Catricide - Page 4

Zebedee DuBois · 08-03-2005, 06:03 PM

I want to commit catracide.

We have a cat that thinks outside the box too often. I don't think this animal has any redeeming characteristics. It is afraid of the outdoors. It is afraid of mice. It might beat up on a cricket. It considers the litter box as just one of many options. It needs to die.

Of course, there are other family members that seem to think the cat is cute.

Thus, I need to find a way to dispatch the cat and yet have it look like natural causes, or at least like I didn't have anything to do with it's demise. That means the corpse can't be mutilated or wet...and I can't have any incriminating scratch marks. If I could do the deed, and then leave the body on the stairs or somewhere for someone else to discover....that should dispell suspicions.

I've thought of putting her in a cooler and displacing the air with nitrogen or some other gas.

Any ideas?

For those of you that have tender feelings for felines, pretend I said "Bronco lover".

Any ideas?

Frosty · 08-03-2005, 08:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zebedee DuBois

No, the cat peed on the clean clothes in the clean clothes basket being taken from the laundry room to the bedroom.

Sometimes, failure to use the litter box can be a sign of bladder or other urinary tract problems. Don't know what difference it makes to the cat. We had a cat who suddenly started peeing in the bathtub. Turns out it had some kind of urinary tract cancer (I don't remember the details) and we had to put it to sleep not long after (it wasn't curable).

**Dartgod** · 08-03-2005, 08:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gblowfish

Hey you wild and wacky CP guys and gals. Let's have some fun figuring out how we can torture and kill house cats. Ha ha ha....boy I just love talking about this stuff.

I'd really like to kill a little 15 pound animal that loves me and trusts me and sometimes doesn't understand human rules. Hey, let's see what the State says about it. I bet they think killing house cats is big fun too!

http://www.animal-law.org/statutes/missouri.htm

Well, gee. what a bunch of killjoys. Since we can't legally torture our cats, let's enjoy some pictures of other people that have starved, burned, injured, or left their pets to die. Oh these'll be hysterical. HOO HOO HEE, yeah, that's real funny stuff right there!

Maybe I can do this to my kids or my parents too. I mean, if its fun with cats, its probably five or six times more fun with family!

Lighten up, Francis.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zebedee DuBois

I doubt I would ever actually commit the catricide. I have been using this forum to vent a little. I have had several pets over the years and they can be like people. Some are great, some are quirky, and some are just not contributing much. But I have always stuck through the troublesome ones before (except maybe some fish - but people don't get all teary eyed for non mammals.)

Taco John · 08-03-2005, 08:32 PM

A couple of things...

1. Some cat owners may not be aware of the fact that misbehaviour is often caused by illness. A cat that is not using the litter box may be sick and should see a vet, if only to rule out a medical problem. For example, it is common for male cats to develop feline urinary syndrome, which involves inflammation of the bladder and urethra and the formation of urinary stones and plugs, causing painful obstruction of the urethra. Signs of this condition are frequent attempts to urinate and straining to do so, and possibly traces of blood in the urine. A cat suffering from this will continually try to urinate outside of the box out of comfort. Litter box problems can also be a sign of various other illnesses... It might be worth a visit to the vet... They might even help figure out the problem...

Cat misbehaviour is almost always due to environmental concerns...

It also can be an emotional/anxiety/stress problem... A sudden change in the family routine that stresses the cat out... A death in the family, divorce, a kid leaving home, a kid returning home, mistreatment by a family member, etc. This type of problem can be solved with some extra attention to the cat.

The other issue, and this one sounds like it *could* be it, is senseing one or more strange cats close by. Occassionally a house cat will see another cat from the window roaming into his territory. This is very upsetting to some cats, but will usually cause them to soil areas close to the door.

The other issue is that your previous cat might have sprayed certain areas of your house without your knowledge, and the cat is smelling it and asserting itself against the offending cat. It's always a good idea to steam your carpets in between owning animals, and maybe even washing the walls.

