What have you said that offended people at the Office?

[chagrin]

Judging by the crowd here at the Planet (I've only been here 2 weeks), surely I'm not the only one who's stepped in it - especially considering today's PC climate...

Here's mine, from just a few minutes ago:

I work for a Telecommunications company and a few minutes ago, our power went out...we're all standing around yakkin' and a group of people from upstairs walks by our window. One of then, a frighteningly skinny lady in pink was walking like she just came out of a rough anal scene (a very awkward gate and she was holding her butt)...

so I say, in voice like Homer Simpson, "he he he, she walks funny"

Dorothy over here gets upset and shakes her finger at me and says, "you'd walk funny too if you got hit by a truck and broke your back"...everyone basically walked as far away from me as possible.

That's just today, I've done worse...anyone else care to throw in a nice one?

[jarjar]

It's impossible to insult people where I work. There are adult magazines on the toilet if that tells you anything. Truth is, it's a company that is staffed by "good ol' boys" as they say. Red Necks, know what I mean?

[chagrin]

totally, I was in Radio Broadcasting for 12 years ...ahh the good ole days. What I've learned is, the conversations you can have at a radio station with coworkers doesn't translate to fun conversation in this industry

[Saulbadguy]

It's impossible to insult people where I work. There are adult magazines on the toilet if that tells you anything. Truth is, it's a company that is staffed by "good ol' boys" as they say. Red Necks, know what I mean?

Same here, except the adult magazines part.

[Fire Me Boy!]

I knew a girl a few years ago that was a little chunky... well, I hadn't seen her in like 6 months and saw her and she'd lost a lot of weight... looked pretty good. Anyway, I mentioned it and said I noticed she'd lost a lot of weight, how'd you do it? She replied... "Cancer."

[Iowanian]

Believe it or not, I've been known to hurt someone's delicate feelings on occasion.


Really.

[Fire Me Boy!]

I knew a girl a few years ago that was a little chunky... well, I hadn't seen her in like 6 months and saw her and she'd lost a lot of weight... looked pretty good. Anyway, I mentioned it and said I noticed she'd lost a lot of weight, how'd you do it? She replied... "Cancer."
Being the movie buff I am and ALWAY quoting films, my exact reply was, "Now don't I feel like the f***ing asshole?"

[teedubya]

I knew a girl a few years ago that was a little chunky... well, I hadn't seen her in like 6 months and saw her and she'd lost a lot of weight... looked pretty good. Anyway, I mentioned it and said I noticed she'd lost a lot of weight, how'd you do it? She replied... "Cancer."

Its all the rage, the South Beach Cancer Diet... works great.

[Rain Man]

Gimme a couple of days. I've got an exit interview coming up.


My favorite story was the guy when I was in the defense industry who had the bad luck to say something bad about a coworker at the exact second that he walked up behind him. (Patteeu may have actually been there, because it was when we were working on the same project.)

The funniest part was that he tried to apologize later, and the offended guy sat right next to me. He came into our cubicle and said to the offended guy something like, "I don't think you're a jerk. You're just under a lot of stress. You must always have a headache the size of a walnut."

I was just rolling on the floor laughing, and then got yelled at because I kept telling the story to other people.

[Fire Me Boy!]

I have heard a story (might be urban legend, but supposedly happened to someone I know...). This person was writing a letter to resign... began like this:

Dear ...,

I hope the fire from the bridge I'm about to burn will be seen from miles away...

[Iowanian]

I onced asked a lady when she was Due.......and she said she wasn't fargin pregnant.

I don't ask that now, even if they've got a head sticking out of their skirt.

[chagrin]

I onced asked a lady when she was Due.......and she said she wasn't fargin pregnant.

I don't ask that now, even if they've got a head sticking out of their skirt.


HAHAHAHAHAHAHA - I'm dyin!!

[Bob Dole]

Bob Dole is enough of an asshole that coworkers no longer get close enough that Bob Dole's comments are audible.

