Why People Who Hate Tim Tebow Hate Tim Tebow

[KC native]

oh and eat a dick if repost.
http://deadspin.com/5868487/why-peop...hate-tim-tebow

Tim Tebow is not an underdog. It's important to remind people of that every now and again because the established media narrative for Tebow these days is that no one ever believed in him, that he arrived on the Broncos' doorstep as an aborted three-month-old fetus and, through the power of SuperJesus, built himself up from scratch into the some kind of magical fourth quarter leper messiah. In truth, Tebow is only an underdog if you consider two factors:

1.) His throwing mechanics

2.) The fact that his new team president and head coach didn't really want him

That's what Tebow had going against him this season. If you want to turn him into football's David Eckstein because of those two things, be my guest. You'd merely be overlooking the fact that Eli Sunday here is a world-class athlete, a two-time national champion, a Heisman Trophy winner, a first round draft pick, and a ****ing millionaire. You'd also be overlooking the incredible amount of fan support that Tebow has gotten from Denver fans, Christians and non-Christians alike, during his entire professional career. Any other athlete in that position would be EXPECTED to succeed. Perhaps not in such dramatic fashion, but they'd certainly be expected to play well and win games. But somehow, because this is Tebow, the narrative is HOLY SHIT! CAN YOU BELIEVE LITTLE TIMMY TEBOW HAS BEEN ABLE TO PULL THIS OFF?! IT MUST BE THE WORK OF OUR BENEVOLENT CLOUD GOD!

That kind of thinking does a disservice to both fans and to Tebow himself, who is playing well late in games ON HIS OWN, and not because Invisible Jesus is standing behind him at all times, like a pervert golf instructor helping your wife with her swing. Trust me: there are plenty of tardbillies out there who think the latter scenario is the case, as evidenced by reader Matt:

This was taken from a girl's Facebook status, if not obvious.

"Inspiring, mentally tough, full of hope and humble beyond belief! God really is using Tim Tebow. AMAZING!"

I have no problem with Tebow except for this type of annoying analysis that people feel the need to share.

That's basically the whole Tebow thing in a nutshell. No card-carrying Tebow-hater like me has that much of a problem with Tim Tebow as a person. On his own, Tebow is a fairly harmless little goody-goody. And this Broncos run has been fun to watch. I even like it when Eisen and Deion do the TEBOW chant on the postgame show. It's all the bullshit SURROUNDING Tebow that many of us can't stand. It's people like Peter King essentially saying that there's no rational explanation for Tebow's success when there are PLENTY of rational explanations for it, namely the fact that he's a first-round pick blessed with incredible athletic ability. It's political pollsters asking Iowans about Tebow in a phone survey. It's all the unnecessary dreck that comes with and ruins what Tebow is doing, like this Rick Reilly column, which is worse than pancreatic cancer.

And yes, it's also a matter of faith. I grew up in the first Golden Age of Religious Hypocrisy (we're currently living in the second), with Jim Bakker and Jimmy Swaggart disgracing themselves because they loved pussy and skimming from the collection plate more than they loved the Lord. I am conditioned by my upbringing to regard all outward displays of faith with a healthy dose of skepticism, and I don't think that's a bad thing. History has proven time and again that the people who actively flaunt their faith usually end up being full of shit.

Tim Tebow may be the World's Most Perfect Christian. He may bless every sneeze and have successfully abstained from jerking off his whole adult life (not likely). But I've seen plenty of supposedly perfect Christians in my time that end up being the FREAKIEST ****ERS ON EARTH, so you'll excuse me if I choose to believe that Tebow secretly watches hentai alien octopus porn when no one is looking. Here's some idiot yammering on about Tebow being a great role model for his kid. Dude, you don't KNOW Tim Tebow. "Nobody knows anybody, not that well." All you know is the Tebow brand, and that isn't enough. Seriously, how many times are people going to be suckered into the myth of the Perfect Sports Role Model?

