into a cracker to have any hope of it making a distance near the tree. I was aided by the fact that it was one of those denser round crackers as opposed to a saltine or club cracker, so I went sidearm and winged it like frisbee. This thing catches the wind, arcs out and then peels back toward the tree. The plum tree is one of those trees that has a lot of dense branches and twigs and stuff, and this thing stays airborne, zips through the branches ... and nails the squirrel right in the shoulder blade. He never knew what hit him. What are the odds of that? I try to be a good squirrel neighbor, and then I go and nail one with a cracker from 25 feet away. No one's ever going to believe it was an accident, and now I'm going to be having nuts dropped on me every time I go outside. |
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11-25-2011, 06:44 PM | #2 |
In your pants
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Where is Eddie? He usually eats these goddam things.
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11-25-2011, 06:45 PM | #3 |
Rock Chalk Jayhawks! KU!!!
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11-25-2011, 09:25 PM | #4 |
Stuff & Things
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11-25-2011, 11:02 PM | #5 |
Buddy Christ is a Chiefs fan
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It literally took me a minute to quit laughing about this. I just about spit up my beer I was drinking. I am tired so take that for what it is worth.
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"You know, they lay down with their ugly wives in front of their ugly children and just look at their loser lives and then they look at me and say, "I CAN'T PROCESS IT!" Well, no, and you never will. Stop trying. Just sit back and enjoy the show .... You know?" Carlos Irwin Estevez |
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11-25-2011, 06:46 PM | #6 |
The Constitutional Choo choo
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No comment
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Progressivism.. The Politically Correct way of saying "I'm a Communist slash Nazi" depending on what the issue of the day is? |
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11-25-2011, 06:49 PM | #7 |
GBM 8-12-15
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Rainman > Cassel
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11-25-2011, 06:52 PM | #8 |
sorta mod-ish
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11-25-2011, 07:01 PM | #9 |
MVP
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I was once at my dad's trimming out his house, when I saw a mouse scampering about. I didn't know exactly what to do, but grabbed a piece of scrap wood, pulled back, and let 'er fly. To my amazement, I didn't just hit the mouse, but severed his head 80% of the way from his body. He didn't get back up...
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11-25-2011, 07:06 PM | #10 |
....
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You did better than Casshole would have done...
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11-25-2011, 07:08 PM | #11 | |
(Sir/Yes Sir/Aye Aye Sir)
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Quote:
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. #President Trump loves and supports the constitution #McCarthy is a Sellout and Traitor to America #The FBLieIsCorrupt #DefundTheFBI #The FBI Is Not The Police #PresidentBidenIsMoronic #LizCheneyGotTheBoot #FJB #80,000,000 Mules (and a few Americans too) Voted For COVID To Continue #I still don't have COVID |
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11-25-2011, 07:17 PM | #12 |
Everything is Awesome!!!!!
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squirrels are good for nothing but eating cable.
booooooooooooo squirrels, booooooooooooooo. |
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11-25-2011, 07:34 PM | #13 |
SuperChiefs
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11-25-2011, 07:33 PM | #14 |
Immanentize The Eschaton
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Silently, in the distance, a squirrel army is gathering. Preparing to wreak unholy vengeance upon the Rainman household. Be afraid. No one will be spared.
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11-25-2011, 08:10 PM | #15 | |
The Master
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Better not let PETA find out.
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-Watching Eddie Podolak Quote:
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