Life Sixteen years of human-squirrel diplomacy ... gone in an instant. - Page 2

**Rain Man** · 11-25-2011, 06:40 PM

I was in the kitchen today, and saw a squirrel out in our plum tree.

For some reason the squirrels like to gnaw on the plum tree's bark, and my wife asked if the squirrel was gnawing. I wasn't sure, but I was eating crackers and decided to throw one out there so the squirrel would have something else to gnaw.

So I open the door and wing out a cracker. Now, the plum tree is about 25 feet from our back door, so you really have to put some arm into a cracker to have any hope of it making a distance near the tree. I was aided by the fact that it was one of those denser round crackers as opposed to a saltine or club cracker, so I went sidearm and winged it like frisbee.

This thing catches the wind, arcs out and then peels back toward the tree. The plum tree is one of those trees that has a lot of dense branches and twigs and stuff, and this thing stays airborne, zips through the branches ... and nails the squirrel right in the shoulder blade. He never knew what hit him.

What are the odds of that? I try to be a good squirrel neighbor, and then I go and nail one with a cracker from 25 feet away. No one's ever going to believe it was an accident, and now I'm going to be having nuts dropped on me every time I go outside.

**Munson** · 11-25-2011, 08:18 PM

Don't be surprised when you see a burning bag of squirrel poop on your porch.

**Bwana** · 11-25-2011, 08:21 PM

Make him into a hat?

FAX · 11-25-2011, 08:59 PM

I once pegged a squirrel with a Fruit Wheat from 30 feet away, Mr. Rain Man.

Things haven't been the same between the squirrels and us since.

FAX

threebag · 11-25-2011, 08:59 PM

The squirrels are gunna call you cracker.

Hog's Gone Fishin · 11-25-2011, 09:05 PM

This really got me thinkin.

I've never jerked off a squirrel.

**mikeyis4dcats.** · 11-25-2011, 09:08 PM

I had a band of squirrels eating my tomatoes a few years ago. Bought a pellet gun. A couple of dead ones later, I nailed one in the back. He jumped down and up onto a tree trunk, scurrying up by his front legs as I had turned him into a para. I felt bad, and took aim, nailing him in the shoulder. He frantically clung to the tree by one leg, so I had to shoot him again. he fell to the ground, and I had to put on in his brain. Felt really bad for the guy.

Hog's Gone Fishin · 11-25-2011, 09:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mikeyis4dcats.

I had a band of squirrels eating my tomatoes a few years ago. Bought a pellet gun. A couple of dead ones later, I nailed one in the back. He jumped down and up onto a tree trunk, scurrying up by his front legs as I had turned him into a para. I felt bad, and took aim, nailing him in the shoulder. He frantically clung to the tree by one leg, so I had to shoot him again. he fell to the ground, and I had to put on in his brain. Felt really bad for the guy.

What a puss. That kind of stuff is fun!

KCFalcon59 · 11-25-2011, 09:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mikeyis4dcats.

I had a band of squirrels eating my tomatoes a few years ago. Bought a pellet gun. A couple of dead ones later, I nailed one in the back. He jumped down and up onto a tree trunk, scurrying up by his front legs as I had turned him into a para. I felt bad, and took aim, nailing him in the shoulder. He frantically clung to the tree by one leg, so I had to shoot him again. he fell to the ground, and I had to put on in his brain. Felt really bad for the guy.

**Rain Man** · 11-25-2011, 09:17 PM

I'm afraid to leave the house. I see squirrels in the trees.

**KcMizzou** · 11-25-2011, 09:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by -King-

Better watch your back from now on. His buddies will try to come after you.

I just wonder how many drug addicted squirrels it's gonna take to steal his bicycle.

I'd like video of that.

**mikeyis4dcats.** · 11-25-2011, 09:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hog Farmer

What a puss. That kind of stuff is fun!

Oh, don't get me wrong, I had no problem pegging the others and the subsequent ones....but a clean kill is one thing.

**Gonzo** · 11-25-2011, 09:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shirtsleeve

Where is Eddie? He usually eats these goddam things.

Posted via Mobile Device

**Gonzo** · 11-25-2011, 09:32 PM

Tree Rats are an interesting breed. Several are twitchy around people, they run in front of cars and chew on power lines...
I have one that actually comes to my front door and scratches it until I grab some unsalted peanuts in the shell and feed them to him. He'll actually take it out of my hand. He won't do that with anyone else in the neighborhood, (except for my wife and son).
Posted via Mobile Device

tk13 · 11-25-2011, 09:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gonzo

Tree Rats are an interesting breed. Several are twitchy around people, they run in front of cars and chew on power lines...
I have one that actually comes to my front door and scratches it until I grab some unsalted peanuts in the shell and feed them to him. He'll actually take it out of my hand. He won't do that with anyone else in the neighborhood, (except for my wife and son).
Posted via Mobile Device

Great story. Meanwhile, Rain Man is a salting them with crackers.

