The Chiefsplanet Peoplewatching Thread

[Rain Man]

I often see or hear people saying or doing things that I find intriguing, but it's not quite worth making a thread about. I figure that other people might have the same experiences. Therefore, I hope that this thread can become a clearinghouse for those little observations that might not otherwise make the cut.

My first two would be:

1. I went to the optometrist today to get my eyes checked. In the waiting room, a family came in and sat next to me: a mother, a girl of about 13 or 14, and two young boys. The mother is talking on the phone and scolding the boys who are out of control, and then the teenage girl came over to her mother. She's got both hands up near her face, and asks the mother, "What is this?" My initial thinking was that it was something in her eye since we were, after all, in an optometrist's office. Then the girl says, "I thought it was a pimple, but I'm trying to pop it and nothing's coming out."

Where is your shame, young girl? Where is your shame?


2. I came back to the office, and got a cell phone call while I was in my lobby. I was standing there taking the call when this skanky, meth-looking woman in a tank top came in. She got in the elevator and departed toward the heavens. The thing that was most noticeable about her, other than the skanky part, was that she was wearing no supportive garments above the waist, and she badly, badly needed to be wearing them. (Not large, either - envision an inverted champagne flute made out of Slinky.) I finished my call and rode the elevator up myself, and when I got off on my floor, the woman was in the front lobby of the other company on my floor filling out a job application. I really think that a skanky-looking person with bosoms befitting a National Geographic photo should consider wearing a bra or something whilst going in to apply for a job.

Please feel free to post your own minor observations here in the future.

[pr_capone]

Originally Posted by Toad King

I've been a geek since I was 10. That's not surprising at all. While other dudes were trying to get laid I was reading Tolkien and Crichton.

Never could get into Crichton. All about Tolkien though. From the ages of 13-18 I must have read the 4 books no less than 25 times.

[Inspector]

Saw something very weird this morning. Just as I turned and looked out the window in my bathroom, I see this guy, who badly needed a shave and have his hair combed, was right up at the window looking back at me.

Then I realized I was turned around and was looking in my bathroom mirror.

Was still really weird though.

[frankotank]

OK…this is kinda long….but I swear every word is true.
This happened a few years ago. Reading this thread reminded me of this incident.

Went to lunch with a friend (we’ll call him Dave….because his name is….Dave). Ended up at a Churchs’s chicken joint in KC. I was already somewhat apprehensive upon seeing the windows of the door have been boarded up. We get in line behind a black lady. She’s gotta be every bit of 6’ 6”, no joke. Big ole afro too made her look 6’ 9”. She lets us go ahead of her. We order. Made the mistake of getting a large drink. They set my food and a gallon of coke on my tray. I turn to walk away and almost bump into the amazon who is directly behind me. As I’m about to say sorry and step around I look up into her face and she makes the unmistakable facial contortion/burping action that indicates she’s gonna barf. I JERK my tray to the right and sidestep. The gallon of coke slides all the way from the left side of the tray to the right and stops….disaster averted, quick as a cat! The amazon turns to me and daintily puts her index finger to her lips and says…..”Oh my damn!”. (this phrase has now become a part of my daily lexicon)

Dave is still at the counter and is oblivious to this happening. I go sit down wondering…..did she really almost puke on me?! Dave comes and sits down (I’m facing the counter he’s facing the street) and I tell him what just happened. He’s laughing about it when I see the amazon turn and run down the hallway and throw open the bathroom door. Immediately retching sounds emanate from said bathroom, door still hanging open. A black gentleman sitting in the booth across from us freezes with a chicken leg half way to his mouth. He sits there listening for maybe 5 seconds……then stands up, throws his chicken leg onto his plate and SCREAMS……. “JUS LIKE THAT?! ALL LOUD LIKE THAT?! WIF THE MUTHA****ING DO OPEN?!”