[munkey]

A few years back we had one of those clients that had to have their hand held once a month in regards to her account. To make matters worse she was not a pleasant person and never - never thanked you for helping her. Well on day she came in and went directly to the bathroom unoticed by one of my coworkers. While in the bathroom her name was brought up and he started saying her name followed my a pink oink....Of coarse she just had to walk in the room behind him and listen to him go on and on and on.

She basically cried and screamed what an azzhole he was as she stormed out of the office....

[seclark]

i don't mean to blow my own horn, but i can offend these people w/o saying a word.
sec

[Rain Man]

Back when I worked for my unethical ex-boss (and before I figured him out and still actually thought he was ... human), he had a couple of extra tickets to the ballet. He couldn't go, but his wife was going, and she invited one of my coworkers.

For some reason that remains unexplained to this day, they were chatting before the show started, and my coworker just went off on my ex-boss. She politely informed the guy's wife that he was deceitful and dishonest, that he stole credit for other people's work, that he was taking advantage of people, and that he was a flat-out liar. Then she turned around and they enjoyed the ballet.

The next day my ex-boss informed the other sheep partners in the firm that he was going to fire her. They actually managed to protect her job for a couple of months, but eventually she just quit. I never did figure why she did it, but I guess she just got fed up with him like I did later.

[patteeu]

Gimme a couple of days. I've got an exit interview coming up.


My favorite story was the guy when I was in the defense industry who had the bad luck to say something bad about a coworker at the exact second that he walked up behind him. (Patteeu may have actually been there, because it was when we were working on the same project.)

The funniest part was that he tried to apologize later, and the offended guy sat right next to me. He came into our cubicle and said to the offended guy something like, "I don't think you're a jerk. You're just under a lot of stress. You must always have a headache the size of a walnut."

I was just rolling on the floor laughing, and then got yelled at because I kept telling the story to other people.

I don't think I was there, but if I could remember it right, my story would be from that same project.

I was in a meeting with my boss, a couple of other people and the project manager for the advanced version of that aircraft and I was briefing the project manager about something. He asked me a question and I said something to the effect that "it's obvious that [such and such]." Well, apparently it was obvious to everyone but me that whatever I was talking about wasn't obvious to the project manager and I'd just implicitly called him an idiot. My boss suggested quietly that I apologize, and while I didn't really understand what I was apologizing for, I did it and everything was copacetic.

[chagrin]

There was the time when I was sitting with a client and discussing her account. It was an open office, that is to say no cubes, etc. Anyway, she was talking about her son, who was out at 4 am with friends outside in the driveway of their house. She said he does that all the time and she couldn't figure it out because "he's such a nice boy". I blurted out the first thing I thought of and that was, "tell him to get off the blow and maybe he'll be in bed at a decent hour." She was not amused but my coworkers were rolling! She didn't come back for a visit again.

[morphius]

About the closest I can think of is my use of the Brother Bear quote in a meeting when someone was talking about some candy he grabbed on the way out of an Indian restaurant that he thinks was there for its fragrance and not something to eat. Apparently the quote, "and from that moment on, I was more careful about what I licked", is not appropriate in the work place.

[morphius]

Oh damn, just remember one from 2 weeks ago. A guy and I were talking about my son being sick and how preschool does get children sick a lot. Well, he just replied to a comment with, "Damn little carpet munchers". Damn it was hard just not falling on the floor laughing as he looked for, "rug rats". Literally had to wipe the tears out of my eyes.

[siberian khatru]

My favorite story was the guy when I was in the defense industry who had the bad luck to say something bad about a coworker at the exact second that he walked up behind him.

I seem to have a lifelong talent for doing that. No matter where I am -- I could be in the middle of the freakin desert, just me and another person -- the person I'm talking about magically beams down right behind me just as I badmouth him.

Anyway, my biggest dumb remark was when a coworker came into the office wearing a suit -- this guy was a photographer who always dressed casually.

I "jokingly" asked "Who died?"

He replied, "My uncle."

:doh!:

[siberian khatru]

Oh damn, just remember one from 2 weeks ago. A guy and I were talking about my son being sick and how preschool does get children sick a lot. Well, he just replied to a comment with, "Damn little carpet munchers". Damn it was hard just not falling on the floor laughing as he looked for, "rug rats". Literally had to wipe the tears out of my eyes.