**Gonzo** · 11-25-2011, 09:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tk13

Great story. Meanwhile, Rain Man is a salting them with crackers.

COME AT ME BRO!
Posted via Mobile Device

11-25-2011, 06:40 PM
Rain Man NFL's #1 Ermines Fan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $3328491 VARSITY	Sixteen years of human-squirrel diplomacy ... gone in an instant. I was in the kitchen today, and saw a squirrel out in our plum tree. For some reason the squirrels like to gnaw on the plum tree's bark, and my wife asked if the squirrel was gnawing. I wasn't sure, but I was eating crackers and decided to throw one out there so the squirrel would have something else to gnaw. So I open the door and wing out a cracker. Now, the plum tree is about 25 feet from our back door, so you really have to put some arm into a cracker to have any hope of it making a distance near the tree. I was aided by the fact that it was one of those denser round crackers as opposed to a saltine or club cracker, so I went sidearm and winged it like frisbee. This thing catches the wind, arcs out and then peels back toward the tree. The plum tree is one of those trees that has a lot of dense branches and twigs and stuff, and this thing stays airborne, zips through the branches ... and nails the squirrel right in the shoulder blade. He never knew what hit him. What are the odds of that? I try to be a good squirrel neighbor, and then I go and nail one with a cracker from 25 feet away. No one's ever going to believe it was an accident, and now I'm going to be having nuts dropped on me every time I go outside.
Posts: 141,405

11-25-2011, 08:18 PM	#16
Munson Roy E. Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Olathe, KS Casino cash: $11969646	Don't be surprised when you see a burning bag of squirrel poop on your porch.
Posts: 22,719

11-25-2011, 08:21 PM	#17
Bwana It's Five O'Clock Somewhere Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Billings, Montana Casino cash: $2139553647	Make him into a hat? __________________ Adventure is dangerous....but monotony can kill you.
Posts: 69,739

11-25-2011, 08:59 PM	#18
FAX testing ... 1, 2, 3 Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Tennessee Casino cash: $6753759	I once pegged a squirrel with a Fruit Wheat from 30 feet away, Mr. Rain Man. Things haven't been the same between the squirrels and us since. FAX
Posts: 44,492

11-25-2011, 08:59 PM	#19
threebag Snacks Are Under My Apron Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: The Edge Casino cash: $3021660	The squirrels are gunna call you cracker. __________________ Free DeBerg HayWire Greatest Mod Ever In big nasty kcnut we trust
Posts: 23,865

11-25-2011, 09:05 PM	#20
Hog's Gone Fishin Fish are scared of me Join Date: Nov 2001 Casino cash: $1710477	This really got me thinkin. I've never jerked off a squirrel.
Posts: 40,342

11-25-2011, 09:08 PM	#21
mikeyis4dcats. Scarlett Johansson's boytoy Join Date: Nov 2006 Casino cash: $9555998	I had a band of squirrels eating my tomatoes a few years ago. Bought a pellet gun. A couple of dead ones later, I nailed one in the back. He jumped down and up onto a tree trunk, scurrying up by his front legs as I had turned him into a para. I felt bad, and took aim, nailing him in the shoulder. He frantically clung to the tree by one leg, so I had to shoot him again. he fell to the ground, and I had to put on in his brain. Felt really bad for the guy. __________________
Posts: 12,526

11-25-2011, 09:17 PM	#24
Rain Man NFL's #1 Ermines Fan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $3328491 VARSITY	I'm afraid to leave the house. I see squirrels in the trees. __________________ I'm putting random letters here as a celebration of free speech: xigrakgrah misorojeq rkemeseit.
Posts: 141,405

11-25-2011, 09:32 PM	#28
Gonzo Stuff & Things Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: The Yukon Casino cash: $10126924	Tree Rats are an interesting breed. Several are twitchy around people, they run in front of cars and chew on power lines... I have one that actually comes to my front door and scratches it until I grab some unsalted peanuts in the shell and feed them to him. He'll actually take it out of my hand. He won't do that with anyone else in the neighborhood, (except for my wife and son). Posted via Mobile Device
Posts: 21,498