What not to do when dealing with police after a routine traffic violation

**alnorth** · 07-01-2007, 09:40 PM

http://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=368307

This guy makes himself out to be a tragic victim of the police, but to me he's a freaking idiot. A living comedy of errors who is just one banana peel away from winning a Darwin award.

Here it is, a step-by-step guide on how to completely F**k up a routine traffic violation where you really did nothing else wrong.

Step 1: After the cop asks if you were drinking or have ever done drugs, say no, but that you did drugs over 10 years ago, and were on pain pills last year.

(I dont know bout you, but I think I would conveniently fail to remember doing drugs over a decade ago. You get no brownie points for being that honest, rather it makes you look over-eager to talk the cop into believing that you dont do drugs.)

Step 2: During a Field Sobriety test, get annoyed halfway through, stop cooperating, and tell the cop that his tests are completely rediculous.

Step 3: After you are arrested for failing the sobriety tests, driven to a hospital, and offered a urine test to possibly clear yourself of any wrongdoing when the results come back, refuse to take that test.

Step 4: After your license is automatically suspended for refusing to take a urine test and the court refuses to admit your own test, accept a plea deal of $1,000 fine, $250 DUI classes, violation on the license for 5 years, and suspended license for 30 days. Pay $8,750 in legal fees and other expenses for a lawyer who didnt do much for your stupid ass, have your insurance cancelled, get high-risk expensive insurance, lose job, fail to find new employment to support pregnant girlfriend.

Step 5: Ask a legal message board if you can "appeal" your plea bargain.

Step 6: Sterilize self to avoid contaminating the gene pool.

So far our friend in the other MB has only completed 5 out of 6. With any luck, he'll find a way to finish the above plan.

DenverChief · 07-01-2007, 09:44 PM

KCChiefsMan · 07-01-2007, 09:49 PM

ya, what a dumbass. I still wouldn't be surprised if the cop was abusing his authority though as it seems to happen often enough

Coach · 07-01-2007, 09:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KCChiefsMan

ya, what a dumbass. I still wouldn't be surprised if the cop was abusing his authority though as it seems to happen often enough

You got a problem with that, pal?

Eleazar · 07-01-2007, 09:51 PM

Even if you are innocent, refusing to cooperate is only going to make things worse.

**Bugeater** · 07-01-2007, 09:55 PM

I always use the word "pig" a lot when I get pulled over. Most cops have a good sense of humor about it.

Eleazar · 07-01-2007, 09:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bugeater

I always use the word "pig" a lot when I get pulled over. Most cops have a good sense of humor about it.

I wonder how often those people get pulled over who have stickers of a pot leaf in the window of their car, or those bumper stickers that say something like "got beer?" or "bad cop, no donut"

07-01-2007, 09:40 PM
alnorth . Join Date: Dec 2002 Casino cash: $57166239	What not to do when dealing with police after a routine traffic violation http://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=368307 This guy makes himself out to be a tragic victim of the police, but to me he's a freaking idiot. A living comedy of errors who is just one banana peel away from winning a Darwin award. Here it is, a step-by-step guide on how to completely F**k up a routine traffic violation where you really did nothing else wrong. Step 1: After the cop asks if you were drinking or have ever done drugs, say no, but that you did drugs over 10 years ago, and were on pain pills last year. (I dont know bout you, but I think I would conveniently fail to remember doing drugs over a decade ago. You get no brownie points for being that honest, rather it makes you look over-eager to talk the cop into believing that you dont do drugs.) Step 2: During a Field Sobriety test, get annoyed halfway through, stop cooperating, and tell the cop that his tests are completely rediculous. Step 3: After you are arrested for failing the sobriety tests, driven to a hospital, and offered a urine test to possibly clear yourself of any wrongdoing when the results come back, refuse to take that test. Step 4: After your license is automatically suspended for refusing to take a urine test and the court refuses to admit your own test, accept a plea deal of $1,000 fine, $250 DUI classes, violation on the license for 5 years, and suspended license for 30 days. Pay $8,750 in legal fees and other expenses for a lawyer who didnt do much for your stupid ass, have your insurance cancelled, get high-risk expensive insurance, lose job, fail to find new employment to support pregnant girlfriend. Step 5: Ask a legal message board if you can "appeal" your plea bargain. Step 6: Sterilize self to avoid contaminating the gene pool. So far our friend in the other MB has only completed 5 out of 6. With any luck, he'll find a way to finish the above plan.
Posts: 36,130

07-01-2007, 09:44 PM	#2
DenverChief MVP Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Rocky Ford Casino cash: $5829867
Posts: 16,166

07-01-2007, 09:49 PM	#3
KCChiefsMan AIC Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: West Roxbury, MA Casino cash: $10004900	ya, what a dumbass. I still wouldn't be surprised if the cop was abusing his authority though as it seems to happen often enough
Posts: 11,478

07-01-2007, 09:51 PM	#5
Eleazar Beyond the Rapids Join Date: May 2003 Location: Langley, VA Casino cash: $-370000	Even if you are innocent, refusing to cooperate is only going to make things worse.
Posts: 80,659

07-01-2007, 09:55 PM	#6
Bugeater The Maintenance Guy Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Renovated Bugeater Estate Casino cash: $6242680	I always use the word "pig" a lot when I get pulled over. Most cops have a good sense of humor about it.
Posts: 70,443