I used to work with a cute girl who was really nice but a bit clueless at times. She had two classic moments:

1) I'm standing there with her and a mutual friend walks up and in the course of conversation, as is his custom, drops a bit of pop-culture reference, asking "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?"

The girl matter-of-factly answers, "I don't lick, I suck." She genuinely was not trying to be suggestive, she was honestly describing how she consumes lollipops. We about died laughing and she turned dark crimson when she realized what she'd said.

2) In another casual conversation, she tells me "I need something hard to suck on." Again, she genuinely meant she needed a piece of candy, had no intention of making a double entendre. I just stared at her with a slight grin and said, "Um, you better talk to your husband about that." Again, she turned crimson.

[morphius]

I seem to have a lifelong talent for doing that. No matter where I am -- I could be in the middle of the freakin desert, just me and another person -- the person I'm talking about magically beams down right behind me just as I badmouth him.

Anyway, my biggest dumb remark was when a coworker came into the office wearing a suit -- this guy was a photographer who always dressed casually.

I "jokingly" asked "Who died?"

He replied, "My uncle."

:doh!:
Yeah, its safer to go with the, "Oh, how did the interview go?"

[Simplex3]

A good friend of mine went to KState and in a biology class the teacher was talking about how semen is comprised mostly of sugars and other energy sources. Appearantly some bimbo in the class raised her hand and asked "So why does it taste so salty." Jason said he never saw her in class again.

Yeah, its safer to go with the, "Oh, how did the interview go?"

Yeah, you'd think so. I was on a client site, saw one of the guys in a tie, thought I'd throw that little one out. He tells me it went fine and he had a couple other interviews that afternoon. I thought he was joking with me (hell, his boss was standing right by me). After he walked off his boss tells me he was there picking up his last check, they'd fired him a couple of days ago.

[patteeu]

I "jokingly" asked "Who died?"

He replied, "My uncle."

:doh!:


Yeah, you'd think so. I was on a client site, saw one of the guys in a tie, thought I'd throw that little one out. He tells me it went fine and he had a couple other interviews that afternoon. I thought he was joking with me (hell, his boss was standing right by me). After he walked off his boss tells me he was there picking up his last check, they'd fired him a couple of days ago.

LMAO, maybe you guys should just say "nice suit" next time.

[Fire Me Boy!]

I seem to have a lifelong talent for doing that. No matter where I am -- I could be in the middle of the freakin desert, just me and another person -- the person I'm talking about magically beams down right behind me just as I badmouth him.

Anyway, my biggest dumb remark was when a coworker came into the office wearing a suit -- this guy was a photographer who always dressed casually.

I "jokingly" asked "Who died?"

He replied, "My uncle."

:doh!:
Do we work at the same office? That exact thing happened to me about a year ago... and I was a photographer/writer. Anyway, my uncle had died and this blonde bitch (doesn't work here anymore) comes over and says jokingly, "Who died?" I said my uncle. She laughed. Then realized I was serious and tried to dig her way out.

[morphius]

A good friend of mine went to KState and in a biology class the teacher was talking about how semen is comprised mostly of sugars and other energy sources. Appearantly some bimbo in the class raised her hand and asked "So why does it taste so salty." Jason said he never saw her in class again.



Yeah, you'd think so. I was on a client site, saw one of the guys in a tie, thought I'd throw that little one out. He tells me it went fine and he had a couple other interviews that afternoon. I thought he was joking with me (hell, his boss was standing right by me). After he walked off his boss tells me he was there picking up his last check, they'd fired him a couple of days ago.
But of course since he was fired, do you really care?

[Lzen]

This one time I was talking to a coworker about doing a certain task. I said something like "it's so easy, even a caveman could do it". Well low and behold, our new hire (who just happened to be a caveman) was standing nearby and was not please. Muttered something about it being "not funny" and ran off. Boy, I felt like a real tard. :shake:

[beavis]

There used to be this worthless fat bastard in my office (I won't say he worked there, because he rarely did) that was hired on 4 levels above everyone else that did all the actual work, thus making about double our salary. He had a genuine knack for saying exactly the wrong thing at exactly the wrong time.

