I think I just seriously ****ed up....

[Rausch]

Lets say guy X is in Iraq.

Meanwhile, X's fiance is fugging around. I now know this to be a fact.

I tell his brother just as a so-you-know kind of thing. Frankly, to get advice on how it should be handled.

He says ignore it. Guy X will go ape-shiz out of his mind if he knows.

I disagree.

I tell him he can share it or I can. It's fugged up and wrong. He shouldn't marry gal X.

We get in a confrontation and I tell him to swing away if it makes him feel better. (BTW, dude hits like ****ing foreman. I escaped with my life.)

He can come back to a woman and multiple diseases or make smart and cut Gal-x lose.

I know I'm the only guy who will tell Guy-X the truth. I also know he'll hate me if I do. And odds are, so will BrotherX who I've been friends with since grade school.

I have no idea what war is like or how a man comes back after it, but I figure he deserves the truth.

I've made my choice, it's over. I guess I'd just like to hear someone who agrees....

[Mecca]

I wouldn't tell him because it will amost always turn out bad for you. Odds are he won't believe you, then will go off on you about being an asshole trying to **** up his life.

People generally only believe what they wanna believe. If she's never given him a reason to believe that, he's just going to think you're a dick.

[Otter]

I know I'm the only guy who will tell Guy-X the truth. I also know he'll hate me if I do. And odds are, so will BrotherX who I've been friends with since grade school.

Been there once and if you're really good friends he'll thank you for it...in about 6 months to a year.

If he really likes her as in wife material, it will take time to seperate you being the deliver of bad news from the guy who did the right thing.

Damned if you do....

I would want to know though.

[grandllama]

Brad, I think you're in the right, but yeah it's gonna smart in the get go...

He probably won't believe you... maybe think you were even making it up to move in on Girl X....

In the long run, you guys will be cool...

I wish I had more friends like you...

[Chief Chief]

The bro's most likely now gettin' a piece of the action. You should too.

[Logical]

I kind of agree, but is there a way to lead him to the truth without throwing it directly in his face? Seems kind of harsh.

[CrazyHorse]

As someone who has been married for 20 years, keep your nose out of it. It really isn't your place. In any relationship there will be things to work through. Let them work through it on thier own. The chances of people working through thier issues is much more difficult when other people are involved.

Contrary to what some may believe, sometimes it's worth working through for the couple. But when it becomes congested with friends and family, suddenly what's important to the couple gets lost in whats important to the family. Ego also plays more of a role when other people are involved.

I can understand you wanting to be a friend. But if being a friend means helping him disolve the relationship, then you need to help him when the break up is over. I know it's tough to watch another guy get punked. But it's tough to be alone in Iraq too. He needs something to come home to, even if you have determined what he's coming home to isn't worth it.
Believe me, it's worth it to him.

You are a good friend

[HemiEd]

I would not say anything unless he asks. He is not going to want to hear it or believe it.

[kcxiv]

If it was me, i would want to know. It will save his ass the heartache later on. If he is a real good friend of yours, then you know what the right thing to do is.

Only thing to ask yourself is, if it was you, would you want to know?

[CrazyHorse]

If it was me, i would want to know. It will save his ass the heartache later on. If he is a real good friend of yours, then you know what the right thing to do is.

Only thing to ask yourself is, if it was you, would you want to know?

What is there to gain by him knowing, right now?

[kcxiv]

What is there to gain by him knowing, right now? Does he have to know right now? or when he gets back? i was under the assumption he was going to tell him when he came back. If not then, dont tell him til he gets back, or is close to comming back. In the end, ask yourself, would i want to know? Thats all it comes down too.

[SCTrojan]

What is there to gain by him knowing, right now?

That's the big question. Like kcxiv, I say leave it alone until he's back. No telling what this kind of info will do to him over there.

It's a tough choice, but I'd be absolutely sure it was truly happening before I made the decision to say something.

[htismaqe]

Don't tell him now, when he's overseas and powerless to confront the problem.

But you DAMN WELL should tell him when he gets back. The bitch needs to be set straight. What she's doing is one of the worst things a woman can do...

As for the brother actually HITTING you over it. WTF?!?!

My guess is he's tapping it and doesn't want to stop.