Not only is it OK to root against Tim Tebow, it's practically your duty as cynical American. Hating on Tebow means rebelling against the same media bullshit generator that made superhumans out of the likes of Tiger Woods and Brett Favre. It's saying a gigantic **** YOU to anyone who thinks you're a cold-hearted, football-hating miser for not BELIEVING in Tebow. For not "enjoying the ride." For not letting go and giving in to his wily Christian charms and ability to produce rainbows in the shape of a crucifix during the fourth quarter. Hating on Tebow means subscribing to the idea that the ****er is human, which is a much more accurate and boring story than the current myth being erected.

So yeah, I hope that the Broncos lose their final three games by 30 points each and Marmalard ends up winning the division. Because even though Philip Rivers is a devout Christian, no one's gonna declare his backing into the AFC West title a miracle.

[gblowfish]

Who cares? He's a donk. Nuff said.

[Frankie]

Originally Posted by KC native

Why People Who Hate Tim Tebow Hate Tim Tebow

Because they are Godless heathens.

[KC native]

Originally Posted by gblowfish

Who cares? He's a donk. Nuff said.

Yea, that's good enough for me but I thought this was hilarious so I decided to share.

[HemiEd]

I hate him because I am already sick of hearing about him, similar to Favre. I can't wait until he comes crashing down to reality. The Bears, more specifically Marion Barber, absolutely gave him that win last week, a gift.

[Demonpenz]

Haters going to hate.

[Scorp]

I hate him because he is a virgin.(allegedly)

[Micjones]

Originally Posted by Demonpenz

Haters going to hate.

Basically.

Nail him to the wall for his religious convictions because you don't ascribe to them. But Christian people hold the monopoly on intolerance? Tah...

I hate him for one reason only: He plays for the Denver Broncos.

[Baby Lee]

That is a psychopathic article. He could've summed it up in one sentence.

"I hate Tim Tebow because he raises religious peoples' spirits, and I hate religious people, for no discernible reason other than a few in the past have failed to live up to their standards."

And WTF kind of logic is "you must hate Tebow with all your might to establish that he's a normal person"

[Micjones]

Originally Posted by Baby Lee

That is a psychopathic article. He could've summed it up in one sentence.

"I hate Tim Tebow because he raises religious peoples' spirits, and I hate religious people, for no discernible reason other than a few in the past have failed to live up to their standards."

And WTF kind of logic is "you must hate Tebow with all your might to establish that he's a normal person"

Thread.

[gblowfish]

This:

[DBOSHO]

I wanted Tebow to succeed, because I believe everyone underestimated his ability to win.

I think he gets far too much credit for these last few wins. The other offense makes an incredibly stupid mistake(s) at the very end of games, he drives his team down the field for prater to kick 50+ yd fieldgoals and ESPN is on his dick for the following week.

I thought Once he found himself in the middle of a game when he had to answer score after score he would get exposed, but thats what happened in the minnesota game. Unless new englands pass defense is absolutely putrid(i wouldnt put it past them), the tebow train stops this week.

[vailpass]

Originally Posted by Micjones

Thread.

X2

[vailpass]

Originally Posted by DBOSHO

I wanted Tebow to succeed, because I believe everyone underestimated his ability to win.

I think he gets far too much credit for these last few wins. The other offense makes an incredibly stupid mistake(s) at the very end of games, he drives his team down the field for prater to kick 50+ yd fieldgoals and ESPN is on his dick for the following week.

I thought Once he found himself in the middle of a game when he had to answer score after score he would get exposed, but thats what happened in the minnesota game. Unless new englands pass defense is absolutely putrid(i wouldnt put it past them), the tebow train stops this week.

Broncos will probably be starting 3 rookies in the defensive backfield due to injured starters. IMHO even if NE's backfield is horrible it won't be much weaker than ours and NE will roll.

[Mr. Laz]

Originally Posted by DBOSHO

I wanted Tebow to succeed, because I believe everyone underestimated his ability to win.

You wanted a Donk to succeed?


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