He was specificly known for not being the most diversity sensitive person around. In fact, our behind his back nickname for him was "Sheets". Once at a meeting when we were informed that we were all eventually going to be laid off, he stood up and asked, "what about the people here on work visas? Will they be the first ones let go?". Now the majority of the people on work visas were the ones that actually knew their ass from a hole in the ground, not to mention, our coworkers. Really pissed me off. After a dead silence of a good 10 seconds, the director who had a completely dumbfounded look on his face, not believing that anyone would actually be stupid enough to say something like that, responded "they're employees the same as you and me, they won't be treated any differently".

Racist a-hole. It blows my mind how he never got fired.

[patteeu]

This one time I was talking to a coworker about doing a certain task. I said something like "it's so easy, even a caveman could do it". Well low and behold, our new hire (who just happened to be a caveman) was standing nearby and was not please. Muttered something about it being "not funny" and ran off. Boy, I felt like a real tard. :shake:

ROFL

[chiefs4me]

Believe it or not, I've been known to hurt someone's delicate feelings on occasion.


Really.




:rolleyes:

[jarjar]

OMFG. I almost forgot.
Like I said earlier, I work at a place that is all "good ol' boys", it's impossible to offend someone here.. almost. I talk the way I do with my friends cause for the most part everyone in the office is friends. Thing is, we had an intern who was doing something wrong and I said "no, don't do it that way, if you do that you're just being gay" and he said "I was actually."

yeah.. turned out he was.

Not that I'm a homophobe. Homophobes are fags.

[Iowanian]

I was in a meeting the other day, planning for a conference, with about 10 other people.

One guy........a real pain in the ass...complained about EVERYTHING...your basic liberal/Vegetarian/PETA.....contrary to every training tract etc.

Planning meals..."what about the vaginaterian diet"..for the only one......Free Gifts...leather Portfolio..."leather is the debil"

Shirts for the committee ends up being a big deal.."that color doesn't look good on me blah blah blah"

I say "I'm fine with whatever, if you'll keep one thing in Mind. If a guy hairdresser or ballerina would wear it, I won't"

yeah.....He's the ghey too and got offended.

pffffffffft.

[Rain Man]

When I was working for my insane ex-boss, we had a staff meeting one time, and I mentioned that I was developing a new math model for predicting housing demand. He said, "You know, I actually put together the original one."

Before I could catch myself, I said, "Yeah, but I can think I can fix it anyway."

Everyone busted up laughing and I was grinning when I said it, so I didn't think it was a big deal. Two days later, he came up to me and said, "I've been thinking about what you said at the staff meeting, and I guess it's okay to have a laugh at the boss's expense once in a while." Thinking back, I'm sure it cost me some raise money that year, though.

[Carlota69]

Sometimes, if I'm not paying attention to what someone is saying, I'll just give a response of .."Right on"...

Well I work in radio, and I use to work for this big A-Hole named Don. Anyways, he decided he needed to use the phone in the production room instead of his own office. Well I only had about 20 minutes to get some production done before I went on the air. He took forever in there and it really began to stress me out---well about 15 minutes later he walks out of the Prod room and we go quickly in. As we are walking in he says, 'Sorry, my wife's father has just died" and I replied, not thinking or listening, 'Right on"...

Needless to say, I didn't last at that gig very long---

[saturnknts]

I onced asked a lady when she was Due.......and she said she wasn't fargin pregnant.

I don't ask that now, even if they've got a head sticking out of their skirt.

had that same thing, but it was two sisters at the turnpike. one was pregnant the other was not but a little hefty. could never tell them apart. happened to ask when it was due to the one that was not and ouch. felt like such an ass.

[Carlota69]

OH wait--I have another one--except it wasn't me who did the damage, unfortunately.

Have you ever had to deal with one of those poele who constantly talk about how fat they are? I mean, everytimne you deal with them, they ahve to bring out what a tub of lard thay are. What do you say?

