Life Sixteen years of human-squirrel diplomacy ... gone in an instant. - Page 4

**Rain Man** · 11-25-2011, 06:40 PM

I was in the kitchen today, and saw a squirrel out in our plum tree.

For some reason the squirrels like to gnaw on the plum tree's bark, and my wife asked if the squirrel was gnawing. I wasn't sure, but I was eating crackers and decided to throw one out there so the squirrel would have something else to gnaw.

So I open the door and wing out a cracker. Now, the plum tree is about 25 feet from our back door, so you really have to put some arm into a cracker to have any hope of it making a distance near the tree. I was aided by the fact that it was one of those denser round crackers as opposed to a saltine or club cracker, so I went sidearm and winged it like frisbee.

This thing catches the wind, arcs out and then peels back toward the tree. The plum tree is one of those trees that has a lot of dense branches and twigs and stuff, and this thing stays airborne, zips through the branches ... and nails the squirrel right in the shoulder blade. He never knew what hit him.

What are the odds of that? I try to be a good squirrel neighbor, and then I go and nail one with a cracker from 25 feet away. No one's ever going to believe it was an accident, and now I'm going to be having nuts dropped on me every time I go outside.

**KcMizzou** · 11-25-2011, 11:42 PM

listopencil · 11-26-2011, 12:05 AM

I am picturing an intricate web of treaties amongst your local wild animal population. A diabolical system of alliances that will only come to light as events transpire. You, Rainman, have just assassinated the Archduke Ferdinand of the back yard wildlife community. Never mind the squirrels. They are the least of your problems.

listopencil · 11-26-2011, 12:06 AM

May God have mercy on your soul.

**ExtremeChief** · 11-26-2011, 08:06 AM

He probably deserved it. I've always thought that it was a squirrel conspiracy that led to the disappearance of you bike.

**ExtremeChief** · 11-26-2011, 08:07 AM

HonestChieffan · 11-26-2011, 08:14 AM

seeing them tumble out of a tree after getting hit with a super quiet pellet gun shot, then that little bounce of finality is such a great picture. The supply is endless.

whoman69 · 11-26-2011, 09:50 AM

Watch out for this guy

GloryDayz · 11-26-2011, 09:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Misplaced_Chiefs_Fan

Rainman,

It could be worse than you think.

We've intercepted secret footage from the squirrel's headquarters.

Be afraid.

LOL!!!

**bevischief** · 11-26-2011, 09:57 AM

Flame thrower...

GloryDayz · 11-26-2011, 09:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ExtremeChief

LOL, he was looking for food fare and got airfare...

**Bane** · 11-26-2011, 09:59 AM

Had some last night.

**Gonzo** · 11-26-2011, 10:00 AM

They are organized and smart...
One was holding a sign that said, "Remember the Ritz!"
This was what I got to wake up to this morning:

Posted via Mobile Device

burt · 11-26-2011, 11:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

I'm going to be having nuts dropped on me every time I go outside.

RAINMAN: PREPARING TO BE T-BAGGED AND SHIT!

Pasta Little Brioni · 11-26-2011, 11:40 AM

Shaun Smith is a shifter. Guard your nuts!!!

Okie_Apparition · 11-26-2011, 12:56 PM

A plum tree pruning squirrel
There's a poop joke in there somewhere
hanging

11-25-2011, 06:40 PM
Rain Man NFL's #1 Ermines Fan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $3328491 VARSITY	Sixteen years of human-squirrel diplomacy ... gone in an instant. I was in the kitchen today, and saw a squirrel out in our plum tree. For some reason the squirrels like to gnaw on the plum tree's bark, and my wife asked if the squirrel was gnawing. I wasn't sure, but I was eating crackers and decided to throw one out there so the squirrel would have something else to gnaw. So I open the door and wing out a cracker. Now, the plum tree is about 25 feet from our back door, so you really have to put some arm into a cracker to have any hope of it making a distance near the tree. I was aided by the fact that it was one of those denser round crackers as opposed to a saltine or club cracker, so I went sidearm and winged it like frisbee. This thing catches the wind, arcs out and then peels back toward the tree. The plum tree is one of those trees that has a lot of dense branches and twigs and stuff, and this thing stays airborne, zips through the branches ... and nails the squirrel right in the shoulder blade. He never knew what hit him. What are the odds of that? I try to be a good squirrel neighbor, and then I go and nail one with a cracker from 25 feet away. No one's ever going to believe it was an accident, and now I'm going to be having nuts dropped on me every time I go outside.
Posts: 141,405

11-25-2011, 11:42 PM	#46
KcMizzou Supporter Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Parkville MO Casino cash: $10005170
Posts: 54,695

11-26-2011, 12:05 AM	#47
listopencil Immanentize The Eschaton Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: In Partibus Infidelium Casino cash: $2235880	I am picturing an intricate web of treaties amongst your local wild animal population. A diabolical system of alliances that will only come to light as events transpire. You, Rainman, have just assassinated the Archduke Ferdinand of the back yard wildlife community. Never mind the squirrels. They are the least of your problems. __________________ Good friends we have had, oh, good friends we've lost...along the way. In this great future, you can't forget your past. So dry your tears, I say.
Posts: 55,945

11-26-2011, 12:06 AM	#48
listopencil Immanentize The Eschaton Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: In Partibus Infidelium Casino cash: $2235880	May God have mercy on your soul. __________________ Good friends we have had, oh, good friends we've lost...along the way. In this great future, you can't forget your past. So dry your tears, I say.
Posts: 55,945

11-26-2011, 08:06 AM	#49
ExtremeChief Poser Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: BFE, MO Casino cash: $9991344	He probably deserved it. I've always thought that it was a squirrel conspiracy that led to the disappearance of you bike. __________________ When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to the Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.
Posts: 2,354

11-26-2011, 08:07 AM	#50
ExtremeChief Poser Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: BFE, MO Casino cash: $9991344	__________________ When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to the Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.
Posts: 2,354

11-26-2011, 08:14 AM	#51
HonestChieffan Seeking the Truth daily Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: In the Country in MO Casino cash: $2234309	seeing them tumble out of a tree after getting hit with a super quiet pellet gun shot, then that little bounce of finality is such a great picture. The supply is endless. __________________ “Make no mistake. If you try anything to raise the cost of vishessavatubs, I will veto it.” - Joe Biden, SOTU 2023
Posts: 53,345

11-26-2011, 09:57 AM	#54
bevischief .... Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Somewhere Kansas Casino cash: $8659352 VARSITY	Flame thrower...
Posts: 27,731

11-26-2011, 09:59 AM	#56
Bane C.H.I.E.F.S Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: **** your face Casino cash: $10005055	Had some last night.
Posts: 12,621

11-26-2011, 10:00 AM	#57
Gonzo Stuff & Things Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: The Yukon Casino cash: $10126924	They are organized and smart... One was holding a sign that said, "Remember the Ritz!" This was what I got to wake up to this morning: Posted via Mobile Device
Posts: 21,498

11-26-2011, 11:40 AM	#59
Pasta Little Brioni Consuming CP souls Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: U.S.A. Casino cash: $3988880	Shaun Smith is a shifter. Guard your nuts!!! __________________ **Official TFWdemB Trivia Commisioner**
Posts: 68,493

11-26-2011, 12:56 PM	#60
Okie_Apparition Banned Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: floatin cobwebs n the sky Casino cash: $10004900	A plum tree pruning squirrel There's a poop joke in there somewhere hanging
Posts: 7,012