Another thing is it might help to change to another brand of kitty litter. I preferred the crystals when my cat was using the litter box. Kitty seemed to like them as well...

If you catch your cat in the action, raising a ruckus and yelling "NO" and only "NO" (no other words... He needs to learn NO and associate it with bad behaviour). Some will say not to spank... Personally, I think that's bunk. Animals understand phycicality if they understand anything, and I've had much success with a good spanking while blurting a firm NO. I love my animals, but I'm not against giving them "living with me" lessons. I've had to spank my cat twice for peeing. He got the message loud and clear and he's never done it since. Only do this if you catch them though. Otherwise they won't associate their actions, and all you are doing is making them hate you. And always... an hour after a spanking, cuddle them and let them know you're alright. Coo them and they'll learn that you're not just the disciplinarian, but a loving member of the family that they can trust. They'll slowly let go of the association of you as the bad guy and associate the spanking with their misbehaviour. Like I say, most people will find the idea of spanking a cat abhorrent... All I can say is my cat uses the toilet, and cuddles in my lap every single day to get his daily affection. I love the animal and would do anything to keep him around for as long as possible... provided he keeps his end of the bargain and obeys the rules he KNOWS exist. And believe me, you... he knows.

Good luck.

jiveturkey · 08-03-2005, 08:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Taco John

A couple of things...

1. Some cat owners may not be aware of the fact that misbehaviour is often caused by illness. A cat that is not using the litter box may be sick and should see a vet, if only to rule out a medical problem. For example, it is common for male cats to develop feline urinary syndrome, which involves inflammation of the bladder and urethra and the formation of urinary stones and plugs, causing painful obstruction of the urethra. Signs of this condition are frequent attempts to urinate and straining to do so, and possibly traces of blood in the urine. A cat suffering from this will continually try to urinate outside of the box out of comfort. Litter box problems can also be a sign of various other illnesses... It might be worth a visit to the vet... They might even help figure out the problem...

Cat misbehaviour is almost always due to environmental concerns...

It also can be an emotional/anxiety/stress problem... A sudden change in the family routine that stresses the cat out... A death in the family, divorce, a kid leaving home, a kid returning home, mistreatment by a family member, etc. This type of problem can be solved with some extra attention to the cat.

The other issue, and this one sounds like it *could* be it, is senseing one or more strange cats close by. Occassionally a house cat will see another cat from the window roaming into his territory. This is very upsetting to some cats, but will usually cause them to soil areas close to the door.

The other issue is that your previous cat might have sprayed certain areas of your house without your knowledge, and the cat is smelling it and asserting itself against the offending cat. It's always a good idea to steam your carpets in between owning animals, and maybe even washing the walls.

Another thing is it might help to change to another brand of kitty litter. I preferred the crystals when my cat was using the litter box. Kitty seemed to like them as well...

If you catch your cat in the action, raising a ruckus and yelling "NO" and only "NO" (no other words... He needs to learn NO and associate it with bad behaviour). Some will say not to spank... Personally, I think that's bunk. Animals understand phycicality if they understand anything, and I've had much success with a good spanking while blurting a firm NO. I love my animals, but I'm not against giving them "living with me" lessons. I've had to spank my cat twice for peeing. He got the message loud and clear and he's never done it since. Only do this if you catch them though. Otherwise they won't associate their actions, and all you are doing is making them hate you. And always... an hour after a spanking, cuddle them and let them know you're alright. Coo them and they'll learn that you're not just the disciplinarian, but a loving member of the family that they can trust. They'll slowly let go of the association of you as the bad guy and associate the spanking with their misbehaviour. Like I say, most people will find the idea of spanking a cat abhorrent... All I can say is my cat uses the toilet, and cuddles in my lap every single day to get his daily affection. I love the animal and would do anything to keep him around for as long as possible... provided he keeps his end of the bargain and obeys the rules he KNOWS exist. And believe me, you... he knows.

Good luck.

Thank you Dr. Phil.

