I think I just seriously ****ed up....

**Rausch** · 12-23-2005, 03:59 AM

Lets say guy X is in Iraq.

Meanwhile, X's fiance is fugging around. I now know this to be a fact.

I tell his brother just as a so-you-know kind of thing. Frankly, to get advice on how it should be handled.

He says ignore it. Guy X will go ape-shiz out of his mind if he knows.

I disagree.

I tell him he can share it or I can. It's fugged up and wrong. He shouldn't marry gal X.

We get in a confrontation and I tell him to swing away if it makes him feel better. (BTW, dude hits like ****ing foreman. I escaped with my life.)

He can come back to a woman and multiple diseases or make smart and cut Gal-x lose.

I know I'm the only guy who will tell Guy-X the truth. I also know he'll hate me if I do. And odds are, so will BrotherX who I've been friends with since grade school.

I have no idea what war is like or how a man comes back after it, but I figure he deserves the truth.

I've made my choice, it's over. I guess I'd just like to hear someone who agrees....

Mecca · 12-23-2005, 04:02 AM

I wouldn't tell him because it will amost always turn out bad for you. Odds are he won't believe you, then will go off on you about being an asshole trying to **** up his life.

People generally only believe what they wanna believe. If she's never given him a reason to believe that, he's just going to think you're a dick.

Otter · 12-23-2005, 04:05 AM

Quote:

I know I'm the only guy who will tell Guy-X the truth. I also know he'll hate me if I do. And odds are, so will BrotherX who I've been friends with since grade school.

Been there once and if you're really good friends he'll thank you for it...in about 6 months to a year.

If he really likes her as in wife material, it will take time to seperate you being the deliver of bad news from the guy who did the right thing.

Damned if you do....

I would want to know though.

**grandllama** · 12-23-2005, 04:40 AM

Brad, I think you're in the right, but yeah it's gonna smart in the get go...

He probably won't believe you... maybe think you were even making it up to move in on Girl X....

In the long run, you guys will be cool...

I wish I had more friends like you...

Chief Chief · 12-23-2005, 04:53 AM

The bro's most likely now gettin' a piece of the action. You should too.

Logical · 12-23-2005, 05:05 AM

I kind of agree, but is there a way to lead him to the truth without throwing it directly in his face? Seems kind of harsh.

CrazyHorse · 12-23-2005, 06:21 AM

As someone who has been married for 20 years, keep your nose out of it. It really isn't your place. In any relationship there will be things to work through. Let them work through it on thier own. The chances of people working through thier issues is much more difficult when other people are involved.

Contrary to what some may believe, sometimes it's worth working through for the couple. But when it becomes congested with friends and family, suddenly what's important to the couple gets lost in whats important to the family. Ego also plays more of a role when other people are involved.

I can understand you wanting to be a friend. But if being a friend means helping him disolve the relationship, then you need to help him when the break up is over. I know it's tough to watch another guy get punked. But it's tough to be alone in Iraq too. He needs something to come home to, even if you have determined what he's coming home to isn't worth it.
Believe me, it's worth it to him.

You are a good friend

**HemiEd** · 12-23-2005, 06:24 AM

I would not say anything unless he asks. He is not going to want to hear it or believe it.

kcxiv · 12-23-2005, 06:25 AM

If it was me, i would want to know. It will save his ass the heartache later on. If he is a real good friend of yours, then you know what the right thing to do is.

Only thing to ask yourself is, if it was you, would you want to know?

CrazyHorse · 12-23-2005, 06:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kcxiv

If it was me, i would want to know. It will save his ass the heartache later on. If he is a real good friend of yours, then you know what the right thing to do is.

Only thing to ask yourself is, if it was you, would you want to know?

What is there to gain by him knowing, right now?

kcxiv · 12-23-2005, 06:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CrazyHorse

What is there to gain by him knowing, right now?

Does he have to know right now? or when he gets back? i was under the assumption he was going to tell him when he came back. If not then, dont tell him til he gets back, or is close to comming back. In the end, ask yourself, would i want to know? Thats all it comes down too.

SCTrojan · 12-23-2005, 07:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CrazyHorse

What is there to gain by him knowing, right now?

