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Old 05-13-2014, 07:11 PM  
BigRichard BigRichard is offline
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My Junk Was On Fire!!!
I just got done making some Indian cuisine that called for a couple of serrano peppers. I chop them up throw them in and wash my hands. Something like 20 minutes later I have to take a piss. I piss, wash my hands and proceed to go back to finishing up the cooking.

About three minutes after pissing I notice this warm sensation in my pants and I say to my wife, hey must of had a little pepper still left on my hands. Another three or four minutes go by and I am starting to hurt a little down in the nether region.

I decide I am going to go get a wet wash cloth to help cool it down. I go to the bathroom and get a wash cloth, wet it and try applying. No such luck, it just isn't helping.

By this time my dick was pretty well on fire and only getting worse. Hey look on the counter, I have aloe I was using for my sunburn. It feels kinda like a sunburn so what the hell I will give it a try.

At this point I am yelling at my wife to start googling what neutralizes the burning from peppers. She walks in the bathroom and here I am, penis in hand, standing in front of the fan(with aloe covering it) trying to cool it down. Not only is none of this working I think I have spread the burning by using my hands to spread the aloe. She is laughing her ass off at this point, I was not so amused.

Her google search turned up that yogurt can help. So she brings me a cup of yogurt and I start rubbing it on. Once again I think I was just helping to spread the burn which at this point has me about doubling over in pain.

Time for a cold ass shower. I strip down and go running for the shower. A nice cold stream of water seemed to soothe the burning. My wife is still googling to find other options and finds that baking soda can help so here she comes with a box of baking soda.

The baking soda seems to have some dulling effect to the burn. I continue to put more on it and finally there is some relief to my pain.

So here I sit typing this with baking soda all over my junk, my wife laughing at me, and I need to piss again but am afraid to at this point. On one positive note the Indian turned out delicious.

And I know, I should have rubbed anti freeze on it.
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Old 05-14-2014, 08:33 AM   #46
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Story from a few years ago....

I have a chili cookoff at work every year. This particular time, I forgot to make my chili until around 11:30pm the night before the event. I'd been drinking heavily that night, so I busted through making a very spicy chicken chili much faster than I normally would. I used part of a habanero, like I normally do with my chicken chili, to give it a good kick. Got the chili made, set the crockpot, and went to bed.

At around 3am, I woke up feeling like someone was cutting my junk off with a red hot butter knife. I had evidently been shifting gears in my sleep. It kept me up awake and teary-eyed in constant pain for over 3 hrs. I wanted to die.
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Old 05-14-2014, 09:39 AM   #47
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"Shifted gears"
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Old 05-14-2014, 09:41 AM   #48
HemiEd HemiEd is offline
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Quote:
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Yes, lesson learned, the hard way.
I learned years ago to wash my hands before I take a piss, it pays off IMO.


I have felt your pain. Once on an overnight stay in Junction City on business, I had a fresh cup of coffee in my hand after my shower and bumped my coffee holding elbow on the door jamb.

OMFG, instant pain in the junk area!

Since it was just an overnight stay, I didn't have a lot of clothes options so I went and bought all the crap I could find at a convenience store for burns not wearing any skivvies under my slacks. It was a brutal few days after that.
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Old 05-14-2014, 10:01 AM   #49
Mosbonian Mosbonian is offline
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I thought that the ghost chili pepper was the hottest thing....then read that the Trinidad moruga scorpion was....then read it was:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carolina_Reaper
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Old 05-14-2014, 10:04 AM   #50
htismaqe htismaqe is offline
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Quote:
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I thought that the ghost chili pepper was the hottest thing....then read that the Trinidad moruga scorpion was....then read it was:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carolina_Reaper
I grew some Carribean Red habaneros once. They're about twice as hot as a regular habanero and JFC they were hot.
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Old 05-14-2014, 10:05 AM   #51
kepp kepp is offline
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kepp threw an interception on a screen pass.kepp threw an interception on a screen pass.kepp threw an interception on a screen pass.kepp threw an interception on a screen pass.kepp threw an interception on a screen pass.kepp threw an interception on a screen pass.kepp threw an interception on a screen pass.kepp threw an interception on a screen pass.kepp threw an interception on a screen pass.kepp threw an interception on a screen pass.kepp threw an interception on a screen pass.
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Old 05-14-2014, 11:47 AM   #52
FlaChief58 FlaChief58 is offline
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rubber gloves are always a great idea when handling hot peppers
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Old 05-14-2014, 12:46 PM   #53
NewChief NewChief is offline
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I think I've posted this story multiple times, but anyway:

One of my best buddies in college worked for a lady called "the Pickle Lady" because she sold jarred pickled things at various craft shows and such. He spent an entire day chopping jalapenos for pickling once then went home and got frisky with his lady friend immediately afterward.

She was not happy. At all.

Amazingly, he and his lady friend are still together 15 years later.
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Old 05-14-2014, 12:47 PM   #54
NewChief NewChief is offline
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The worst I've had personally was putting gasoline in our boat from a container, getting it all over my hands, then taking a piss and getting gasoline all over my dick.

Extremely uncomfortable.
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Old 05-14-2014, 12:48 PM   #55
NewChief NewChief is offline
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Take that back. My asshole brother shoved his hand down my pants one time when I was watching TV on the couch. I thought he'd gone insane or gay or something until he started smirking/laughing and I started burning.

Icy Hot to the nuts.
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Old 05-14-2014, 12:59 PM   #56
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"brother". Likely story.
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Old 05-14-2014, 01:10 PM   #57
NewChief NewChief is offline
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"brother". Likely story.
It's Arkansas, so it's legit.
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Old 05-14-2014, 01:15 PM   #58
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I'll be in your neck of the woods in Sept for the Bikers Blues and BBQ thing. we should meet up and have a beer. just don't bring your brother.
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Old 05-14-2014, 01:17 PM   #59
NewChief NewChief is offline
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I'll be in your neck of the woods in Sept for the Bikers Blues and BBQ thing. we should meet up and have a beer. just don't bring your brother.
I will hopefully be out of town for BBBQ (our city is unbearable for locals during that festival). If I'm here, though, I'm down!
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Old 05-14-2014, 01:18 PM   #60
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I bet. i've never been, but I hear it's insane. my brother and I are going down, but will be staying with my dad in Bella Vista
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