50 rules for girls

[Hammock Parties]

There is some truth in this. But mostly hilarity.

This is directed towards the dumb girls, not the good ones who actually have common sense. So if this pisses you off, you MUST be a dumb girl, lol.

Rule #1: This may look long, but so are your college textbooks, and i guarantee you wont need 80% of that stuff ever. So you really want honesty? Then keep reading.

2. Dressing/acting skanky, posting skanky pics, being a part of the wild drunk party/bar scene.......wont attract good guys. Plain and simple. You may as well take a picture of yourself holding a sign saying "Use me, im free". And dont get mad at guys for staring at you or hitting on you when you dress/act like a hooker. Taking pictures trying to hide your face fat, or belly shows insecurity. The guy is gonna meet you eventually and see for himself you're not skinny! "I dress sexy because i want to, because i like how i feel"......oh come off it. You do it to attract guys. But hot guys dont care, they can get any girl they want! You'll attract the ugly losers.

3. Going out with your girls and trying to attract guys.....not gonna work. You're not approachable. Good guys wont ask you out with all your girls there.

4. Guys know right away whether or not they want you. There is no "get to know" phase for guys. Many girls like to take their time, and thats why guys run off. Honestly, if you feel it, go for it. I know tons of people who dated right away, and lasted years (or still together). All these rules (like, 'you gotta wait 3 days before calling') are so dumb.

5. If me, or anyone, your parents, etc...tell you not to go out and drink or post skanky pics, the first thing many of you will do is run out of the house posting skanky pictures and drinking like fishes, thinking you're soooo cool. No, you're just making yourself look stupid. You're not pissing off anyone.

6. "I like to have fun"..........NO, REALLY?! Please, tell us something else we dont know, lol.

7. Your 'nice guy' friends are the best people for telling you if your new boyfriend is a jerk. (he probably is, your last 5 were, what makes you think this new one wont be). Also, you may want to consider marrying your nice guy friend. When you hit 35, you'll wish you did. "Youre a nice guy and all".....ok, you may wanna consider dating him then.

8. There are 3 kinds of guys you dont want to date: The workaholic/partier who has all the friends, the adrenaline dude who watches sports like ufc and think its the most amazing thing alive (really the most brain damaging thing alive), and the cool guy who shows up at clubs in a beamer and is the life of the party. I know I know, girls say they love guys with tattoos, muscle cars, and piercings...ok, so you like assholes. Many girls will say they like those big tough guys because they feel protected...and what i say is: Protected from what?!

9. Girls ARE difficult and confusing, even many girls know this. I know tons of girls who wont hang out with girls because of that. Everytime a guy is honest with you, you call him a jerk. The moment a guy does the slightest thing wrong, hes an asshole. If a guy is nice to you, hes a pushover. If he doesnt help you, hes a jerk. If he says something good about himself, hes cocky. If he says something bad, hes a pessimist. Its perfectly okay for you to reject a guy, but if a guy rejects you, hes an asshole? Ugh its confusing!

10. "Im so sick of drama and games".......dont lie to yourself. You love it. You live for it. Girls who say that, are typically the ones who love/live for it.

11. "I wont put out on a first date"....oh yes you will. All it takes is some smooth talking. All guys know the easiest way to get a girl is to tell her exactly what she wants to hear, WORD FOR WORD. Girls dont want honesty. The girls who say they wont put out, are the ones who usually do. "If all you want is sex, go to the next profile, you wont get it here".....oh yes, we will. The girls who say that too, are typically the ones who give it easiest.

12. "I have the best friends ever, etc etc"......you probably just scared away every good guy. I cant wait til you wake up in the middle of a drunk guy's bedroom wondering where all your "friends" are. People are only your friends til they screw you over. How many past boyfriends/guys have broken your heart? Hmm, sure sounds like your "friends" are doing a great job watching out for you. Leave the party/bar/drunk scene, and see how many of your "friends" keep talking to you.

13. "I like to have fun once in awhile, i like to go out sometimes".....oh, so theres no other way to have fun or go out without drinking and partying?? "Oh ill have like one or two drinks".....ok, so you have 5-6 drinks. "I go out occasionally".....ok, so you go out every week. Every guy knows this, lol.