After the break we'll be talking with Dr. Warson who happens to be a real vet.

Taco John · 08-03-2005, 08:41 PM

Actually, a vet is a medical doctor. That's quite different from an Animal Behaviourist. I'm admittedly an amatuer at that, but one with a well established track record of results. I know the fundamentals, because I've read several books. But my practice is limited to my own pets and the advice that I've given to friends on their animals problems...

jiveturkey · 08-03-2005, 08:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Taco John

Actually, a vet is a medical doctor. That's quite different from an Animal Behaviourist. I'm admittedly an amatuer at that, but one with a well established track record of results. I know the fundamentals, because I've read several books. But my practice is limited to my own pets and the advice that I've given to friends on their animals problems...

The advise actually makes a lot of sense.

I was just giving you a little kick to the nuts.

**Rain Man** · 08-03-2005, 08:44 PM

I wonder if my ex-boss would drink a bowl of antifreeze.

Taco John · 08-03-2005, 08:45 PM

I'm wearing a lead cup, biatch!

jiveturkey · 08-03-2005, 08:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

I wonder if my ex-boss would drink a bowl of antifreeze.

You aparently didn't watch the safety slide show on tortured bosses and the effect that it has on the children.

jiveturkey · 08-03-2005, 08:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Taco John

I'm wearing a lead cup, biatch!

I heard that lead doesn't breath well.

Zebedee DuBois · 08-03-2005, 08:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

I wonder if my ex-boss would drink a bowl of antifreeze.

Evidently you are supposed to mix it with his tuna, but don't tell gblowfish.

Taco John · 08-03-2005, 08:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

I wonder if my ex-boss would drink a bowl of antifreeze.

Have you tried urinating in his hamper?

jiveturkey · 08-03-2005, 08:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zebedee DuBois

Evidently you are supposed to mix it with his tuna, but don't tell gblowfish.

Is that they guy incharge of safety demonstrations?

**Skip Towne** · 08-03-2005, 08:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

If people were more like cats, the world would be a lot better place for everyone except mice.

I'll bet if it came down to a vote, the family would elect to keep the cat over Zebedee.

Yeah, well, you're always championing the cat industry.

4th and Long · 08-03-2005, 08:51 PM

Has anyone suggested just buying a big dog to keep in the house? That will make a better pet and it will take care of your other problem as well.

08-03-2005, 06:03 PM
Zebedee DuBois Veteran Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: floating in a tin can Casino cash: $1845199	Catricide I want to commit catracide. We have a cat that thinks outside the box too often. I don't think this animal has any redeeming characteristics. It is afraid of the outdoors. It is afraid of mice. It might beat up on a cricket. It considers the litter box as just one of many options. It needs to die. Of course, there are other family members that seem to think the cat is cute. Thus, I need to find a way to dispatch the cat and yet have it look like natural causes, or at least like I didn't have anything to do with it's demise. That means the corpse can't be mutilated or wet...and I can't have any incriminating scratch marks. If I could do the deed, and then leave the body on the stairs or somewhere for someone else to discover....that should dispell suspicions. I've thought of putting her in a cooler and displacing the air with nitrogen or some other gas. Any ideas? For those of you that have tender feelings for felines, pretend I said "Bronco lover". Any ideas?
Posts: 3,757

