Chiefs The Night Before Chiefsmas

Hammock Parties · 09-10-2011, 07:26 PM

'Twas the night before Chiefsmas, when all through Arrowhead
Not a creature was stirring, and no one wore red.

But helmets were hung in their lockers with care
In hopes that Todd Haley soon would be there

The Chiefs were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of dead Buffaloes danced in their heads;

And Pioli in his jammies, and Clark in his nightgown
Had just settled down after drinking the town

When out on the field there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the press box I flew like a flash,
Tore open the gate, past the guard smoking hash.

The moon shining down on the fresh-painted grass
Made me think of a tight little cheerleader's ass.

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
A big red bus, the Kansas City Chiefs were here!

With an angry coach, often called a m'fin prick
Of course it was Haley, god, what a dick!

More rapid than Jamaal Charles his players they came
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, Albert! now, Breaston! now, Cassel and Bowe!
On, Charles! on Flowers! on, Dorsey and Powe!

To the edge of the sideline! Protect my damn ball!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

So back to the locker room, at the sound of the horn!
The players ran off, herded by Zorn.

And then, in the hallway, I heard footsteps come.
It was Haley and the Chiefs, even before the sun!

As I logged off the Planet, and was turning around,
Down the aisle Haley came with a bound.

He was dressed all in red, yes, but of course!
And said, "by jove, you're the famous gif horse!"

A bundle of plays he had tucked under his arm,
He promised, to the Bills, they would do great harm.

Said Haley: We beat them last year, don't you know I own Gailey?
We'll beat them again, or my name isn't Todd Haley.

Have you seen their offensive tackles, they suck really hard!
They're so awful, most likely, they couldn't even play guard.

So guess what happens when Fitzpatrick drops to pass?
Buffalo's left tackle is toast, and Hali sacks that ass!

Merriman's washed up and nowhere to be found,
Cassel will have time to throw, three-yard passes will abound!

Don't worry about our defense, Romeo's got the trick,
And if he doesn't, I'll go into Coach Mode: Overdrive Prick!

Haley then closed his playbook, got back on the bus
He added, "by the way, Bill Muir is a salty old cuss."

"Also, it's the opener, so our fans will be loud!
"I'm anticipating a thunderous roar from our red swaddled crowd!

He sprang to his seat, to his team gave a shout,
And away they all drove, ready for the bout.

But I heard Haley exclaim, as he drew up more passes,

"I'M A M'FIN PRICK! LET'S KICK BUFFALO'S ASSES!"

**loochy** · 09-10-2011, 07:37 PM

...except Haley doesn't draw up passes. He draws up RRPP.

threebag · 09-10-2011, 08:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by loochy

...except Haley doesn't draw up passes. He draws up RRPP.

R- Thomas Jones
R- Dexter McCluster
P- 15 yard BOMB(drops incomplete)
P-U-N-T

Okie_Apparition · 09-10-2011, 08:05 PM

Tradition

**loochy** · 09-10-2011, 09:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by threebag02

R- Thomas Jones
R- Dexter McCluster
P- 15 yard BOMB(drops incomplete)
P-U-N-T

Jamaal needs more carries.

**sd4chiefs** · 09-10-2011, 09:16 PM

I have a bad feeling about this.

Ace Gunner · 09-10-2011, 10:04 PM

hahaha I hate christmas. I like Chiefsmas

well done sir

Hammock Parties · 09-11-2011, 05:38 PM

T'was the day of the game, the team had no heart
Haley did nothing, not even a ripped fart

Cassel went deep, but missed Bowe by far
Tyson did nothing, except dream of snack bars

Chan Gailey laughed as he wrote up this poem,
the 2nd worse loss by the chiefs team at home?

**Shogun** · 09-11-2011, 05:39 PM

Pretty perfect imo

Hog's Gone Fishin · 09-11-2011, 05:40 PM

But at least we gave up more points than any other team in the NFL today. That's something.

**The Bad Guy** · 09-11-2011, 06:04 PM

You know I appreciate blog sites like Arrowhead Pride, but corny bullshit like Chiefsmas really is awful.

Hammock Parties · 09-11-2011, 06:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Bad Guy

You know I appreciate blog sites like Arrowhead Pride, but corny bullshit like Chiefsmas really is awful.

It's tradition, brah.

