Any lawyers here? Need advice on complicated custody dispute

[MTG#10]

Ok here's what's going on:

My ex and I have been divorced for a 2-3 years. We agreed to 50/50 everything with our kids...time with them, decision making, etc. My address is their legal address for mailing and educational purposes. Neither one of us pay child support, and even though the time with them is supposed to be 50/50 its more like 60/40 with me and Ive been keeping a detailed log for the last year.

Ex meets another guy, he joins the army a year later, they get married about 3 months after he joins. He now finds out he's being relocated to a base in Georgia. Ex thinks she is going to move with him and take our kids with her.

Everything the kids need or have ever known are here. Their school they've gone to since they started, me, their entire family on both sides...everything.

Is there anything for me to worry about? I know judges want to do whats best for the kids, so surely no judge would let her uproot and move them to another state without my consent, right? The only thing Im worried about is the military thing, that maybe they'd get special treatment for that...but at the same time, he decided to join after they were together and they both knew her situation with my kids. My lawyer doesn't think I have anything to worry about, but of course he's going to tell me that since he wants my $.

[Discuss Thrower]

Longnecker?

[planetdoc]

Originally Posted by MTG#10

Does this sound excessive to anyone else for an objection to relocation? My divorce was $900 bucks.

when it comes to lawyers, generally, you get what you pay for.

[Skyy God]

Originally Posted by MTG#10

Finally received her intent to relocate my kids by certified mail a few days ago and hired a new, supposedly better attorney today. Apparently this woman has won numerous awards and has been voted in the top 10 of all family attorneys in MO by her peers for 8 years in a row.

$2500 retainer, and I had to sign a contract stating I understand that if it goes to trial (likely will) it will cost AT LEAST another $5000, but most likely more. Does this sound excessive to anyone else for an objection to relocation? My divorce was $900 bucks.

Not in the least. PM me the name of your attorney.

[Jimmya]

Got to pay when it's something important.

[Window Licking Whiner]

That is nothing. I dropped over 20k.....and lost

[planetdoc]

the old saying applies here. "Marriage is grand, while divorce is a 100 grand."

[MTG#10]

We're already divorced, this is just to prevent a modification to our parenting plan. It'll be worth it when I win but damn I'll have nothing and not even any room on my cc for emergencies.

[ptlyon]

Originally Posted by planetdoc

the old saying applies here. "Marriage is grand, while divorce is a 100 grand."

There is also the saying "Q: Why is a divorce so expensive? A: Because it's worth it."

[Valiant]

Originally Posted by gochiefs_va

I'm not a lawyer, but have been on the receiving ends of our 'justice' system as it relates to fathers rights. If you want to know, just look up my post history, you'll find it. Sounds like you are doing the right things, but my best advice is to be proactive, waiting around is not a good idea

Allow me to paint a different picture. Since there is no actual law forbidding her from moving with the kids, there isnt reason why she cant move away. One can not kidnap their own kids! It all comes down to notice, she told you of her intentions...guess what that counts as notification. She's already given you advance notice of her plans, you havent done anything about it yet. The court could determine this to be your tacit approval as you have had ample time to do something yet didnt.

So let's say she up and moves with the kids on some weekend. Doesnt tell you anything just up and goes. So you spend a week calling her yelling at her, texting her, calling her mom..and nobody answers. Or you call the cops where you live..sure they'l lwrite a report, but they'll ask you. Is there a court order limiting her ability to move with the kids? Nope? Then nothing we can do, get a lawyer (that's what they will tell you).

So your lawyer files a motion in your current state for her to return the kids to your state. Service takes time, months...say she needs time to file motions herself, asks for extensions etc.. Next thing you know 6 months have gone by and you havent seen your kids. Finally you get your day in court, and mother shows how happy the kids are in new state, how their grades are improving and their friends are all so nice. Uprooting the kids again would be mean. Sure we'll give you month during the summer to visit. I mean afterall "i texted him months before I moved to tell him I was moving, he never said I couldnt". Judge will side with her, count on it. And even if he doesnt, say kids do come back, they will hate you cause you pulled htem out of school, and their new friends/etc.

Or even worse..Mom moves and says you hit yelled at her (all it takes for Domestic Violence is for mom to be 'afraid'). BOOM Restraining order, and add another 2-3-6 months to your court date while you fight the BS charges..doesnt matter. Court will see your history of DV and side with mom.

Maybe it wont be as bad as I say..but you sitting around doing nothing is not going to win this.

This.
this.
Did I say this.

Also besides taking your kids. Which you have control of 60% of the time. You will lose all that. Then she goes back to court for child support.

[Valiant]

Originally Posted by MTG#10

Finally received her intent to relocate my kids by certified mail a few days ago and hired a new, supposedly better attorney today. Apparently this woman has won numerous awards and has been voted in the top 10 of all family attorneys in MO by her peers for 8 years in a row.

$2500 retainer, and I had to sign a contract stating I understand that if it goes to trial (likely will) it will cost AT LEAST another $5000, but most likely more. Does this sound excessive to anyone else for an objection to relocation? My divorce was $900 bucks.

Did you contest the move already?

If you did, does that mean she can't move the kids until after a judgment?

[MTG#10]

Originally Posted by Valiant

This.
this.
Did I say this.

Everything he said in that long-winded post was incorrect.

In MO before one parent can move their kids even down the street they have to send a certified letter to the other parent 60 days before they plan to move. The other parent then has 30 days to file an objection with the court. The relocating parent then has 14 days to reply to the objection. If the two parties cant reach an agreement it goes to trial where a judge then decides.

Ive been educated on the MO laws a lot since I made this thread several months ago.

I just received my certified letter a few days ago. Paid my lawyer today, and she's filing the objection next week.

[BWillie]

My suggestion:

[MTG#10]

My kids and I dont wear sweaters.

[Valiant]

Originally Posted by MTG#10

Everything he said in that long-winded post was incorrect.

In MO before one parent can move their kids even down the street they have to send a certified letter to the other parent 60 days before they plan to move. The other parent then has 30 days to file an objection with the court. The relocating parent then has 14 days to reply to the objection. If the two parties cant reach an agreement it goes to trial where a judge then decides.

Ive been educated on the MO laws a lot since I made this thread several months ago.

I just received my certified letter a few days ago. Paid my lawyer today, and she's filing the objection next week.

Guess we will find out. Of the 3 guys I know who went through similar. None of them won. One of the wives just picked up and left. Now maybe his lawyer sucked. But once found, she did not move back. Nor did the state require her to return with kid.

Good luck. But don't be fooled into thinking the letter of the law is always followed.

[MTG#10]

Originally Posted by Valiant

Guess we will find out. Of the 3 guys I know who went through similar. None of them won. One of the wives just picked up and left. Now maybe his lawyer sucked. But once found, she did not move back. Nor did the state require her to return with kid.

Good luck. But don't be fooled into thinking the letter of the law is always followed.

Were these all in MO? How long ago? From what two lawyers, a former judge, and several attorney blogs I've found said MO is very strict on relocations and the person trying to relocate almost always have an uphill battle.