Well, I worked with one of those girls. we were out witha bunch of people partying, and she's going on and on about how fat she is. My friend fires back--'yeah we know. You're fat we can see that. Everyone can see--you're fat-- really fat. Now drop it or lose the damn weight."

Oh, I love that guy!

[Bowser]

OH wait--I have another one--except it wasn't me who did the damage, unfortunately.

Have you ever had to deal with one of those poele who constantly talk about how fat they are? I mean, everytimne you deal with them, they ahve to bring out what a tub of lard thay are. What do you say?

Well, I worked with one of those girls. we were out witha bunch of people partying, and she's going on and on about how fat she is. My friend fires back--'yeah we know. You're fat we can see that. Everyone can see--you're fat-- really fat. Now drop it or lose the damn weight."

Oh, I love that guy!


ROFL

There is one way to get her off the subject.......

[Phobia]

I've said lots of offensive shit at the office - which is probably why I no longer work at the office. Heh. One time my boss asked if I would consider transferring from Houston to FTW and I told him "Not a chance in hell" (My kids lived in town with their mother at that time). I lasted another 6 months in that job and 6 months after that, all the other computer geeks were transferred to FTW. I really can't stand corporate America.

[chagrin]

Judging by the crowd here at the Planet (I've only been here 2 weeks), surely I'm not the only one who's stepped in it - especially considering today's PC climate...

Here's mine, from just a few minutes ago:

I work for a Telecommunications company and a few minutes ago, our power went out...we're all standing around yakkin' and a group of people from upstairs walks by our window. One of then, a frighteningly skinny lady in pink was walking like she just came out of a rough anal scene (a very awkward gate and she was holding her butt)...

so I say, in voice like Homer Simpson, "he he he, she walks funny"

Dorothy over here gets upset and shakes her finger at me and says, "you'd walk funny too if you got hit by a truck and broke your back"...everyone basically walked as far away from me as possible.

That's just today, I've done worse...anyone else care to throw in a nice one?



I just wanted to update this story.

7 Months and however many weeks later,

MY boss Joe, was taking my team out for happy hour and dinner as a reward, blah blah blah...come to find out this lady who walked funny, is and was at the time I made those remarks, HIS GIRLFRIEND!!! They have been in a serious relationship for 1.5 years now and he was with her in the accident.
:$2500:

I just didn't know what to say...

[Bob Dole]

Bob Dole has never said anything offensive at the office.

[ChiefsfaninPA]

Everyday, as often as possible I remind all of the Eagles fans in the office how much they suck. Probably doesn't offend anyone but they are some pretty uptight fans.

[KCTitus]

I work in IT, and for those of you that dont, it's riddled with probably the most insecure, shallow people with egos the size of 18 wheelers.

Even the most innocent question can result in an email flame war that lasts for days.

[Donger]

I'm not in an office environment very often, but I have made the mistake of asking non-pregnant gals when the baby was due at least three times.

[KC Kings]

When I was in HS I worked at a Little Caesars in a strip mall. We would have to go out the back door to smoke outside, and one day our femi-nazi district manager comes walking up the back sidewalk so she could have a smoke before she went inside to be a biatch. Being a little Caesars in a strip mall we obviously had a Subway, Blockbuster, and tanning salon in the same strip. Some tanning girl came in to get some Crazy bread, and she must have had extremely large breast.

The district manager (who came in through the back), and myself start walking up to the front as my manager starts to walk around the corner saying, "Man you should have seen that girl! She had..., and was holding his hands out in front of him to help describe the size of the funbags. When he turned the corner and sees the DM he quickly finshed his statement with ... "cerebral palsey."

He didn't last too long, and it is kind of funny thinking back how at the time it was important to me to keep a $3.85 an hour pizza job.

[chagrin]

Sometimes, if I'm not paying attention to what someone is saying, I'll just give a response of .."Right on"...

Well I work in radio, and I use to work for this big A-Hole named Don. Anyways, he decided he needed to use the phone in the production room instead of his own office. Well I only had about 20 minutes to get some production done before I went on the air. He took forever in there and it really began to stress me out---well about 15 minutes later he walks out of the Prod room and we go quickly in. As we are walking in he says, 'Sorry, my wife's father has just died" and I replied, not thinking or listening, 'Right on"...