[4th and Long]

I'm not sure I'd want to tell a combat veteran his wench is banging someone else. Let him find out on his own. It will save you a lot of grief and possibly, bullet holes in your skull. Guys do stupid shit and go off the deep end sometimes when you talk trash about their woman, even if it is true.

I'm also unclear as to what you hoped to accomplish by being a buttinski on this one. I know, he's your friend and all but the dude is a big boy. If he can handle shooting at the Taliban and them shooting back at him, I'm pretty sure he can handle this wench.

[seclark]

I kind of agree, but is there a way to lead him to the truth without throwing it directly in his face? Seems kind of harsh.
yep...tell everyone else but him. he'll hear about it soon enough.
sec

[ptlyon]

Stand up guy Caudle. Guy X is lucky to have a friend like you.

[jspchief]

If it was just a girlfriend, I'd probably say leave it alone.

But this is a fiance. Would he still want to marry her if he knew? I doubt it. Before he gets legally tied to this bitch, let him know what he's getting into.

At the very least, confront her and tell her to break it off.

Even if you never speak to him again afterwards, you still did what a true friend should do.

You could also go stomp a mudhole in the face of the guy that's f*cking the woman of a man off fighting for our country.

[Chiefnj]

Speak to the fiance about it in a public place.

[ptlyon]

Put it this way, Gal-X is already gone. She has made her choice and it wasn't fidelity.

If she's doing this behind his back, she most likely will let him know through a Dear Guy X letter.

JMO anyway.

[ROYC75]

Don't tell him now, when he's overseas and powerless to confront the problem.

But you DAMN WELL should tell him when he gets back. The bitch needs to be set straight. What she's doing is one of the worst things a woman can do...

As for the brother actually HITTING you over it. WTF?!?!

My guess is he's tapping it and doesn't want to stop.

BINGO ....... Besides, being in Iraq, he doesn't need this over him, he has enough to keep up with, he needs a clear head, not a confused mellon on his shoulders.

[Iowanian]

Tell him, but not until he's home.

telling him now takes away his focus and concentration. He needs that now, so he can see those wires running across the field to the house with the asshole and the button.

his Holidays are already sucking enough just being gone.

Tell him....but wait.

[Clint in Wichita]

Blackmail the whore, take all her cash, then tell him anyway.

[KCTitus]

Brad: Ive been through this with a friend, and in my case, there was no direct evidence of infidelity. But, I felt I owed it to him as a friend to let him know he was making a grave mistake based upon what I had witnessed about his fiance.

Yes, we almost came to blows about it and in the end he didnt listen to me and they married. She cheated on him less than a year later--got pregnant and confessed her infidelity. Ironically, the baby wasn't the product of the affair.

There is no worse/ignorant advice than to leave this alone and let him 'fug up' or let them 'work through' it on their own. It's quite obvious this woman has zero feelings for him and, in the end, will destory him both emotionally and financially.

[trndobrd]

You should wait until he is back. One of two things will happen: 1) Whore-X will have to decide what SHE wants to do, probably a good chance she will have to break things off herself if she decides to stick with Jody (you could encourage her to be upfront). 2) He gets back and you have to show him proof that that his betrothed is a whore.

It is frustrating to get dumped on a deployment. But rarely does the soldier not know that something is going on. Might not want to admit it to himself, but most know something is up.

[KC Kings]

As a veteran that spent a total of about a year and a half over seas away from my wife, I say that you should tell him. Cheating is widespread and goes both ways when you involve the military. He will probably be shocked, but it is a common occurance with his fellow soldiers.

After I got married I completely behaved myself. I had some drinks but never got drunk, no messing around, and no strip clubs. I didn't mind not having as much "fun", because my wife and I had an agreement. If I would have come back from a gulf cruise to find out my wife had been cheating on me, I would be pissed. If was in the middle of a gulf cruise and found out my wife was cheating on me, I would still be pissed but at least I would be able to act single at every port visit.

[SquirrellyBastard]

Can you approach and the fiance and tell her you know what she's up to and you are considering telling Guy-X?

[broncoholic]

Tell him now, She's probably spending his combat pay for Christmas gifts for her beau right now.
There's a good chance sh's just riding the money train till he gets back to drop the bomb anyway.

[Garcia Bronco]

Confront the woman...tell her to tell him or you will.

[Garcia Bronco]

Blackmail the whore, take all her cash, then tell him anyway.

