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Old 10-23-2004, 01:42 AM  
Rausch Rausch is offline
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Well then, I guess I'll get drunk....
Tonight my mother flooded my bathroom and livingroom. Drenched. My girlfriend woke up and tried to help her soak up the water while they called me to ask where the main shut off valve was. This would be the same little turning device I SPECIFICALLY TOLD HER MUST BE TWISTED BEFORE TOUCHING A F**KING PIECE OF PLUMMING to prevent serious water damage.

There is only one shut off valve in my house, which is older than God's grandpa. The tile she BEGGED me to let her and her boyfriend rip up while I was at work (and I had already asked off to take care of) was warped due to a slow sink leak that just finally ruined the floor. Like the dumbass I am, I let her go ahead and tackle such a f**cking complex project because she swore she wouldn't start until her boyfriend got there.

Of course, she went ahead and decided to remove my sink by herself.

I get a call at work that she's turned my house into THE F**KING BIBLICAL FLOOD and she needs to know where the main shut off valve is.

That's right, the same one I told her to shut off BEFORE she started doing anything. I tell her and then race as fast as the laws of physics allow home. When I get there I see my mother and girlfriend standing in SOAKING WET carpet, no less than 3 feet from a surge protecter that is SOAKED, sticking towels all over.

I have absolutely no idea why my mother, girlfriend, and computer aren't dead right now.

The rest of this story is full of my mother completely RUINING my plumming, both women confused why I'm gawddamned livid, and a job STILL unfinished with a gentleman due tommorow to replace my pipes who is expecting to be able to ACTUALLY (. x. )(. x. )(. x. )(. x. )ING GET TO THEM.

Um...yeah.
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Old 10-23-2004, 02:07 AM   #2
tk13 tk13 is offline
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Well... uh... good luck. And happy birthday!... I guess.
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Old 10-23-2004, 02:08 AM   #3
el borracho el borracho is offline
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Why was your mother doing home repair at your place?
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Old 10-23-2004, 02:13 AM   #4
Rausch Rausch is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by el borracho
Why was your mother doing home repair at your place?
She wasn't supposed to be. Her boyfriend was supposed to rip up the floor so the plummer could do his work tommorow. I only agreed after he and she BOTH swore he'd be the one doing the work. He offered and I figured I'd let him since I wouldn't have to take off work...
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"He had no teeth, and he was slobbering all over himself. I'm thinking, 'You can have your money back, just get me out of here. Let me go be an accountant." I can't tell you how badly I wanted out of there."
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Originally Posted by rico
I wish I always ended up at gay bars.
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Old 10-23-2004, 02:19 AM   #5
el borracho el borracho is offline
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Well, hell. I guess you get what you pay for- sometimes less. Maybe the boyfriend can help you straighten out the mess?
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Old 10-23-2004, 02:28 AM   #6
Rausch Rausch is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by el borracho
Well, hell. I guess you get what you pay for- sometimes less. Maybe the boyfriend can help you straighten out the mess?
He shouldn't have to.

He's a super nice guy. To even bother offering amazes me. After having to date my mother there's no way I'd ask him to put himself out any further...
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"He had no teeth, and he was slobbering all over himself. I'm thinking, 'You can have your money back, just get me out of here. Let me go be an accountant." I can't tell you how badly I wanted out of there."
Denver rookie QB John Elway, on Jack Lambert, after Lambert and the Steelers knocked Elway out of his first game as a pro (1983).
Quote:
Originally Posted by rico
I wish I always ended up at gay bars.
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Old 10-23-2004, 02:49 AM   #7
Bob Dole Bob Dole is offline
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Stories like this are the very reason that Bob Dole continues to live in a tarpaper shack with dirt floors and no plumbing.
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Old 10-23-2004, 02:52 AM   #8
Rausch Rausch is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob_Dole
Stories like this are the very reason that Bob Dole continues to live in a tarpaper shack with dirt floors and no plumbing.
Keep laughing old man, you get to dookie on a toilet tonight...
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"He had no teeth, and he was slobbering all over himself. I'm thinking, 'You can have your money back, just get me out of here. Let me go be an accountant." I can't tell you how badly I wanted out of there."
Denver rookie QB John Elway, on Jack Lambert, after Lambert and the Steelers knocked Elway out of his first game as a pro (1983).
Quote:
Originally Posted by rico
I wish I always ended up at gay bars.
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Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 10-23-2004, 02:59 AM   #9
alanm alanm is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rausch
Tonight my mother flooded my bathroom and livingroom. Drenched. My girlfriend woke up and tried to help her soak up the water while they called me to ask where the main shut off valve was. This would be the same little turning device I SPECIFICALLY TOLD HER MUST BE TWISTED BEFORE TOUCHING A F**KING PIECE OF PLUMMING to prevent serious water damage.

There is only one shut off valve in my house, which is older than God's grandpa. The tile she BEGGED me to let her and her boyfriend rip up while I was at work (and I had already asked off to take care of) was warped due to a slow sink leak that just finally ruined the floor. Like the dumbass I am, I let her go ahead and tackle such a f**cking complex project because she swore she wouldn't start until her boyfriend got there.

Of course, she went ahead and decided to remove my sink by herself.

I get a call at work that she's turned my house into THE F**KING BIBLICAL FLOOD and she needs to know where the main shut off valve is.

That's right, the same one I told her to shut off BEFORE she started doing anything. I tell her and then race as fast as the laws of physics allow home. When I get there I see my mother and girlfriend standing in SOAKING WET carpet, no less than 3 feet from a surge protecter that is SOAKED, sticking towels all over.

I have absolutely no idea why my mother, girlfriend, and computer aren't dead right now.

The rest of this story is full of my mother completely RUINING my plumming, both women confused why I'm gawddamned livid, and a job STILL unfinished with a gentleman due tommorow to replace my pipes who is expecting to be able to ACTUALLY (. x. )(. x. )(. x. )(. x. )ING GET TO THEM.

Um...yeah.
Oh BTW Happy Birthday Brad.
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Old 10-23-2004, 07:25 AM   #10
Otter Otter is offline
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Geez dude, sorry to hear that.

Word of advice; prolly don't want to get drunk around the two people wondering why you're livid.
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Otter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Otter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Otter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Otter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Otter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Otter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Otter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Otter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Otter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Otter is obviously part of the inner Circle.Otter is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 10-23-2004, 07:36 AM   #11
Ebolapox Ebolapox is offline
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jeesh, I'd choke a bitch

happy birthday, brad

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Old 10-23-2004, 08:35 AM   #12
Skip Towne Skip Towne is offline
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Other than that how are things going?
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Old 10-23-2004, 09:14 AM   #13
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Dude - Wow. If I were you, I'd pack a pair of clean drawers and move to Mexico.
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Old 10-23-2004, 09:29 AM   #14
go bo go bo is offline
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don't see your mom's boyfriend short...

he obviously likes your mom and enjoys being with her, so don't sweat asking him to help with the disaster...

oh yeah, sorry about the flood...

and happy birthday!

geez, in 1976 i'd already been married twice...
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Old 10-23-2004, 09:36 AM   #15
nychief nychief is offline
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You should see what my mother did when I left her alone with my belt-sander.
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