Life Sixteen years of human-squirrel diplomacy ... gone in an instant. - Page 3

**Rain Man** · 11-25-2011, 06:40 PM

I was in the kitchen today, and saw a squirrel out in our plum tree.

For some reason the squirrels like to gnaw on the plum tree's bark, and my wife asked if the squirrel was gnawing. I wasn't sure, but I was eating crackers and decided to throw one out there so the squirrel would have something else to gnaw.

So I open the door and wing out a cracker. Now, the plum tree is about 25 feet from our back door, so you really have to put some arm into a cracker to have any hope of it making a distance near the tree. I was aided by the fact that it was one of those denser round crackers as opposed to a saltine or club cracker, so I went sidearm and winged it like frisbee.

This thing catches the wind, arcs out and then peels back toward the tree. The plum tree is one of those trees that has a lot of dense branches and twigs and stuff, and this thing stays airborne, zips through the branches ... and nails the squirrel right in the shoulder blade. He never knew what hit him.

What are the odds of that? I try to be a good squirrel neighbor, and then I go and nail one with a cracker from 25 feet away. No one's ever going to believe it was an accident, and now I'm going to be having nuts dropped on me every time I go outside.

**bevischief** · 11-25-2011, 10:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

I'm afraid to leave the house. I see squirrels in the trees.

My bassets are weapons of mass destruction on squirrels...

**Gonzo** · 11-25-2011, 10:08 PM

No, seriously...

COME AT ME, BRO!

Posted via Mobile Device

Hammock Parties · 11-25-2011, 10:13 PM

And so it begins.

**KcMizzou** · 11-25-2011, 10:21 PM

Rain Man's ****ed.

**KcMizzou** · 11-25-2011, 10:23 PM

This is like "The Secret of Nihm" all over again, and Rain Man is the farmer.

Chief_For_Life58 · 11-25-2011, 10:27 PM

you shoulda pulled out ur air rifle n reached out n touched it with a nice lil pellet instead of a cracker

LiveSteam · 11-25-2011, 10:39 PM

I shot 3 to 5 a day for 5 months. Now they are all gone. Gonna box up the Beemen pellet rifle & take it back to Wallmart & get my 100 bucks back.

Chiefaholic · 11-25-2011, 10:51 PM

**bevischief** · 11-25-2011, 10:56 PM

Nuke it from orbit the only way to be sure.

Misplaced_Chiefs_Fan · 11-25-2011, 10:57 PM

Rainman,

It could be worse than you think.

We've intercepted secret footage from the squirrel's headquarters.

Be afraid.

**BigRichard** · 11-25-2011, 11:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shirtsleeve

Where is Eddie? He usually eats these goddam things.

It literally took me a minute to quit laughing about this. I just about spit up my beer I was drinking. I am tired so take that for what it is worth.

JD10367 · 11-25-2011, 11:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

No one's ever going to believe it was an accident, and now I'm going to be having nuts dropped on me every time I go outside.

Sounds like a typical day for Lindsey Lohan or one of those Hollywood chicks.

"Gettin' teabagged more often than Dandy Don Meredith."

(And if you're old enough to remember those Lipton commercials, I feel your pain... usually in my knees, my hips, my shoulders...)

**Dartgod** · 11-25-2011, 11:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

I'm afraid to leave the house. I see squirrels in the trees.

What the hell is DaFace doing in your tree?
Posted via Mobile Device

listopencil · 11-25-2011, 11:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Misplaced_Chiefs_Fan

Rainman,

It could be worse than you think.

We've intercepted secret footage from the squirrel's headquarters.

Be afraid.

Run. Run and hide.

**KcMizzou** · 11-25-2011, 11:40 PM

11-25-2011, 06:40 PM
Rain Man NFL's #1 Ermines Fan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $3328491 VARSITY	Sixteen years of human-squirrel diplomacy ... gone in an instant. I was in the kitchen today, and saw a squirrel out in our plum tree. For some reason the squirrels like to gnaw on the plum tree's bark, and my wife asked if the squirrel was gnawing. I wasn't sure, but I was eating crackers and decided to throw one out there so the squirrel would have something else to gnaw. So I open the door and wing out a cracker. Now, the plum tree is about 25 feet from our back door, so you really have to put some arm into a cracker to have any hope of it making a distance near the tree. I was aided by the fact that it was one of those denser round crackers as opposed to a saltine or club cracker, so I went sidearm and winged it like frisbee. This thing catches the wind, arcs out and then peels back toward the tree. The plum tree is one of those trees that has a lot of dense branches and twigs and stuff, and this thing stays airborne, zips through the branches ... and nails the squirrel right in the shoulder blade. He never knew what hit him. What are the odds of that? I try to be a good squirrel neighbor, and then I go and nail one with a cracker from 25 feet away. No one's ever going to believe it was an accident, and now I'm going to be having nuts dropped on me every time I go outside.
Posts: 141,405

11-25-2011, 10:08 PM	#32
Gonzo Stuff & Things Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: The Yukon Casino cash: $10126924	No, seriously... COME AT ME, BRO! Posted via Mobile Device
Posts: 21,498

11-25-2011, 10:13 PM	#33
Hammock Parties I'll be back. Join Date: Nov 2002 Casino cash: $4720478	And so it begins. __________________ Chiefs game films
Posts: 277,840

11-25-2011, 10:21 PM	#34
KcMizzou Supporter Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Parkville MO Casino cash: $10005170	Rain Man's ****ed.
Posts: 54,695

11-25-2011, 10:23 PM	#35
KcMizzou Supporter Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Parkville MO Casino cash: $10005170	This is like "The Secret of Nihm" all over again, and Rain Man is the farmer.
Posts: 54,695

11-25-2011, 10:27 PM	#36
Chief_For_Life58 Veteran Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: KC Casino cash: $9925938	you shoulda pulled out ur air rifle n reached out n touched it with a nice lil pellet instead of a cracker
Posts: 3,859

11-25-2011, 10:39 PM	#37
LiveSteam The Constitutional Choo choo Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: homeof43conferencetitles Casino cash: $2215432	I shot 3 to 5 a day for 5 months. Now they are all gone. Gonna box up the Beemen pellet rifle & take it back to Wallmart & get my 100 bucks back. __________________ Progressivism.. The Politically Correct way of saying "I'm a Communist slash Nazi" depending on what the issue of the day is?
Posts: 44,293

11-25-2011, 10:51 PM	#38
Chiefaholic Veteran Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $3244169	__________________ Last edited by Chiefaholic; 11-25-2011 at 10:59 PM..
Posts: 4,635

11-25-2011, 10:56 PM	#39
bevischief .... Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Somewhere Kansas Casino cash: $8659352 VARSITY	Nuke it from orbit the only way to be sure. Last edited by bevischief; 11-25-2011 at 11:08 PM..
Posts: 27,731

11-25-2011, 10:57 PM	#40
Misplaced_Chiefs_Fan I am Number Six Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Columbia, MD, USA Casino cash: $1979000	Rainman, It could be worse than you think. We've intercepted secret footage from the squirrel's headquarters. Be afraid. Attached Thumbnails __________________ One of the lowest PPD of any of the original members of the Planet . . . and proud of it. My web site My writer's page
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11-25-2011, 11:40 PM	#45
KcMizzou Supporter Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Parkville MO Casino cash: $10005170
Posts: 54,695