Needless to say, I didn't last at that gig very long---

ROFL

HA!
I was in radio out west too for a while, Colorado Springs. I still say "Right on", all the frigging time...I worked for a particular a-hole named Don as well, except he spelled his Donn. We all called him "Two N's".

Anyway, that's hilarious

[Rain Man]

I'm not in an office environment very often, but I have made the mistake of asking non-pregnant gals when the baby was due at least three times.

I've mentioned this before, but I'm so scared of doing that that my unbreakable policy is to never mention a pregnancy unless:

1. The woman mentions it first.

2. I can see the head coming out.

[chagrin]

I've mentioned this before, but I'm so scared of doing that that my unbreakable policy is to never mention a pregnancy unless:

1. The woman mentions it first.

2. I can see the head coming out.

Or ya feel a little nibble?

:Lin:

[Dartgod]

When I was in HS I worked at a Little Caesars in a strip mall. We would have to go out the back door to smoke outside, and one day our femi-nazi district manager comes walking up the back sidewalk so she could have a smoke before she went inside to be a biatch. Being a little Caesars in a strip mall we obviously had a Subway, Blockbuster, and tanning salon in the same strip. Some tanning girl came in to get some Crazy bread, and she must have had extremely large breast.

The district manager (who came in through the back), and myself start walking up to the front as my manager starts to walk around the corner saying, "Man you should have seen that girl! She had..., and was holding his hands out in front of him to help describe the size of the funbags. When he turned the corner and sees the DM he quickly finshed his statement with ... "cerebral palsey."

He didn't last too long, and it is kind of funny thinking back how at the time it was important to me to keep a $3.85 an hour pizza job.
ROFL

He should have been promoted for thinking so quickly on his feet.

[broncoholic]

I worked for an IT company, and we had a weekly newsletter that had want ads on the back.
We were sitting around killing time when my buddy was making fun of an ad that read
FOR SALE: Wedding dress, Diamond Solitaire Engagement Ring, Wedding ring...etc

My buddy said "Boy she looks like she's taken some guy for a ride"

New Guy's reply who overheard "Well atleast she didn't get my guns"

Turns out the new guy was married to this chick for about a month when she dumped him.

[Rain Man]

Back when I was in the defense industry, we had a company picnic that included a touch football game. One of the mid-level managers got a little out of control, and he clipped a woman and shook her up, and also did a couple of other things that were not particularly necessary for a pickup game. It wasn't dirty or anything, but it was overly spirited play for the circumstances. Afterwards, I was recounting the tale to some other people, and I don't recall now, but I used some specific little slang term to describe what he'd done to this woman.

Fast-forward a year, and we're having massive layoffs. At some point, they transferred me part-time to a new project, and lo and behold, this guy is my new manager. We shook hands, and the first words out of his mouth were, "I guess you remember me from the picnic. I was the guy who [my little slang word] women."

Fortunately, I got laid off before I ever did any work on that project, but I have a feeling that my career would not have gone well there.

[siberian khatru]

Back when I was in the defense industry, we had a company picnic that included a touch football game. One of the mid-level managers got a little out of control, and he clipped a woman and shook her up, and also did a couple of other things that were not particularly necessary for a pickup game. It wasn't dirty or anything, but it was overly spirited play for the circumstances. Afterwards, I was recounting the tale to some other people, and I don't recall now, but I used some specific little slang term to describe what he'd done to this woman.

Fast-forward a year, and we're having massive layoffs. At some point, they transferred me part-time to a new project, and lo and behold, this guy is my new manager. We shook hands, and the first words out of his mouth were, "I guess you remember me from the picnic. I was the guy who [my little slang word] women."

Fortunately, I got laid off before I ever did any work on that project, but I have a feeling that my career would not have gone well there.

Somebody with your loose lips doesn't belong in the defense industry anyway.