We got a WINNER!!!!!

Perfect.

[Paniero]

I've been overseas, and see how these things can affect someone.

Tell him when he comes back, not while he's there. She might be the one thing that keeps him alive or sane right now.

However, after he gets back, you must let him know. Better now than after marriage, ESPECIALLY since he is in the military. The military is in all aspects of your life once you are married, and she may take a chunk of his pay.

Think about what your friend would think if he got divorced in three years and found out you knew beforehand. If he's a best friend, he should understand.

[ct]

Tell him, the man needs to know.

[teedubya]

See if you can get a hummer out of the deal. :shrug:


heh.

Yeah, wait until Guy X is back from Iraq... Confront the woman before he gets back... and give her time to do the right thing. If she doesnt, then contact Springer.

[Demonpenz]

I would set him straight when he got back then try to set him up with new woman. Then when he has his shit together rub it in her face and say way to go being a slut my boy's got his shit together and all you got is a fithy pussy. Congrats and have a happy suicide

[RedDread]

After seeing so many guys in my company have this same thing happen to them overseas, I would advise telling him right away, but...

IF AND ONLY IF: she has access to his accounts or power of attorney AND this wasn't just a fling. If so, tell him ASAP.


I saw guys literally come home with NOTHING in their bank accounts and not a damned thing they could do about it because they were dumb enough to give their girlfriend at the time power of attorney (stupid stupid stupid).

If this was a fling I'd be hesitant to tell him but obviously if it continues while he's overseas I'd tell him about it when he returned home (or possibly on his 2 weeks leave, if he still has it).

[sedated]

the only one who he would believe is the fiance.

If you tell him he won't believe you, hate you forever, and marry the girl anyway.

no good can cum of you saying anything, despite what you think is the right thing to do.

[Over-Head]

Lets say guy X is in Iraq.
but I figure he deserves the truth.
....


And he'll thank you for it :thumb:

Props for having enough sack to stand up and be more of a man than his brother.

[teedubya]

His brother needs to be kicked in his Kunt.

[chiefsfaninNC]

Stay away from the fiancee. He loves her and if you give her the opportunity to construct a story against you then you are definately ****ed. You have to tell him. But please, for god sakes, wait till he gets home. Shit like this eats people up overseas. YOU HAVE TO WAIT. There is alot of down time in the military even in combat. When you are on duty or on patrol your mind in occupied and you are busy. But then you come back and clean weapons and play spades and miss home. He cannot solve anything from there. When he comes back you take him aside and tell him. Tell him you knew since such and such a date but you waited because a vet told you that was best. Give him the facts as you know them, tell him you thought he should know, and whatever he does with this info is his business. Then drop it and take him out drinking. Unfortunately, he will probably stay with her. Good luck.

[morphius]

I had a friend who got married and went away on a honeymoon. When he got back the guy his girl had been seeing called to say he had seen the pictures in the newspaper and was a bit shocked and wanted to let him know. I'm sure he would have apprecitated a call beffore the wedding.

You can use that as an opening if you want as well, because it seems to fit this situation.

[Inspector]

I think I would hire a midget to tell him.

He wouldn't hit a midget...

[RedDread]

I'll sum up my post again: If she has power of attorney or access to accounts tell him now.

All this touchy-feely bullshit is nice and yeah he will be bummed, but at least he won't get ****ed over.

Trust me on this one.

[morphius]

I think I would hire a midget to tell him.

He wouldn't hit a midget...
Hire a dancing midget messenger, Brilliant!

[Iowanian]

After seeing so many guys in my company have this same thing happen to them overseas, I would advise telling him right away, but...

IF AND ONLY IF: she has access to his accounts or power of attorney AND this wasn't just a fling. If so, tell him ASAP.


I saw guys literally come home with NOTHING in their bank accounts and not a damned thing they could do about it because they were dumb enough to give their girlfriend at the time power of attorney (stupid stupid stupid).

If this was a fling I'd be hesitant to tell him but obviously if it continues while he's overseas I'd tell him about it when he returned home (or possibly on his 2 weeks leave, if he still has it).

I had a good friend who was in OIF1...while gone, his wife of 2 years, who had made him get a big Vacect., was a total hooor. I suspected quite correctly that she was being a hooker, but I had no idea that she was taking her sisters on trips to florida, ran all the miles up on a leased vehicle with 18 months left to go, leased another, and maxed all his ccs.....and spend all his hazard duty pay.