08-03-2005, 08:32 PM	#48
Taco John Sapere Aude Join Date: Jun 2001 Casino cash: $3487937	A couple of things... 1. Some cat owners may not be aware of the fact that misbehaviour is often caused by illness. A cat that is not using the litter box may be sick and should see a vet, if only to rule out a medical problem. For example, it is common for male cats to develop feline urinary syndrome, which involves inflammation of the bladder and urethra and the formation of urinary stones and plugs, causing painful obstruction of the urethra. Signs of this condition are frequent attempts to urinate and straining to do so, and possibly traces of blood in the urine. A cat suffering from this will continually try to urinate outside of the box out of comfort. Litter box problems can also be a sign of various other illnesses... It might be worth a visit to the vet... They might even help figure out the problem... Cat misbehaviour is almost always due to environmental concerns... It also can be an emotional/anxiety/stress problem... A sudden change in the family routine that stresses the cat out... A death in the family, divorce, a kid leaving home, a kid returning home, mistreatment by a family member, etc. This type of problem can be solved with some extra attention to the cat. The other issue, and this one sounds like it could be it, is senseing one or more strange cats close by. Occassionally a house cat will see another cat from the window roaming into his territory. This is very upsetting to some cats, but will usually cause them to soil areas close to the door. The other issue is that your previous cat might have sprayed certain areas of your house without your knowledge, and the cat is smelling it and asserting itself against the offending cat. It's always a good idea to steam your carpets in between owning animals, and maybe even washing the walls. Another thing is it might help to change to another brand of kitty litter. I preferred the crystals when my cat was using the litter box. Kitty seemed to like them as well... If you catch your cat in the action, raising a ruckus and yelling "NO" and only "NO" (no other words... He needs to learn NO and associate it with bad behaviour). Some will say not to spank... Personally, I think that's bunk. Animals understand phycicality if they understand anything, and I've had much success with a good spanking while blurting a firm NO. I love my animals, but I'm not against giving them "living with me" lessons. I've had to spank my cat twice for peeing. He got the message loud and clear and he's never done it since. Only do this if you catch them though. Otherwise they won't associate their actions, and all you are doing is making them hate you. And always... an hour after a spanking, cuddle them and let them know you're alright. Coo them and they'll learn that you're not just the disciplinarian, but a loving member of the family that they can trust. They'll slowly let go of the association of you as the bad guy and associate the spanking with their misbehaviour. Like I say, most people will find the idea of spanking a cat abhorrent... All I can say is my cat uses the toilet, and cuddles in my lap every single day to get his daily affection. I love the animal and would do anything to keep him around for as long as possible... provided he keeps his end of the bargain and obeys the rules he KNOWS exist. And believe me, you... he knows. Good luck. __________________ Ehyeh asher ehyeh. Donger's Razor: "The most establishment-friendly explanation that gives leftist and neocon politicians the most amount of cover is the only possible explanation, even when gaping holes and leaps of logic are required to get there."
Posts: 77,989

08-03-2005, 08:41 PM	#50
Taco John Sapere Aude Join Date: Jun 2001 Casino cash: $3487937	Actually, a vet is a medical doctor. That's quite different from an Animal Behaviourist. I'm admittedly an amatuer at that, but one with a well established track record of results. I know the fundamentals, because I've read several books. But my practice is limited to my own pets and the advice that I've given to friends on their animals problems... __________________ Ehyeh asher ehyeh. Donger's Razor: "The most establishment-friendly explanation that gives leftist and neocon politicians the most amount of cover is the only possible explanation, even when gaping holes and leaps of logic are required to get there."
Posts: 77,989

08-03-2005, 08:44 PM	#52
Rain Man NFL's #1 Ermines Fan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $3278491 VARSITY	I wonder if my ex-boss would drink a bowl of antifreeze. __________________ I'm putting random letters here as a celebration of free speech: xigrakgrah misorojeq rkemeseit.
Posts: 141,479

08-03-2005, 08:45 PM	#53
Taco John Sapere Aude Join Date: Jun 2001 Casino cash: $3487937	I'm wearing a lead cup, biatch! __________________ Ehyeh asher ehyeh. Donger's Razor: "The most establishment-friendly explanation that gives leftist and neocon politicians the most amount of cover is the only possible explanation, even when gaping holes and leaps of logic are required to get there."
Posts: 77,989

08-03-2005, 08:51 PM	#60
4th and Long Wheeeeee!!! Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: In a house Casino cash: $9314925	Has anyone suggested just buying a big dog to keep in the house? That will make a better pet and it will take care of your other problem as well. __________________
Posts: 19,788