[ptlyon]

Back when I was in the defense industry, we had a company picnic that included a touch football game. One of the mid-level managers got a little out of control, and he clipped a woman and shook her up, and also did a couple of other things that were not particularly necessary for a pickup game. It wasn't dirty or anything, but it was overly spirited play for the circumstances. Afterwards, I was recounting the tale to some other people, and I don't recall now, but I used some specific little slang term to describe what he'd done to this woman.

Fast-forward a year, and we're having massive layoffs. At some point, they transferred me part-time to a new project, and lo and behold, this guy is my new manager. We shook hands, and the first words out of his mouth were, "I guess you remember me from the picnic. I was the guy who [my little slang word] women."

Fortunately, I got laid off before I ever did any work on that project, but I have a feeling that my career would not have gone well there.

honkered?

[chagrin]

Back when I was in the defense industry, we had a company picnic that included a touch football game. One of the mid-level managers got a little out of control, and he clipped a woman and shook her up, and also did a couple of other things that were not particularly necessary for a pickup game. It wasn't dirty or anything, but it was overly spirited play for the circumstances. Afterwards, I was recounting the tale to some other people, and I don't recall now, but I used the term "Tea Bag" to describe what he'd done to this woman.

Fast-forward a year, and we're having massive layoffs. At some point, they transferred me part-time to a new project, and lo and behold, this guy is my new manager. We shook hands, and the first words out of his mouth were, "I guess you remember me from the picnic. I was the guy who Tea Bags women."

Fortunately, I got laid off before I ever did any work on that project, but I have a feeling that my career would not have gone well there.

[Rain Man]

Neither of those terms rings a bell.

[ptlyon]

Well I would have used honkered. :harumph:

[Iowanian]

Not long ago, a lady I work with asked a guy who came in when his wife was due....she figured early spring.

yeah...not pregnant, unless RingDings can create a zygote.

[beavis]

I work in IT, and for those of you that dont, it's riddled with probably the most insecure, shallow people with egos the size of 18 wheelers.

Even the most innocent question can result in an email flame war that lasts for days.
At my old job, I once had this worthless waste of space broadcast an email to my management, executives, and half the company with the message that one of our test environments was pointed at production, thus logging test orders in our live environment and costing the company thousands of dollars in bogus fees and fines. I think to myself, that's odd, I don't understand how that could have happened. So I go over to her desk to see what the deal is, and find that she is logged into the production environment.

I love the "reply to all" feature of Outlook.

[Simply Red]

I worked for an IT company, and we had a weekly newsletter that had want ads on the back.
We were sitting around killing time when my buddy was making fun of an ad that read
FOR SALE: Wedding dress, Diamond Solitaire Engagement Ring, Wedding ring...etc

My buddy said "Boy she looks like she's taken some guy for a ride"

New Guy's reply who overheard "Well atleast she didn't get my guns"

Turns out the new guy was married to this chick for about a month when she dumped him.


Now that was funny! :lame:

[Amnorix]

I knew a girl a few years ago that was a little chunky... well, I hadn't seen her in like 6 months and saw her and she'd lost a lot of weight... looked pretty good. Anyway, I mentioned it and said I noticed she'd lost a lot of weight, how'd you do it? She replied... "Cancer."


:eek: ROFL

[listopencil]

I've had quite a few of these moments. Once I was training a Turkish guy named Khasrow (sp?) on some computer stuff and he just wasn't getting it. After I while I just said,"Jesus, Khasrow. A monkey could do this. Why can't you?"

Apparently he was very sensitive about how hairy he was (I found out later that he would Nair his asscrack and would always shower immediately after taking a shit) and it bothered him quite a bit. He cried and complained to my boss and a few other people.

Luckily my boss was a hard-nosed Indian lady with a good sense of humor and we just laughed about it.

[Amnorix]

Although I cause myself some embarassment at the office in various ways, its usually not by saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.

I did recently though. We share space with another firm. I saw the other's firm's senior partner who had recently been on trial. He was clearly off trial now, so I asked him how the trial went.

I obviously was the ONE person in the office who didn't know that he'd lost the trial. A $17 million judgment against. But at least they didn't get triple damages for a violation of the Sherman Anti-trust Act....

"err....oh, sorry to hear that. Gotta go..."

:banghead: