Life Hypothetical: You and Early Retirement

**Rain Man** · 05-26-2009, 09:44 PM

Hypothetical: as you're working away one day, a memo from the main office comes around, causing a great deal of excitement.

The memo says that employees with perfect attendance during the past year will enter a drawing (or if you live in England, a drawring) for a great prize. The lucky winner will draw their current pay, with an annual cost of living adjustment, for the rest of their lives in an immediate early retirement.

Well, you like those odds, and so you decide that you're not going to miss any more work. In February, you show up with a bad cold, sneezing on others with good attendance. In April, you show up despite acute appendicitis that requires the receptionist to operate on you with her staple remover, and you alertly don't let them take the appendix to the dumpster since that would technically lower you to 99.99% attendance. In July, you keep your perfect attendance despite getting your hand caught in one of those industrial deli meat slicers. Twice. Because man oh man, that baloney was to good to wait for. In August, you show up despite the rabies scare after being bitten by a petulant hooker. And in December, you show up despite being in a neck brace after an encounter with a drunken mall Santa who was once a backup guard for the Atlanta Falcons.

On December 31st, they throw all the names of perfect attendees into a bucket, and have the local Miss High-Fructose Corn Syrup pageant winner pull out the winner.

It's Debbie Edmondson!

Okay, that's not you, but after a brief search it turns out that Debbie is out sick today, so they draw again.

Holy cow! They drew your name!

So you sign your retirement papers, go home, and look at your first free paycheck. Ahhh, life is good.

How would you fill your free time from here on out?

**Buehler445** · 05-26-2009, 09:54 PM

Probably go to the doctor. That is some scary shit.

JOhn · 05-26-2009, 09:56 PM

Find cleaner hookers

Spott · 05-26-2009, 09:59 PM

Find hookers that can clean.

**TrebMaxx** · 05-26-2009, 10:05 PM

Drink more than 22+ beers a week.

Might not be a good thing.

Demonpenz · 05-26-2009, 10:09 PM

Swim, play guitar, fish, write comedy, all the shit that I can only squeeze into a couple of hours that I am not completely stressed, tired, or in don't give a **** mode because the real world bites the big one

**Skip Towne** · 05-26-2009, 10:10 PM

That basically happened to me. I'm drawing my exe's SS. Bless her for being dead. I appreciate it.

**Bugeater** · 05-26-2009, 10:15 PM

I'd not do shit.

Dante84 · 05-26-2009, 10:30 PM

I would pick up drawring.

**Kyle DeLexus** · 05-26-2009, 10:46 PM

I'd tell you what I'd do man......2 chicks at the same time, man.

05-26-2009, 10:51 PM

I'd find another job or open another business. I'd definitely golf a bit more often and take a few more vacations but I'll work until the day I die. There's no doubt in my mind.

**cdcox** · 05-26-2009, 11:04 PM

This would be awesome. I'd ...

1. Continue to do some research, but only what I wanted to do.

2. Perfect nfl-forecast.com.

3. Cook something really good 3 times a week.

4. Finish remodeling my house... Then start a small business flipping houses. Yeah, the market is all wrong, but if I'm doing most of the labor myself, I'll still get a small hourly wage doing something I enjoy. It's not like I need the business to succeed to eat. I'd also try to find a buddy that was doing the same, since many jobs go better with an extra set of hands. Build up to a dream house in a great location.

5. Learn to be a really good cabinet/furniture maker.

6. Follow college football. It's interesting enough, just not enough time.

7. Follow college basketball.

8. Learn the guitar.

9. Get a dog.

10. Walk the entire Appalachian Trail.

11. Drink coffee outside every morning that the weather is nice.

12. Travel. I could probably do one or two really cool trips per year.

13. Take up the bicycle again.

14. Play chess.

15. Start up home brewing again.

This would be a good start.

Psyko Tek · 05-26-2009, 11:17 PM

get a different motorcycle for every day of the week and pick up the hotbitches!!!

and move to a neighborhood where the chicks get nekked 3 or 4 times a week

Chiefs_Mike_Topeka · 05-27-2009, 12:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phobia

I'd find another job or open another business. I'd definitely golf a bit more often and take a few more vacations but I'll work until the day I die. There's no doubt in my mind.