By this time me and Dave are pretty much dying laughing. We’re sitting there still chuckling when the amazon makes her way from the bathroom back to the counter. We watch her as she proceeds to order a bunch of food. She again daintily put here finger to her lips and was like...."Yeah um um er uh, gimme some a them mashed taters and um er uh"....etc This just cracked us up even more. I mean, hey, her stomach was most certainly empty. Why wouldn’t she be hungry? So she orders her food and leaves the premises. This has already been one bizarre and funny lunch outing…..but wait! There’s more!

There are maybe 10 people still sitting in the restaurant. Dave and myself happened to be the only caucasions….not that there’s anything wrong with that….. It starts to rain, I mean it starts to POUR. Just a gully washer. We’re sitting there eating and the door opens and you just hear all that rain pounding….sssshhhhhhhh. This black guy walks in just dripping wet. He makes a line straight for me and Dave. He walks past everyone else in the restaurant and comes right up to our table and leans right down into our faces. Red red eyes….so very red. We are stunned and very still and after a few seconds he puts his fingers to his mouth in a smoking gesture and says…..”Hey man, either of you dudes got a smoke?”. We both cautiously say no. He turns and again bypasses everyone else in the restaurant and opens the door…..ssshhhhhhhhh….and he’s gone.
We sat there and laughed like frigging lunatics. We’re like WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!!!?

I don’t go to Church’s anymore…..

[Rasputin]

Originally Posted by frankotank

OK…this is kinda long….but I swear every word is true.
This happened a few years ago. Reading this thread reminded me of this incident.

Went to lunch with a friend (we’ll call him Dave….because his name is….Dave). Ended up at a Churchs’s chicken joint in KC. I was already somewhat apprehensive upon seeing the windows of the door have been boarded up. We get in line behind a black lady. She’s gotta be every bit of 6’ 6”, no joke. Big ole afro too made her look 6’ 9”. She lets us go ahead of her. We order. Made the mistake of getting a large drink. They set my food and a gallon of coke on my tray. I turn to walk away and almost bump into the amazon who is directly behind me. As I’m about to say sorry and step around I look up into her face and she makes the unmistakable facial contortion/burping action that indicates she’s gonna barf. I JERK my tray to the right and sidestep. The gallon of coke slides all the way from the left side of the tray to the right and stops….disaster averted, quick as a cat! The amazon turns to me and daintily puts her index finger to her lips and says…..”Oh my damn!”. (this phrase has now become a part of my daily lexicon)

Dave is still at the counter and is oblivious to this happening. I go sit down wondering…..did she really almost puke on me?! Dave comes and sits down (I’m facing the counter he’s facing the street) and I tell him what just happened. He’s laughing about it when I see the amazon turn and run down the hallway and throw open the bathroom door. Immediately retching sounds emanate from said bathroom, door still hanging open. A black gentleman sitting in the booth across from us freezes with a chicken leg half way to his mouth. He sits there listening for maybe 5 seconds……then stands up, throws his chicken leg onto his plate and SCREAMS……. “JUS LIKE THAT?! ALL LOUD LIKE THAT?! WIF THE MUTHA****ING DO OPEN?!”

By this time me and Dave are pretty much dying laughing. We’re sitting there still chuckling when the amazon makes her way from the bathroom back to the counter. We watch her as she proceeds to order a bunch of food. She again daintily put here finger to her lips and was like...."Yeah um um er uh, gimme some a them mashed taters and um er uh"....etc This just cracked us up even more. I mean, hey, her stomach was most certainly empty. Why wouldn’t she be hungry? So she orders her food and leaves the premises. This has already been one bizarre and funny lunch outing…..but wait! There’s more!

There are maybe 10 people still sitting in the restaurant. Dave and myself happened to be the only caucasions….not that there’s anything wrong with that….. It starts to rain, I mean it starts to POUR. Just a gully washer. We’re sitting there eating and the door opens and you just hear all that rain pounding….sssshhhhhhhh. This black guy walks in just dripping wet. He makes a line straight for me and Dave. He walks past everyone else in the restaurant and comes right up to our table and leans right down into our faces. Red red eyes….so very red. We are stunned and very still and after a few seconds he puts his fingers to his mouth in a smoking gesture and says…..”Hey man, either of you dudes got a smoke?”. We both cautiously say no. He turns and again bypasses everyone else in the restaurant and opens the door…..ssshhhhhhhhh….and he’s gone.
We sat there and laughed like frigging lunatics. We’re like WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!!!?

I don’t go to Church’s anymore…..

Oly chit. That is a cool story bro.

[frankotank]

Originally Posted by KC Tattoo

Oly chit. That is a cool story bro.

yeah it was pretty damn surreal!
we decided that'll be a great scene in a movie of our life. I think we'll call it...

OH....MY....DAMN!

[Iowanian]

So.
Sunday, I'm at the local grocery store. I'm in a town smaller than some high schools, and worked in this store in HS. In this town, I graduated with less than 40 people, so I could probably tell you most of their shoe sizes within 1.

I'm talking to a guy I know and this old dirthead guy turns around and says "who the hell are you?", which kind of miffs me a little bit and I respond "Who the hell are YOU??"
He replies, "well, you look like Iowanian".
"You're close, but I still don't know who you are"
"You should...we graduated together".

I'm flabbergasted...This guy looks 60, a hard, trailer park 60. bald, no teeth, sunken face.
"Person's name?"
"Yeah"
"God Damn, You have got to start taking care of yourself, you have cancer or something"
"Bullshit excuse(inserted instead of 20 year meth habit and comment about case of cheap malt liquor currently being purchased"

He goes on to drone about his medical misfortunes to which I pretty much dismiss them because I know they're due to his personal life choices.

We exchanged smartass retorts, he says he'll probably die, and I agreed he would some day, same as everyone, but reminded him it wasn't a race.



In short, we're not even 40. I was completely flabbergasted that someone my age was completely unrecognizable. I couldn't have identified this guy for $1mil.

[cabletech94]

Originally Posted by Iowanian

So.
Sunday, I'm at the local grocery store. I'm in a town smaller than some high schools, and worked in this store in HS. In this town, I graduated with less than 40 people, so I could probably tell you most of their shoe sizes within 1.

I'm talking to a guy I know and this old dirthead guy turns around and says "who the hell are you?", which kind of miffs me a little bit and I respond "Who the hell are YOU??"
He replies, "well, you look like Iowanian".
"You're close, but I still don't know who you are"
"You should...we graduated together".

I'm flabbergasted...This guy looks 60, a hard, trailer park 60. bald, no teeth, sunken face.
"Person's name?"
"Yeah"
"God Damn, You have got to start taking care of yourself, you have cancer or something"
"Bullshit excuse(inserted instead of 20 year meth habit and comment about case of cheap malt liquor currently being purchased"

He goes on to drone about his medical misfortunes to which I pretty much dismiss them because I know they're due to his personal life choices.

We exchanged smartass retorts, he says he'll probably die, and I agreed he would some day, same as everyone, but reminded him it wasn't a race.



In short, we're not even 40. I was completely flabbergasted that someone my age was completely unrecognizable. I couldn't have identified this guy for $1mil.

oh my damn.

cool story, bro.


p.s. i actually use your duct tape line often, so yup, i'm a plageriser.

[Rain Man]

I like to be openminded, and must say that the cashier at my grocery store is pretty cute. I call her "Ms. Rotten Casket" because that's what the tattoo on her arm says. She's always changing her hair from goth looks to bright pink and other styles, and the less cool cashiers are now following her lead. She has these two holes in her cheeks where she kind of made dimples by poking holes in them, but oddly, it really kind of works. She doesn't seem like a druggie and seems intelligent and nice when I chat with her as she scans my Fancy Feast and Dr. Pepper and watermelon. While I'm happily married and we probably wouldn't be a long term match anyway, she's kind of fetching against all of my normal biases.

