I was thinking about the Brady Bunch the other day.

[Rain Man]

Supposedly Mike and Carol Brady were both widowed before they met and married. How common is it for a couple of under-35 people to meet as a widow and widower? Is it possible that they met, fell in love, had an affair, and then killed each other's spouses for the insurance money? That would help explain the nice big house and the maid.

[Hammock Parties]

No. If you watched that show it was clear that both of them were highly annoying people. We can conclude that their ex-spouses attacked them in frustration. Mike and Carol were forced to kill their exes in self defense.

Moral of the story - don't fuck with the Bradys.

[tommykat]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Supposedly Mike and Carol Brady were both widowed before they met and married. How common is it for a couple of under-35 people to meet as a widow and widower? Is it possible that they met, fell in love, had an affair, and then killed each other's spouses for the insurance money? That would help explain the nice big house and the maid.

How do you come up with these things? I am spooked of your mind and thinking...

[stevieray]

Sam the "Butcher".

[ChiefsCountry]

Originally Posted by tommykat

How do you come up with these things? I am spooked of your mind and thinking...

It was Fatlock 's column about golden boy Brady.

[tommykat]

Originally Posted by First Down Elvis

Sam the "Butcher".

Why not Sam and Alice doing this together?

[Rain Man]

At first I thought that Alice wouldn't have a motive, but then again those two untimely deaths resulted in her getting a stable job and a nice room off of the kitchen. Even a trip to Hawaii at one point.

Was the trip to Hawaii some kind of payoff, perhaps?

Nah. Couldn't be Alice. They wouldn't want her in the house if she had done the dirty work. It'd be too easy for one of them to set her on the other one.

[listopencil]

No, it was much more likely that Mike was part of the Witness Protection Program:

1) There is no way in hell that Mike is an architect. You move a family with six kids into a two story house and there are only two bedrooms upstairs for the kids? And only one bathroom for all six of them to share? Ridiculous. Marsha and Greg were fighting over the attic, for Christ's sake. That can't be his real job.

2) He had Alice as a "maid" long before Carol was around. She helped take care of the boys. Take a good look at her. She's no maid. That's a Federal agent if I ever saw one. Tough as nails. She'd rip your heart out and show it to you before you died if you ever screwed with her. "Sam the butcher" was her partner.


3) Mike had an office that he went to and also worked at home. Watch closely how he interacts with the kids when they go into his home office. He's not doing anything important in there. He's just hanging out while the FBI runs a sweep to check for bugs.


This is what happened:

Feodor Guiliano works himself up from the mean streets of Chicago to become the right hand man of a Mob Boss. Right before one of the biggest drug deals goes down, Feodor develops cold feet. The Big Man kills his wife and threatens his boys to let Feodor know what the score is, to let him know that there is no way out. Feodor turns pigeon in exchange for amnesty and entry into the Witness Protection Program. His boys are young (they would have to be, for them to successfully take on the Brady persona), so they set him up with an agent to pose as "the maid" while he begins his new life as Mike Brady, architect. After a while he gets lonely and wants to take on a wife. They match him up with an air-headed widow who falls for him because of his own widower status. Obviously Carol dosn't know the real story but is happy to find peace and love. The tenison and, in my opinion, the beauty of the series lie in the subtext of the vicious mobster parading as a family man and trying to make his new life work. If you watch all of the episodes in reverse you may begin to see tell-tale clues of this "hidden story".

[Lomax]

Originally Posted by First Down Elvis

Sam the "Butcher".

Someone needs to tell you how brilliant that response really is. You are a minor trivia god, sir.

And just a little twisted...

[Hammock Parties]

Originally Posted by listopencil

No, it was much more likely that Mike was part of the Witness Protection Program:

1) There is no way in hell that Mike is an architect. You move a family with six kids into a two story house and there are only two bedrooms upstairs for the kids? And only one bathroom for all six of them to share? Ridiculous. Marsha and Greg were fighting over the attic, for Christ's sake. That can't be his real job.

2) He had Alice as a "maid" long before Carol was around. She helped take care of the boys. Take a good look at her. She's no maid. That's a Federal agent if I ever saw one. Tough as nails. She'd rip your heart out and show it to you before you died if you ever screwed with her. "Sam the butcher" was her partner.


3) Mike had an office that he went to and also worked at home. Watch closely how he interacts with the kids when they go into his home office. He's not doing anything important in there. He's just hanging out while the FBI runs a sweep to check for bugs.


This is what happened:

Feodor Guiliano works himself up from the mean streets of Chicago to become the right hand man of a Mob Boss. Right before one of the biggest drug deals goes down, Feodor develops cold feet. The Big Man kills his wife and threatens his boys to let Feodor know what the score is, to let him know that there is no way out. Feodor turns pigeon in exchange for amnesty and entry into the Witness Protection Program. His boys are young (they would have to be, for them to successfully take on the Brady persona), so they set him up with an agent to pose as "the maid" while he begins his new life as Mike Brady, architect. After a while he gets lonely and wants to take on a wife. They match him up with an air-headed widow who falls for him because of his own widower status. Obviously Carol dosn't know the real story but is happy to find peace and love. The tenison and, in my opinion, the beauty of the series lie in the subtext of the vicious mobster parading as a family man and trying to make his new life work. If you watch all of the episodes in reverse you may begin to see tell-tale clues of this "hidden story".

That was hilarious...

No one likes my theory?

[tk13]

This sounds like a conversation Norm and Cliff would have on Cheers...

[ChiefJustice]

Why is that no one ever suspects "Cousin" Oliver?

[Lomax]

John Denver the Lesser.

Or fils, if you prefer...

[Gaz]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

I was thinking about the Brady Bunch the other day...

That is perhaps the most disturbing thing I have ever read.

Get help, Rain Man. Please.

xoxo~
Gaz
Going to miss the competency hearing.

[PRIEST]

Originally Posted by listopencil

No, it was much more likely that Mike was part of the Witness Protection Program:

1) There is no way in hell that Mike is an architect. You move a family with six kids into a two story house and there are only two bedrooms upstairs for the kids? And only one bathroom for all six of them to share? Ridiculous. Marsha and Greg were fighting over the attic, for Christ's sake. That can't be his real job.

2) He had Alice as a "maid" long before Carol was around. She helped take care of the boys. Take a good look at her. She's no maid. That's a Federal agent if I ever saw one. Tough as nails. She'd rip your heart out and show it to you before you died if you ever screwed with her. "Sam the butcher" was her partner.


3) Mike had an office that he went to and also worked at home. Watch closely how he interacts with the kids when they go into his home office. He's not doing anything important in there. He's just hanging out while the FBI runs a sweep to check for bugs.


This is what happened:

Feodor Guiliano works himself up from the mean streets of Chicago to become the right hand man of a Mob Boss. Right before one of the biggest drug deals goes down, Feodor develops cold feet. The Big Man kills his wife and threatens his boys to let Feodor know what the score is, to let him know that there is no way out. Feodor turns pigeon in exchange for amnesty and entry into the Witness Protection Program. His boys are young (they would have to be, for them to successfully take on the Brady persona), so they set him up with an agent to pose as "the maid" while he begins his new life as Mike Brady, architect. After a while he gets lonely and wants to take on a wife. They match him up with an air-headed widow who falls for him because of his own widower status. Obviously Carol dosn't know the real story but is happy to find peace and love. The tenison and, in my opinion, the beauty of the series lie in the subtext of the vicious mobster parading as a family man and trying to make his new life work. If you watch all of the episodes in reverse you may begin to see tell-tale clues of this "hidden story".

That's some funny chit.