I'm depressed

[Abba-Dabba]

Originally Posted by rabblerouser

It just sucks. I have no life anymore. I CAN'T go do things - I wake up at 5AM to see if I have to drop a UA before work. I go to see my PO once a week before work. I work 9 hours a day. I go to court every other week at lunch. I go to groups Mondays and Fridays at lunch. I see my counselor on Wednesdays at lunch. I see a therapist on Thursdays at lunch. I get home, take my dog for a walk in the park most days. I go to NA meetings on Tuesdays and Saturdays. I do the homework for court and groups. I don't have any family. My girlfriend broke up with me. My life is just abject misery.

I hate myself. Period. Talking about it all day doesn't help. I wake up shaking with anxiety. My first thought each day is "kill yourself." My last thought each day is "kill yourself." Peppered with several similar thoughts throughout the day.

About to go to court right now...

Sounds like you need to commit yourself into a mental health facility.