09-10-2011, 07:26 PM
Hammock Parties I'll be back. Join Date: Nov 2002 Casino cash: $4730478	The Night Before Chiefsmas 'Twas the night before Chiefsmas, when all through Arrowhead Not a creature was stirring, and no one wore red. But helmets were hung in their lockers with care In hopes that Todd Haley soon would be there The Chiefs were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of dead Buffaloes danced in their heads; And Pioli in his jammies, and Clark in his nightgown Had just settled down after drinking the town When out on the field there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter. Away to the press box I flew like a flash, Tore open the gate, past the guard smoking hash. The moon shining down on the fresh-painted grass Made me think of a tight little cheerleader's ass. When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, A big red bus, the Kansas City Chiefs were here! With an angry coach, often called a m'fin prick Of course it was Haley, god, what a dick! More rapid than Jamaal Charles his players they came And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name; "Now, Albert! now, Breaston! now, Cassel and Bowe! On, Charles! on Flowers! on, Dorsey and Powe! To the edge of the sideline! Protect my damn ball! Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!" So back to the locker room, at the sound of the horn! The players ran off, herded by Zorn. And then, in the hallway, I heard footsteps come. It was Haley and the Chiefs, even before the sun! As I logged off the Planet, and was turning around, Down the aisle Haley came with a bound. He was dressed all in red, yes, but of course! And said, "by jove, you're the famous gif horse!" A bundle of plays he had tucked under his arm, He promised, to the Bills, they would do great harm. Said Haley: We beat them last year, don't you know I own Gailey? We'll beat them again, or my name isn't Todd Haley. Have you seen their offensive tackles, they suck really hard! They're so awful, most likely, they couldn't even play guard. So guess what happens when Fitzpatrick drops to pass? Buffalo's left tackle is toast, and Hali sacks that ass! Merriman's washed up and nowhere to be found, Cassel will have time to throw, three-yard passes will abound! Don't worry about our defense, Romeo's got the trick, And if he doesn't, I'll go into Coach Mode: Overdrive Prick! Haley then closed his playbook, got back on the bus He added, "by the way, Bill Muir is a salty old cuss." "Also, it's the opener, so our fans will be loud! "I'm anticipating a thunderous roar from our red swaddled crowd! He sprang to his seat, to his team gave a shout, And away they all drove, ready for the bout. But I heard Haley exclaim, as he drew up more passes, "I'M A M'FIN PRICK! LET'S KICK BUFFALO'S ASSES!"
Posts: 277,765

09-10-2011, 07:37 PM	#2
loochy Hey Loochy, I'm hooome! Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: PooPooKaKaPeePeeShire Casino cash: $2160752	...except Haley doesn't draw up passes. He draws up RRPP. __________________ Hey Loochy, I'm hoooome!
Posts: 40,456

09-10-2011, 08:05 PM	#4
Okie_Apparition Banned Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: floatin cobwebs n the sky Casino cash: $10004900	Tradition
Posts: 7,012

09-10-2011, 09:16 PM	#6
sd4chiefs error 404 Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Bizarro World Casino cash: $8830445	I have a bad feeling about this. __________________ “It's Easier to Fool People Than It Is to Convince Them That They Have Been Fooled.” – Mark Twain.
Posts: 3,980

09-10-2011, 10:04 PM	#7
Ace Gunner First Overall Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: kcmo Casino cash: $10007271	hahaha I hate christmas. I like Chiefsmas well done sir __________________ The Greatest
Posts: 10,580

09-11-2011, 05:38 PM	#8
Hammock Parties I'll be back. Join Date: Nov 2002 Casino cash: $4730478	T'was the day of the game, the team had no heart Haley did nothing, not even a ripped fart Cassel went deep, but missed Bowe by far Tyson did nothing, except dream of snack bars Chan Gailey laughed as he wrote up this poem, the 2nd worse loss by the chiefs team at home? __________________ Chiefs game films
Posts: 277,765

09-11-2011, 05:40 PM	#10
Hog's Gone Fishin Fish are scared of me Join Date: Nov 2001 Casino cash: $1720477	But at least we gave up more points than any other team in the NFL today. That's something.
Posts: 40,338

09-11-2011, 06:04 PM	#11
The Bad Guy Scott Pioli Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: The Copacobana Casino cash: $9373645	You know I appreciate blog sites like Arrowhead Pride, but corny bullshit like Chiefsmas really is awful. __________________
Posts: 23,212