He came home to nothing but a pile of debt and a Divorce. I told him a couple weeks after he got back what I suspected, but his brother had already told him what he'd seen.

My brother is there, and I'd not tell him until he got back in the same situation. Focus is probably hard enough for them to keep over there this time of year, and lack of focus can get them dead in a hurry.

Tell him, but wait.

[Iowanian]

I think I would hire a midget to tell him.

He wouldn't hit a midget...

Would it be in a singing message?

"Brad said that he's your friend
He wanted you to know...
He's been looking at your woman
And knows that she's a Ho..HO! HO!

He hates to be the one to say
the things that needed said...
While you were fightin in the war
She's had more dicks... than M&Ms
Melting in her head.

So don't marry that disgusting rut
She filled your bed with fleas.
Her hatchet wound is worn out
and could give you a disease"

[RedDread]

I guess it would also help to know where your buddy is over there and what he's doing. If he's working for the post office or something I don't think he'll be getting into too many situations where a lack of focus will hurt him. ROFL

I hate to pull the "I'm a veteran, I'm always right" card, but seriously

Time heals all wounds, but you'll never be able to get the monies back!

One thing also to remember is he's not alone over there, he has a good support system through squad mates and his CoC, as well as a bunch of guys who are going through the exact same scenario he is... whether they know it or not.

[teedubya]

Send him some pie... with a note inside that says "Your Hair -ah -pie back home is ****ing other guys"

that might be subtle.

[StcChief]

She is bad news. Don't tell him, he should be smart enough to find out. Secrets like that don't keep well.

[ptlyon]

I agree with RedDread here, but unfortunately wheither she has access to those accounts, etc., is probably unknown.

They are just engaged, not married, but if they lived together, joint accounts, etc., he could come home to a mess.

[KCChiefsMan]

take some photographs for proof, tell him! It would be better for him to break up with her before the marriage. If she's gonna cheat on him now, she'll cheat on him later too

[RedDread]

take some photographs for proof, tell him! It would be better for him to break up with her before the marriage. If she's gonna cheat on him now, she'll cheat on him later too

A deployment to Iraq is a very unique situation. Friends and family get very upset, and a lot of that is due to the fact that they have zero control of the situation. Many times spouses cheat because they fear that their S.O. may not return home at all.

And some do it simply because there is less fear of reprocussions.

But I disagree that all would do it again while their S.O. is with them. Some will, some won't.

[ct]

No way you should wait IMHO, tell him immediately. Give him time to work our his frustration on some insurgent punk-ass over there!!

[jidar]

Sounds to me like the bitch is a bitch, but you're a god damned woman for being so hell bent on spilling the beans you're even going to get in a fight over it.

I guess next you can go tell all your friends (forums) and I'm sure you've already talked about it at work.

Tomorrow you can tell your hair dresser when you get the rollers removed from your hair.

[CrazyHorse]

Lets say guy X is in Iraq.

Meanwhile, X's fiance is fugging around. I now know this to be a fact.

I tell his brother just as a so-you-know kind of thing. Frankly, to get advice on how it should be handled.

He says ignore it. Guy X will go ape-shiz out of his mind if he knows.

I disagree.

I tell him he can share it or I can. It's fugged up and wrong. He shouldn't marry gal X.

We get in a confrontation and I tell him to swing away if it makes him feel better. (BTW, dude hits like ****ing foreman. I escaped with my life.)

He can come back to a woman and multiple diseases or make smart and cut Gal-x lose.

I know I'm the only guy who will tell Guy-X the truth. I also know he'll hate me if I do. And odds are, so will BrotherX who I've been friends with since grade school.

I have no idea what war is like or how a man comes back after it, but I figure he deserves the truth.

I've made my choice, it's over. I guess I'd just like to hear someone who agrees....

After thinking about it a bit, I think what I would do is confront the girlfriend. I would tell her that if she does not tell him on his return to the states, that you will. It gives all parties an opportunity to save face.

Then, if she decides she doesn't want to tell him, you could tell him yourself. Although in telling the brother, you have probably already gone as far as I would have.

Good luck with it.

[Matt Helm]

BINGO ....... Besides, being in Iraq, he doesn't need this over him, he has enough to keep up with, he needs a clear head, not a confused mellon on his shoulders.

