Dear Abby

[thehead]

Dear Abby,
I am a sailor in the United States Coast Guard. My parents live in the
suburb of Philadelphia and one of my sisters, who lives in Bensonhurst is
married to a
transvestite. My Father and Mother have recently been arrested for growing
and
selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my other two sisters, who
are prostitutes in Jersey City. I have two brothers, one who is currently
serving a none parole life sentence in Attica, for the rape & murder of a
teenage boy in 1994, the other currently being held in the Wellington
Remand Center on charges of incest
with his three children. I have recently become engaged to marry a former
Thai prostitute who lives in the Bronx and indeed is still a part-time
"working girl" in a brothel, however, her time there is limited as she has
recently been infected with an STD. We intend to marry as soon as possible
and are currently looking into the
possibility of opening our own brothel, with my fiancee utilizing her
knowledge of the industry working as the manager. I am hoping my two
sisters would be interested in joining our team. Although I would prefer
them not to prostitute themselves, at least it would get them off the
streets and, hopefully, away from the heroin.
My problem is this: I love my fiancee and look forward to bringing her
into the family, and of course I want to be totally honest with her, but I
really am worried. Should I tell her about my cousin, who is a Raider fan?

Signed: Worried about my reputation<BR>