[Sofa King]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

I like to be openminded, and must say that the cashier at my grocery store is pretty cute. I call her "Ms. Rotten Casket" because that's what the tattoo on her arm says. She's always changing her hair from goth looks to bright pink and other styles, and the less cool cashiers are now following her lead. She has these two holes in her cheeks where she kind of made dimples by poking holes in them, but oddly, it really kind of works. She doesn't seem like a druggie and seems intelligent and nice when I chat with her as she scans my Fancy Feast and Dr. Pepper and watermelon. While I'm happily married and we probably wouldn't be a long term match anyway, she's kind of fetching against all of my normal biases.

I'm telling your wife.

[Donger]

I was at King Soopers recently and I noticed three ladies looking at dairy products, conveniently located in the dairy section, which is kept chilled. I noticed that all three had their arms crossed across their breasts. Ladies, we WANT to see your erect nipples, so for future reference, uncross your arms and allow nature to take her course. Thanks.

[Rasputin]

Originally Posted by Donger

I was at King Soopers recently and I noticed three ladies looking at dairy products, conveniently located in the dairy section, which is kept chilled. I noticed that all three had their arms crossed across their breasts. Ladies, we WANT to see your erect nipples, so for future reference, uncross your arms and allow nature to take her course. Thanks.

[Boise_Chief]

So excuse me for punctuation and grammar. I'm typing this with fat fingers on a cell phone. Last night the transfer case went out on my truck just out of Wendell Idaho. We got off to the subway and started looking for a motel. Nope the only thin there is a flophouse available by the month.

We find a campground and sleep in the truck. Not great but we survive. Drive it back to subway atom get it towed and get us picked up. I go in to grab a coffee and a sandwich, I get back to the truck and start eating. My wife says, I think someone took a crap in the middle of the parking lot. Sure enough......

Big pile they wiped with paper towels. WTF not off in a corner but under a big light almost exactly in the center of the lot. I'd post a pic but it won't let me from my phone.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by Boise_Chief

So excuse me for punctuation and grammar. I'm typing this with fat fingers on a cell phone. Last night the transfer case went out on my truck just out of Wendell Idaho. We got off to the subway and started looking for a motel. Nope the only thin there is a flophouse available by the month.

We find a campground and sleep in the truck. Not great but we survive. Drive it back to subway atom get it towed and get us picked up. I go in to grab a coffee and a sandwich, I get back to the truck and start eating. My wife says, I think someone took a crap in the middle of the parking lot. Sure enough......

Big pile they wiped with paper towels. WTF not off in a corner but under a big light almost exactly in the center of the lot. I'd post a pic but it won't let me from my phone.

This is why I don't eat at Subway.

[suds79]

This happened last summer and I feel it's a good public service announcement.

At this place called "Suken Gardens" here in Lincoln. Nice botanical garden place. See joggers stop by with their dog to get a drink. Nothing strange about that right? They then proceed to lift the dog up so that it lick all over the drinking fountain.



Thanks you inconsiderate #&*%@. Now everybody else who wants a drink has to share it with your shaggy dog who was probably licking his own @$$ two minutes earlier. And don't give me some "Dogs mouths are cleaner than a humans." BS. Great. Then you share a toothbrush with your dog on your own time. Don't make that decision for the rest of us.

Simple solution? If you're concerned about your dog getting water on a jog, then bring a bottle.

[Rain Man]

I walked two blocks to the store, carrying two ecologically sound grocery bags.

I bought 18 items, including a half-gallon of milk, a half-gallon of cherry juice, a pound of butter, several cans of cat food, cereal, a four-pack of toilet paper, and some other stuff.

The bag boy took my two bags. He put the toilet paper in one bag, and put the other 17 items in the other bag. Seriously, dude?