Reading from the first to this point, this is the best answer as of now. You don't want GuyX losing concentration on the task at hand. Conflicting personal issues could cause his death, don't say a word.

[jidar]

One more thing.

Putting this shit into his head while in the middle of a war zone where he could be killed is near criminal in my opinion.

Imagine yourself in the same situation and then finding out something like this? I don't know about you but I know what I'd do. I'd become reckless, pissed at the world, I'd pull some Rambo shit and have a damned good chance at getting myself killed. Want that on your conscience?

[Fishpicker]

I'd want to know about it in that situation. I think you're right for wanting to tell him.

[synthesis2]

When he gets back have a very well written letter done that is annomous. Give as many details as possible and tell him in the letter not to confront her right away about it but to look for certain things so he can find out without just confronting her without proof... A similar thing happened to a friend of mine and I sent him a letter without a return address etc. and within two weeks he told me about his fiance and how he found out she was cheating.. When I asked him how it happened, he said he just caught on to inconsistancies.. ( of which I outlined in the letter) It works well..

[synthesis2]

but wait until he gets back to send the letter of course..

[RedDread]

Reading from the first to this point, this is the best answer as of now. You don't want GuyX losing concentration on the task at hand. Conflicting personal issues could cause his death, don't say a word.

Any job he is working over there is not life and death, and if he is having problems he can be relieved of duty for a few days till he gets his wits about him.

Dispense with the cliches please and look at the benefits of telling him now vs later. Imagine coming back from a year of service and having no money to show for it, no fiance to come back to, or one that breaks it off right as you return home.

If you tell him and he listens to you, then you've saved him a lot of heartache and cash later.

If he doesn't listen to you then he's out a friend, a fiancee, and a whole bunch of money. But it'll be his own fault for not listening to you


With deployment breakups the general rule is that the girlfriend/fiancee would not break it off if they had any sort of access to the account, but if they found someone else and had no monetary link to the soldier, they would break it off while they were still in Iraq. They string guys along if they have control of their funds.

Some bitches are cold and heartless.

[ptlyon]

Some bitches are cold and heartless.

Some?

[CrazyHorse]

Any job he is working over there is not life and death, and if he is having problems he can be relieved of duty for a few days till he gets his wits about him.

Dispense with the cliches please and look at the benefits of telling him now vs later. Imagine coming back from a year of service and having no money to show for it, no fiance to come back to, or one that breaks it off right as you return home.

If you tell him and he listens to you, then you've saved him a lot of heartache and cash later.

If he doesn't listen to you then he's out a friend, a fiancee, and a whole bunch of money. But it'll be his own fault for not listening to you


With deployment breakups the general rule is that the girlfriend/fiancee would not break it off if they had any sort of access to the account, but if they found someone else and had no monetary link to the soldier, they would break it off while they were still in Iraq. They string guys along if they have control of their funds.

Some bitches are cold and heartless.

You are assuming the relationship is over.

[ptlyon]

You are assuming the relationship is over.

It should be.

Once a cheater, always a cheater.

[Matt Helm]

Any job he is working over there is not life and death, and if he is having problems he can be relieved of duty for a few days till he gets his wits about him.

Dispense with the cliches please and look at the benefits of telling him now vs later. Imagine coming back from a year of service and having no money to show for it, no fiance to come back to, or one that breaks it off right as you return home.

If you tell him and he listens to you, then you've saved him a lot of heartache and cash later.

If he doesn't listen to you then he's out a friend, a fiancee, and a whole bunch of money. But it'll be his own fault for not listening to you


With deployment breakups the general rule is that the girlfriend/fiancee would not break it off if they had any sort of access to the account, but if they found someone else and had no monetary link to the soldier, they would break it off while they were still in Iraq. They string guys along if they have control of their funds.

Some bitches are cold and heartless.

I would guess that you are not looking at his situation with experienced eyes.

He is in Iraq! Which part of that did you miss? The facts are that everyone on the ground there needs to keep total concentration on what they are doing. Insurection is tag teaming with terrorists.

The Army/Marines are not going to say to take a stand down while he is assigned to a unit on the line. If he is a admin type in country he still has to be watchful for anything that could be jeopardizing his life or the lives of his compatriots.

