Man's blunt obituary goes viral

[DenverChief]

I think I might want to have an obit like this

DENVER - Michael Blanchard's life is becoming one of the most shared topics on the internet.


He wasn't a popular man until his obit showed up in the Denver Post.
That's where the man known as "Flathead" was remembered as a stubborn man who loved booze, younger women and cars "until the day that he died."


The eulogy printed in Thursday's edition didn't stop there.


It says Blanchard died "as a result of being stubborn and refusing to follow doctors' orders and raising hell for more than six decades."
It also listed his cat "Chopper" among his sons, described childhood friends as growing up to become criminals, prostitutes, and/or Democrats.
Blanchard lived his life in the metro area, and died nearly a year ago from colon cancer.


His family decided to wait until now to have his memorial and just placed the obit.


Blanchard himself wrote a rough draft of how he wanted to be remembered, and his family put the finishing touches on it.
His memorial will be held on Saturday, but the obit recommended against bringing children because the stories he can no longer tell will probably contain adult material.


His full obituary in The Denver Post reads:


"A Celebration of the life of Michael "Flathead" Blanchard will be held on April 14, 3 p.m. 8160 Rosemary St, Commerce City. Weary of reading obituaries noting someone's courageous battle with death, Mike wanted it known that he died as a result of being stubborn, refusing to follow doctors' orders and raising hell for more than six decades. He enjoyed booze, guns, cars and younger women until the day he died.


"Mike was born July 1944 in Colorado to Clyde and Ethel Blanchard. A community activist, he is noted for saving the Dr. Justina Ford house from demolition and defending those who could not defend themselves. He was a Republican delegate, life member of the NRA, founder and President of the Dead Cats MC. He loved music.


"Mike was preceded in death by Clyde and Ethel Blanchard, survived by his beloved sons Mike and Chopper, former wife Jane Transue, brother Stephen Blanchard (Susan), Uncle Don and Aunt Cynthia Blanchard(his favorite); Uncle Dill and Aunt Dot, cousins and nephews, Baba Yaga can kiss his butt. So many of his childhood friends that weren't killed in Vietnam went on to become criminals, prostitutes and/or Democrats. He asks that you stop by and re-tell the stories he can no longer tell. As the Celebration will contain Adult material we respectfully ask that no children under 18 attend."

http://www.9news.com/news/article/26...ry-goes-viral-

[KCrockaholic]

Would be pretty cool if the world was more honest like this.

Yeah, I've read some complete crap in obits. For example a guy a couple years younger than me - younger brother of a classmate recently offed himself. His obit contained such gems as the following: "xxxxx's joy and enthusiasm for life and love for others is legendary, but nothing when compared to his love for and devotion to his son, yyyyyyy. yyyyyyy was the center of xxxxx's world and xxxxx committed to fatherhood with the same passion he brought to everything."

Yeah. Don't think so. Not when you bump yourself off. Clearly the son was the LAST of his concerns.

[Bwana]

Originally Posted by DenverChief

I think I might want to have an obit like this



http://www.9news.com/news/article/26...ry-goes-viral-

That's great.

[Extra Point]

Filthy Republican!/CP Dem Finger Pointers in DC Forum

[BoneKrusher]

Originally Posted by Bwana

That's great.

times two.

[Pasta Little Brioni]

They'll play Far Behind by Candlebox for his eulogy.

[Easy 6]

I particularly like the part about 'his friends that didnt die in Vietnam went on to become criminals, prostitutes and/or democrats'.

[SPATCH]

Originally Posted by PGM

They'll play Far Behind by Candlebox for his eulogy.

EB&D rep

honestly though, this guy sounds like a worthless asshole.

[bevischief]

The question is did he die in his sleep...?

I just want to fade away.

[J Diddy]

Meh. I have seen better.


Needs more cowbell.

[whoman69]

I wondering if one of our right wing posters will unexplainedly stop posting in the DC forum.

[Demonpenz]

Here at Demonpenz services we have 3 default obits to satisfy your dead Chiefsplanet members dreams of being dead, but being maxed out on Rep

1 (Planet member) used ball powder, survived tornados, wouldn't have drafted Dexter so high, **** KU. He was ever so loving of Rich Scanlon. He is survived by his dogs Zubaz pants


2 (planet member) Was the life of the party at (chiefs tailgate-nzoner bash-random event) Unfortunately couldn't make it to the springfield party. he/she will always be remembered for the smile on their face, and their refusal to accept that you need a franchise QB to win a superbowl. He/She loved cats, often took life in stride with a grammer mistake here and there, and proudly claimed "Your an Idiot!" after someone posted that import cars are better than Chevy Cameros.

3: Rock Chalk Jayhawk (Chiefsplanet member) Also loved the Yankees and other front runners. Originally from Missouri he/she dabbled quite heavily in meth until being arrested for stealing painkillers from CVS in 04. He/She will proudly be remembered for having a helping hand in delivering lethal doses of Antifreeze to animals. He/She also loved his/her family. Jim/James/Jim and often called him by his nickname "Dad" He/She will be burried in a "Big Johnson shirt" with custom letters on it that say "TO THE CHAMPIONSHIP!"

4: (Chiefsplanet member) Often trolled with great delight as he sat around wondering why his/her life was so bad, often calling girls "slam pieces" he/she never grew up and always talked about banging 10's and driving a Star Wars painted Van. His right hand has been cut off after death and been sent in to scientists to see if it in fact is the most ****ed hand in the history of man kind. The people who knew him called him a Dreamer, a talker, and a person who was alive at one point in time.

[Bowser]

Originally Posted by Demonpenz

Here at Demonpenz services we have 3 default obits to satisfy your dead Chiefsplanet members dreams of being dead, but being maxed out on Rep

1 (Planet member) used ball powder, survived tornados, wouldn't have drafted Dexter so high, **** KU. He was ever so loving of Rich Scanlon. He is survived by his dogs Zubaz pants


2 (planet member) Was the life of the party at (chiefs tailgate-nzoner bash-random event) Unfortunately couldn't make it to the springfield party. he/she will always be remembered for the smile on their face, and their refusal to accept that you need a franchise QB to win a superbowl. He/She loved cats, often took life in stride with a grammer mistake here and there, and proudly claimed "Your an Idiot!" after someone posted that import cars are better than Chevy Cameros.

3: Rock Chalk Jayhawk (Chiefsplanet member) Also loved the Yankees and other front runners. Originally from Missouri he/she dabbled quite heavily in meth until being arrested for stealing painkillers from CVS in 04. He/She will proudly be remembered for having a helping hand in delivering lethal doses of Antifreeze to animals. He/She also loved his/her family. Jim/James/Jim and often called him by his nickname "Dad" He/She will be burried in a "Big Johnson shirt" with custom letters on it that say "TO THE CHAMPIONSHIP!"

4: (Chiefsplanet member) Often trolled with great delight as he sat around wondering why his/her life was so bad, often calling girls "slam pieces" he/she never grew up and always talked about banging 10's and driving a Star Wars painted Van. His right hand has been cut off after death and been sent in to scientists to see if it in fact is the most ****ed hand in the history of man kind. The people who knew him called him a Dreamer, a talker, and a person who was alive at one point in time.

[Demonpenz]

I thought that post was better than one ****ing laugh