14. "Im not all about sex".....oh yes you are. The whole world knows females are way hornier and more perverted than guys are. They just hide it. You'll dump a guy if he isnt good at sex, or if he doesnt want to fool around one night. Why is it okay for you girls to post skanky pics and dump a guy if he isnt good at sex, but if a guy posts a pic of himself with a muscle shirt, or if he wants to screw on a first date, hes suddenly a jerk??? All girls are horny creatures...the moment you have a boyfriend, you're hornier than a porn star! Guys know this, so you're not fooling us by pretending to be innocent.

15. "Hah, ive never been cheated on, used or played"....yeah, because you never found out. "I know tons of great guys!"......No, because if you did, you'd be dating one. "Come on, not all guys are jerks who only care about sex"......dont lie to yourself, sweetheart.

16. "I have strong morals, i wont have sex til im married, i wont give head, bla bla".....oh yes, you will. You're a female, you're naturally a horny creature. All it takes is a guy to smooth talk you, date you and pretend to commit to you, and you'll give him anything he wants. Why do you think girls all love dancing so much? Cuz theyre horny. Why do girls love dressing sexy? Cuz theyre horny. Why do girls make sexual gestures so much? Cuz theyre horny. When a girl fools around with a guy, they act like hypnotized sex slaves. The guy just sits there like hes chillin, and the girl is the one making all the moves, noises, etc. CUZ THEYRE HORNY. 90% of a girl is horny, all it takes is smooth talking to unlock the horny-ness. I dated twice in my life, and both lasted well over 3 years, both told me theyd never do certain things, and within weeks, they did, lol. Why do you think so many guys propose to girls at such a young age? So they can get what they want, cheat behind their back til theyre 35-40, then settle down and commit, because the girl will never find out. Plus, typically the girls who wait to do all that fun stuff, turn into the biggest sluts when they get into their 30s.

17. "Assholes get girls because they have confidence and dont whine!"......because they have no reason to whine. Theyre jerks, and STILL get girls. Sure assholes are confident, but a nice guy wont break your heart or use you. So take your pick. "I just want a nice guy"......no, you want a tall, hot guy to take you out and tell you what you wanna hear.

18. "OMG, ive been cheated and hurt so much"......yes, along every EVERY OTHER GIRL IN THIS WORLD. Get over it, those guys arent worth your time. Though i think, many girls use that as an excuse because they know its believable and they cant handle rejection.

19. "I dont mind staying in"....like hell you do. You're a female, all you want is to go out. Like a girl once told me "if u dont take a girl out, you'll lose her". Ok well, if you dont give head, you'll lose the guy. Ladies, the world isnt going anywhere! Do your parents/grandparents go out everyday? No, yet theyre still married!

20. So you demand a guy whos tall, lean, hot, etc. Umm, looks fade, we all know someone in high school who was ass ugly, and 10 years later is now a model. And many of you are online, what do you expect? Rule of thumb, you shouldnt demand a guy be any taller than you. So if you're 5'4, your BF should be at least 5'4. Demand any taller, and you ARE shallow and superficial.

21. Girls arent in love with their boyfriends, theyre in love with the WORD 'boyfriend'. Girls arent in love, theyre in love with the THOUGHT of being in love. And they watch too many movies and think its reality. Watch your grandparents who've been married for 50+ years, THATS reality.

22. Reality is....Real relationships WILL get boring, have arguments, anger, tears, yelling, jealousy, etc. Yet for some reason, its females who run away the moment all that happens, its females who cant sit and compromise peacefully. The divorce rate is high for a reason. Before you date someone, ask yourself if you can truelly see yourselves with them in 10 years? I see no point to dating, knowing you're gonna break up eventually and hate one another.

23. 'Girls just want to have fun', everybody has heard that phrase...and its so true. Newsflash: The world isnt going anywhere. You have plenty of time to go out. Dont be materialistic, there are people in this world who have NOTHING and are STILL happy. Unfortunately, many girls dont know how to have fun without making themselves look like sex objects, and ignorant. And sorry, but 'true love' and 'fun' are two different things, so pick one or the other!