I understand the situation that you are referring to, I was on a ship that had one of the divisions with a 25% divorce rate while we were deployed. None of them found out about the situation until they arrived back in the States. Most of them lost quite a bit, but in the end they were recompensed, military lawyers represented them in court and had their property and money restored (to a point).

In any case the guy is going to be tore up, why tear him up in a bad location?

[Mr. Laz]

don't tell him while he's over in Iraq where all he can do is stew about it ... or worse get himself killed.

if your gonna tell him wait until he comes back home.

[RedDread]

You are assuming the relationship is over.

Yeah, I guess I'm putting myself in his shoes.


But if, in some of my darkest days, someone I count on for support and encouragement was f*cking Joe Schmoe next door, I would be done with her.

No dude deserves a woman that will abandon him when his need is greatest.

Ass to curb for you. :shake:

[RedDread]

I would guess that you are not looking at his situation with experienced eyes.


Bzzt! Sorry guess again.

OIF II

[CrazyHorse]

It should be.

Once a cheater, always a cheater.

I disagree with that statement.

Besides, the decision to end a relationship is not to be made by an outside source. The outsider has no idea what is invested in a relationship and therefore should not be making the decision. This is precisely why you dont just fly into a situation like this. You stay the hell out of it.

You may subscribe to the theory that a roll in the hay is worth ending a relationship. And in many cases, it is. But that does not mean that everyone should end it.

For example: I've been married 20 years. I have cheated twice in those 20 years. Both being over 15 years ago. My wife has cheated once. Also over 15 years ago.

I thank God that she or I never walked away from this relationship. But looking back I realize that most people dont get to a point in thier relationship where we are now, if they dont work their way through stuff like that.

It's definately not a black/white issue. There are many layers that no one on this board sees. JMO

[jAZ]

Too many posts to catch up on the details, but if he's still in Iraq, he's safe from her. No need to share yet.

Once he's returned, maybe share the details then if you feel it's your place.

But don't leave him stuck in Iraq going apeshit over this kinda thing with no ability to work it out. That's the kinda thing that would push the wrong person over the edge.

[RedDread]

I disagree with that statement.

Besides, the decision to end a relationship is not to be made by an outside source. The outsider has no idea what is invested in a relationship and therefore should not be making the decision. This is precisely why you dont just fly into a situation like this. You stay the hell out of it.

You may subscribe to the theory that a roll in the hay is worth ending a relationship. And in many cases, it is. But that does not mean that everyone should end it.

For example: I've been married 20 years. I have cheated twice in those 20 years. Both being over 15 years ago. My wife has cheated once. Also over 15 years ago.

I thank God that she or I never walked away from this relationship. But looking back I realize that most people dont get to a point in thier relationship where we are now, if they dont work their way through stuff like that.

It's definately not a black/white issue. There are many layers that no one on this board sees. JMO


If it was just a fling I think there is a chance to smooth things over. But if this is a regular thing he needs to cut ties immediately to risk losing money to her that will be spent on her new relationship.

A power of attorney is a very...powerful document....for lack of a better word.

[Duck Dog]

I have no idea what war is like or how a man comes back after it, but I figure he deserves the truth.



At Hood after GWI, there were at least 4 or 5 suicides and at least 3 or 4 wives being killed. All for this same reason. One guy hung himself off of an obstacle course obstacle, so everyone could see him as they drove onto post. Another soldier shot his wife then took his own life (he lived around the corner from us). Another guy shot his kids, his wife and the douchebag that was banging his slut wife. Another guy stabbed his wife like 50 times. And countless beatings. All because the sluts couldn't keep their legs closed.

I'd tell him the truth but only after he returns. He doesn't need to hear this while he's across the pond and can't do anything about it. Wait until he gets home.

If he kills another soldier, he'll get life. If he kills his wife for cheating, the Army is usually pretty lenient.

[Sully]

I say tell him now. The truth is hard a lot of the time, but it's still the right thing. If you wait, there are any number of things that could happen...

[CrazyHorse]

If it was just a fling I think there is a chance to smooth things over. But if this is a regular thing he needs to cut ties immediately to risk losing money to her that will be spent on her new relationship.

Well I can fully appreciate the money side of the equasion. As men, it's either happend to us, or we know many men who have been taken to the cleaners by some chic screwin around. Dont misinterpret what I am saying.