Your not one of those full of shit people who say they would work even if they hit the Powerball are you?

Ebolapox · 05-27-2009, 01:43 AM

sadly enough, I'd likely keep working. I'm a bit of a workaholic--I've been busting my ass for a while now, and if I had free time, I wouldn't know what to do with myself.

what I'd LIKE to do:

1) read more. I love reading, and I'm so far behind my 'reading list' it's laughable.

2) catch up on all of the shows I've missed over the last umpteen years due to working said ass off.

3) two chicks at the same time. hell, a man can dream, can't he?

4) take up writing as a diversion.

5) travel. love traveling, but don't have the time for it now.

6) maybe a part time job doing something easy enough that I can fit said schedule of things into.

7) sleep in every morning and take a nap every afternoon. I've missed so much sleep the last few years that I'll never catch up without a decent amount of effort.

View Poll Results: What THREE activities would most fill up your free 40 hours per week? (See below.)
I'd work full-time at a new good paying job, even if I was ambivalent about it.	0	0%
I'd work full-time at a new job I enjoyed, even if it didn't pay much.	1	6.25%
I'd work part-time at a new good paying job, even if I was ambivalent about it.	0	0%
I'd work part-time at a new job I enjoyed, even if it didn't pay much.	6	37.50%
I'd do volunteer work.	3	18.75%
I'd develop new hobbies or revive old ones.	10	62.50%
I'd watch TV and movies more often.	4	25.00%
I'd read.	6	37.50%
I'd travel to the extent that my income allowed.	10	62.50%
I'd do some funky project like walk across the U.S.	2	12.50%
I'd surf the Internet more	4	25.00%
I'd learn stocks and bonds and manage my money	2	12.50%
Pornography and stuff. Who am I kidding?	1	6.25%
Exercise.	4	25.00%
Ever see Norm on Cheers?	1	6.25%
Become involved in politics as a candidate or researcher or letter-writer to the editor	2	12.50%
I'd start some kind of hobby business	1	6.25%
Catatonic staring at the walls	2	12.50%
Something else	1	6.25%
I don't know	1	6.25%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 16. You may not vote on this poll

05-26-2009, 09:44 PM
Rain Man NFL's #1 Ermines Fan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $3278491 VARSITY	Hypothetical: You and Early Retirement Hypothetical: as you're working away one day, a memo from the main office comes around, causing a great deal of excitement. The memo says that employees with perfect attendance during the past year will enter a drawing (or if you live in England, a drawring) for a great prize. The lucky winner will draw their current pay, with an annual cost of living adjustment, for the rest of their lives in an immediate early retirement. Well, you like those odds, and so you decide that you're not going to miss any more work. In February, you show up with a bad cold, sneezing on others with good attendance. In April, you show up despite acute appendicitis that requires the receptionist to operate on you with her staple remover, and you alertly don't let them take the appendix to the dumpster since that would technically lower you to 99.99% attendance. In July, you keep your perfect attendance despite getting your hand caught in one of those industrial deli meat slicers. Twice. Because man oh man, that baloney was to good to wait for. In August, you show up despite the rabies scare after being bitten by a petulant hooker. And in December, you show up despite being in a neck brace after an encounter with a drunken mall Santa who was once a backup guard for the Atlanta Falcons. On December 31st, they throw all the names of perfect attendees into a bucket, and have the local Miss High-Fructose Corn Syrup pageant winner pull out the winner. It's Debbie Edmondson! Okay, that's not you, but after a brief search it turns out that Debbie is out sick today, so they draw again. Holy cow! They drew your name! So you sign your retirement papers, go home, and look at your first free paycheck. Ahhh, life is good. How would you fill your free time from here on out?
Posts: 141,475

05-26-2009, 09:54 PM	#2
Buehler445 Supporter Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Scott City KS Casino cash: $2274734	Probably go to the doctor. That is some scary shit.
Posts: 56,796

05-26-2009, 09:56 PM	#3
JOhn El' Barto Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Cody, WY / Tucson AZ Casino cash: $9964900	Find cleaner hookers
Posts: 25,529

05-26-2009, 09:59 PM	#4
Spott Court Jester Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Orlando Casino cash: $3042400	Find hookers that can clean.
Posts: 19,714

05-26-2009, 10:05 PM	#5
TrebMaxx Supporter Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Peoples Republic of CoMo Casino cash: $1437252	Drink more than 22+ beers a week. Might not be a good thing.
Posts: 4,324

05-26-2009, 10:09 PM	#6
Demonpenz I got Rice cookin in the micro Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Apartment "G UNIT!" Casino cash: $3102136	Swim, play guitar, fish, write comedy, all the shit that I can only squeeze into a couple of hours that I am not completely stressed, tired, or in don't give a **** mode because the real world bites the big one __________________
Posts: 54,274

05-26-2009, 10:10 PM	#7
Skip Towne Supporter Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: T-Town Casino cash: $10004900	That basically happened to me. I'm drawing my exe's SS. Bless her for being dead. I appreciate it.
Posts: 69,689

05-26-2009, 10:15 PM	#8
Bugeater The Maintenance Guy Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Renovated Bugeater Estate Casino cash: $6252680	I'd not do shit.
Posts: 70,443

05-26-2009, 10:30 PM	#9
Dante84 Tossed Salad & Scrambled Eggs Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: ATX & OPKS Casino cash: $1741996 VARSITY	I would pick up drawring.
Posts: 19,747

05-26-2009, 10:46 PM	#10
Kyle DeLexus Opie and Anthony XM 105 Join Date: Nov 2008 Casino cash: $10002400	I'd tell you what I'd do man......2 chicks at the same time, man.
Posts: 7,910

05-26-2009, 10:51 PM	#11
Phobia Guest Casino cash: $	I'd find another job or open another business. I'd definitely golf a bit more often and take a few more vacations but I'll work until the day I die. There's no doubt in my mind.
Posts: n/a

05-26-2009, 11:04 PM	#12
cdcox www.nfl-forecast.com Join Date: Sep 2000 Casino cash: $2331769	This would be awesome. I'd ... 1. Continue to do some research, but only what I wanted to do. 2. Perfect nfl-forecast.com. 3. Cook something really good 3 times a week. 4. Finish remodeling my house... Then start a small business flipping houses. Yeah, the market is all wrong, but if I'm doing most of the labor myself, I'll still get a small hourly wage doing something I enjoy. It's not like I need the business to succeed to eat. I'd also try to find a buddy that was doing the same, since many jobs go better with an extra set of hands. Build up to a dream house in a great location. 5. Learn to be a really good cabinet/furniture maker. 6. Follow college football. It's interesting enough, just not enough time. 7. Follow college basketball. 8. Learn the guitar. 9. Get a dog. 10. Walk the entire Appalachian Trail. 11. Drink coffee outside every morning that the weather is nice. 12. Travel. I could probably do one or two really cool trips per year. 13. Take up the bicycle again. 14. Play chess. 15. Start up home brewing again. This would be a good start.
Posts: 45,537

05-26-2009, 11:17 PM	#13
Psyko Tek special teams Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Mesa AZ Casino cash: $10015665	get a different motorcycle for every day of the week and pick up the hotbitches!!! and move to a neighborhood where the chicks get nekked 3 or 4 times a week __________________ Psyko Tek The keyboard has been drinking,
Posts: 12,018

05-27-2009, 01:43 AM	#15
Ebolapox remember, remember Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: como Casino cash: $2049903	sadly enough, I'd likely keep working. I'm a bit of a workaholic--I've been busting my ass for a while now, and if I had free time, I wouldn't know what to do with myself. what I'd LIKE to do: 1) read more. I love reading, and I'm so far behind my 'reading list' it's laughable. 2) catch up on all of the shows I've missed over the last umpteen years due to working said ass off. 3) two chicks at the same time. hell, a man can dream, can't he? 4) take up writing as a diversion. 5) travel. love traveling, but don't have the time for it now. 6) maybe a part time job doing something easy enough that I can fit said schedule of things into. 7) sleep in every morning and take a nap every afternoon. I've missed so much sleep the last few years that I'll never catch up without a decent amount of effort.
Posts: 26,431