Using the ATM

**CosmicPal** · 11-04-2005, 11:05 AM

After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures of using the ATM have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.

MALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

***********************************************************

FEMALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Re-dial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake

ChiefsFan4Life · 11-04-2005, 11:07 AM

LOL...that's good stuff.

kepp · 11-04-2005, 11:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CosmicPal

After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures of using the ATM have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.

MALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

***********************************************************

FEMALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Re-dial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake

I'm gonna send this to my wife.

sedated · 11-04-2005, 11:10 AM

fucking women.

If they didn't have pu$$ies, they would be extinct by now.

shakesthecat · 11-04-2005, 11:10 AM

Women know how to use parking brakes?

joesomebody · 11-04-2005, 11:17 AM

Why do people quote the thread starter... I mean if you are posting in the thread, doesn't one assume that you are referencing the threads subject?

Maybe I'm just grumpy.

**Bob Dole** · 11-04-2005, 11:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CosmicPal

After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures of using the ATM have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.

MALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

***********************************************************

FEMALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Re-dial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake

No.

Yes, you are.

MichaelH · 11-04-2005, 11:27 AM

NICE!

sedated · 11-04-2005, 11:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CosmicPal

After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures of using the ATM have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.

MALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

***********************************************************

FEMALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Re-dial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake

**ChiTown** · 11-04-2005, 11:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sedated

fucking women.

If they didn't have pu$$ies, they would be extinct by now.

I used that line on my wife in anger one time........I repeat, one time.

StcChief · 11-04-2005, 11:41 AM

EXCELLENT.

**Mr. Kotter** · 11-04-2005, 11:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChiTown

I used that line on my wife in anger one time........I repeat, one time.

That explains your avatar. Heh.

**BigRedChief** · 11-04-2005, 11:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nm_dbf

EXCELLENT.

I agree. Most Ecellent.

**Lzen** · 11-04-2005, 12:25 PM

Good stuff.

joesomebody · 11-04-2005, 02:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bob Dole

No.

Yes, you are.

Joesomebody thinks Bob Dole is probably right.

Quote away.

11-04-2005, 11:05 AM
CosmicPal Learn it. Know it. Live it. Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: St. Petersburg, FL Casino cash: $10004900	Using the ATM After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures of using the ATM have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender. MALE PROCEDURE: 1. Drive up to the cash machine. 2. Put down your car window. 3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN. 4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw. 5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt. 6. Put window up. 7. Drive off. ********************************************************* FEMALE PROCEDURE**: 1. Drive up to cash machine. 2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine. 3. Set parking brake, put the window down. 4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card. 5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up 6. Attempt to insert card into machine. 7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car. 8. Insert card. 9. Re-insert card the right way. 10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page. 11. Enter PIN. 12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN. 13. Enter amount of cash required. 14. Check makeup in rear view mirror. 15. Retrieve cash and receipt. 16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside. 17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook. 18. Re-check makeup. 19. Drive forward 2 feet. 20. Reverse back to cash machine. 21. Retrieve card. 22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided. 23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you. 24. Restart stalled engine and pull off. 25. Re-dial person on cell phone. 26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles. 27. Release Parking Brake
Posts: 10,840

11-04-2005, 11:07 AM	#2
ChiefsFan4Life DT: HOF Class of 2009 Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: House Springs, MO Casino cash: $10004900	LOL...that's good stuff.
Posts: 2,031

11-04-2005, 11:10 AM	#5
shakesthecat Veteran Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: IA Casino cash: $4203833	Women know how to use parking brakes?
Posts: 3,353

11-04-2005, 11:17 AM	#6
joesomebody Waiting to be voted off Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Baltimore, MD Casino cash: $9994900	Why do people quote the thread starter... I mean if you are posting in the thread, doesn't one assume that you are referencing the threads subject? Maybe I'm just grumpy.
Posts: 2,584

11-04-2005, 11:27 AM	#8
MichaelH Go Chiefs! Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Gastonia, North Carolina Casino cash: $9302006	NICE!
Posts: 3,187

11-04-2005, 11:41 AM	#11
StcChief Playing for #1 Draft Pick Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Just West of Lambs land Casino cash: $10004900	EXCELLENT. __________________ sig test for this screwy schema
Posts: 25,901

11-04-2005, 12:25 PM	#14
Lzen Supporter Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Jan Quadrant Vincent 16 Casino cash: $2130692	Good stuff. __________________ If at first you don't succeed ...skydiving is not for you.
Posts: 41,384