24. Any person who gets you into those wild drunk, drama scenes...isnt your friend. A true friend wont let you degrade/harm yourself. Its sad, people cant think for themselves, and most people sadly, ARE fake (go out acting like one person, come home acting like another). I cant count how many people I know with PhDs, Masters, who are doing crap jobs now, because of the decisions they made when they were young. You really think that guy you have a crush on, with all those tattoos, who picks fights with everyone and drinks like a fish, is gonna be a great dad and husband in 10 years?

25. Stop saying "omg dont take life seriously, its not serious. Live everyday like its your last, make no regrets, etc". Life is the longest thing you have, and it IS sort of serious (tell me its not, when you're 40 and cant afford your mortgage, taxes, and family). Look how many people are losing their houses now, I guarantee many of those people, 20 years ago were saying "dont take life seriously!".......well, now they are!

[Kyle DeLexus]

Originally Posted by luv

These sound like they're written by a frustrated male.

I actually thought from the first few it was written by a gay guy, then I stopped reading because it wasn't funny and it's long.

[Mr. Krab]

Can someone just pick out the funny ones and quote them because i got tired of looking for one.

[Hammock Parties]

Originally Posted by Mr. Krab's

Can someone just pick out the funny ones and quote them because i got tired of looking for one.

HORNY!

16. "I have strong morals, i wont have sex til im married, i wont give head, bla bla".....oh yes, you will. You're a female, you're naturally a horny creature. All it takes is a guy to smooth talk you, date you and pretend to commit to you, and you'll give him anything he wants.

Why do you think girls all love dancing so much? Cuz theyre horny. Why do girls love dressing sexy? Cuz theyre horny. Why do girls make sexual gestures so much? Cuz theyre horny. When a girl fools around with a guy, they act like hypnotized sex slaves. The guy just sits there like hes chillin, and the girl is the one making all the moves, noises, etc. CUZ THEYRE HORNY. 90% of a girl is horny, all it takes is smooth talking to unlock the horny-ness.

[Discuss Thrower]

Originally Posted by Claythan

HORNY!

Sounds like something Ayatollah Khamanei would say for justifying women being relegated to second class citizen status.

[luv]

Originally Posted by Claythan

HORNY!

The guy better not just be sitting there.

[Kyle DeLexus]

Originally Posted by luv

The guy better not just be sitting there.

Jeez so needy

[Hammock Parties]

Originally Posted by luv

The guy better not just be sitting there.

HORNY!

[Fairplay]

Claythan has women all figured out.

Something very few guys in down the centuries have discovered.

[DJay23]

Originally Posted by Kyle DeLexus

I actually thought from the first few it was written by a gay guy, then I stopped reading because it wasn't funny and it's long.

That or a woman. Too many "lol" at the end of statements that come off as bitchy, as if to say, "I didn't really mean that, I just want a friend!"

[JD10367]

Sounds like it was written by an intellectual and emotional reerun. "lol".

[Dante84]

It sounds like it was written by a bitter 34 year old who's best friends with a girl who just got married. And he probably objected at the wedding. And then got laughed out of the church.

And now masterbates whilst using his tears as lube.

[Kyle DeLexus]

Originally Posted by Dante84

It sounds like it was written by a bitter 34 year old who's best friends with a girl who just got married. And he probably objected at the wedding. And then got laughed out of the church.

And now masterbates whilst using his tears as lube.

Very telling Dante, very telling.

This dude has laid at least ten times, twice without the assistance of GHB. If you want to wait another 27 years, definitely follow his advice.

[wild1]

it's obvious this was written by someone who gets a woman about as often as halley's comet comes through town

[Lonewolf Ed]

Originally Posted by luv

These sound like they're written by a frustrated male.

That, and he doesn't know as much as he thinks he does. There are 3 types of guys, not 2: Nice guys, assholes, and assholes with potential. I listed them in order of which type gets the least action to the most.