What I mean is simply, every man has the right to make his own decision. We dont need someone else clouding an already difficult and trying life situation. The decision needs to be made with as little shame involved as possible.

But if the lady is draining his funds to run around with some other prick, then someone needs to help shut that down. Knowing Rausch has talked with the brother, I see no real need to go further. If she is doing something to his money/future the brother should be the 1st to step up.

I really see no need to take it any further than he has. The family knows. That's good enough, in my book. But I can appreciate where you're coming from.

[Duck Dog]

I say tell him now. The truth is hard a lot of the time, but it's still the right thing. If you wait, there are any number of things that could happen...


Why would you want this guy to have to deal with this in a foreign land where he has no way of realing dealing with it, with out going bazerk and fragging a bunch Iraqi school children? Only a pure sadist would tell him befire he got home.

[RedDread]

This topic is pretty near and dear to me, I saw no less than 8 people in my company alone go through the cheat, cash grab, and split routine.

The ones who didn't have financial ties to their girlfriends just got depressed for a few days and were usually given light duty and sent to the base head-shrinker.

One guy had to go home on emergency leave because his wife paid none of the bills for like 3 months while spending his cash on God knows what....

[Sully]

I would hope he was an adult with some actual self control. All you hear about the military is the discipline it instills, well, is that true or not?

[Duck Dog]

At Hood after GWI, there were at least 4 or 5 suicides and at least 3 or 4 wives being killed. All for this same reason. One guy hung himself off of an obstacle course obstacle, so everyone could see him as they drove onto post. Another soldier shot his wife then took his own life (he lived around the corner from us). Another guy shot his kids, his wife and the douchebag that was banging his slut wife. Another guy stabbed his wife like 50 times. And countless beatings. All because the sluts couldn't keep their legs closed.

I'd tell him the truth but only after he returns. He doesn't need to hear this while he's across the pond and can't do anything about it. Wait until he gets home.

If he kills another soldier, he'll get life. If he kills his wife for cheating, the Army is usually pretty lenient.


Ironicaly enough, I emailed my exwife about this, and she said I was mistaken on one point. They guy who lived around the corner from us, hung himself outside of his house off his fireplace.

[bogie]

I mean no disrespect. Unless you know in detail their situation, mind your own business.

[Duck Dog]

I would hope he was an adult with some actual self control. All you hear about the military is the discipline it instills, well, is that true or not?

What does hearing about your girl cheating on you and having 'military discipline' have to do with one another? After 11 years in the Army and countless deployments, I have seen it happen many times and different guys handle it differently.

And you're a jerk for bringing it up the way you did. As a matter of fact if you never served and were never deployed and never witnessed something like this happen first hand, perhaps you should STFU and listen to those that have.

I couldn't imagine a worse feeling of betrayal.

[Sully]

So I should not expect those who are trained and paid to defend me... those who feel the losses of comrades in arms on a weekly basis, to have the self control not to blow up a school or shoot a fellow soldier after finding out their girl cheated?
You brought up those scenarios.
I simply stated that though they hear bad news they should be adults and control themselves not to go sociopath in the situation. If they can't, they have no place carrying guns in the first place.
You seem to have very little trust in those men... that make you the jerk...lol

[Duck Dog]

So I should not expect those who are trained and paid to defend me... those who feel the losses of comrades in arms on a weekly basis, to have the self control not to blow up a school or shoot a fellow soldier after finding out their girl cheated?
You brought up those scenarios.
I simply stated that though they hear bad news they should be adults and control themselves not to go sociopath in the situation. If they can't, they have no place carrying guns in the first place.
You seem to have very little trust in those men... that make you the jerk...lol

I'll dumb this down for you a bit. Lets pretend you had half the balls of a service member and were doing a tour in a hostile enviroment with little insight on when or if you are coming home. All you have to keep you sane are the dreams of your girl back home. Then one day, someone tells you she is cheating on you. You can not do anything about it except take it how ever you are going tot take it.

You see, people handle that information differently than others. Military guys aren't fugging robots, they are people that hurt when their girl fugs them over like that. I have no idea how he would handle it. personaly, I wouldn't want to know until I got home.

[Duck Dog]

So I should not expect those who are trained and paid to defend me...

Having to defend those who do not appreciate it is an unfortunate cirumstance.