That's the big question. Like kcxiv, I say leave it alone until he's back. No telling what this kind of info will do to him over there.

It's a tough choice, but I'd be absolutely sure it was truly happening before I made the decision to say something.

htismaqe · 12-23-2005, 07:22 AM

Don't tell him now, when he's overseas and powerless to confront the problem.

But you DAMN WELL should tell him when he gets back. The bitch needs to be set straight. What she's doing is one of the worst things a woman can do...

As for the brother actually HITTING you over it. WTF?!?!

My guess is he's tapping it and doesn't want to stop.

4th and Long · 12-23-2005, 07:26 AM

I'm not sure I'd want to tell a combat veteran his wench is banging someone else. Let him find out on his own. It will save you a lot of grief and possibly, bullet holes in your skull. Guys do stupid shit and go off the deep end sometimes when you talk trash about their woman, even if it is true.

I'm also unclear as to what you hoped to accomplish by being a buttinski on this one. I know, he's your friend and all but the dude is a big boy. If he can handle shooting at the Taliban and them shooting back at him, I'm pretty sure he can handle this wench.

seclark · 12-23-2005, 07:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vlad Logicslav

I kind of agree, but is there a way to lead him to the truth without throwing it directly in his face? Seems kind of harsh.

yep...tell everyone else but him. he'll hear about it soon enough.
sec

12-23-2005, 03:59 AM
Rausch Mindful Taoist German Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $7891662	I think I just seriously ed up.... Lets say guy X is in Iraq. Meanwhile, X's fiance is fugging around. I now know this to be a fact. I tell his brother just as a so-you-know kind of thing. Frankly, to get advice on how it should be handled. He says ignore it. Guy X will go ape-shiz out of his mind if he knows. I disagree. I tell him he can share it or I can. It's fugged up and wrong. He shouldn't marry gal X. We get in a confrontation and I tell him to swing away if it makes him feel better. (BTW, dude hits like ****ing foreman. I escaped with my life.) He can come back to a woman and multiple diseases or make smart and cut Gal-x lose. I know I'm the only guy who will tell Guy-X the truth. I also know he'll hate me if I do. And odds are, so will BrotherX who I've been friends with since grade school. I have no idea what war is like or how a man comes back after it, but I figure he deserves the truth. I've made my choice, it's over. I guess I'd just like to hear someone who agrees....
Posts: 74,428

12-23-2005, 04:02 AM	#2
Mecca Hockey Town Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Kansas City, Missouri Casino cash: $2297050	I wouldn't tell him because it will amost always turn out bad for you. Odds are he won't believe you, then will go off on you about being an asshole trying to **** up his life. People generally only believe what they wanna believe. If she's never given him a reason to believe that, he's just going to think you're a dick.
Posts: 111,137

12-23-2005, 04:40 AM	#4
grandllama Hi, I'm Llama Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Colts Hell Casino cash: $10004900	Brad, I think you're in the right, but yeah it's gonna smart in the get go... He probably won't believe you... maybe think you were even making it up to move in on Girl X.... In the long run, you guys will be cool... I wish I had more friends like you... __________________ How to I put something here?
Posts: 5,723

12-23-2005, 04:53 AM	#5
Chief Chief Veteran Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Kansas City MO Casino cash: $10004900	The bro's most likely now gettin' a piece of the action. You should too.
Posts: 3,072

12-23-2005, 05:05 AM	#6
Logical Screw U if U can't take a joke Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $10004900	I kind of agree, but is there a way to lead him to the truth without throwing it directly in his face? Seems kind of harsh.
Posts: 31,579

12-23-2005, 06:21 AM	#7
CrazyHorse All Motor! Join Date: Sep 2000 Casino cash: $10004900	As someone who has been married for 20 years, keep your nose out of it. It really isn't your place. In any relationship there will be things to work through. Let them work through it on thier own. The chances of people working through thier issues is much more difficult when other people are involved. Contrary to what some may believe, sometimes it's worth working through for the couple. But when it becomes congested with friends and family, suddenly what's important to the couple gets lost in whats important to the family. Ego also plays more of a role when other people are involved. I can understand you wanting to be a friend. But if being a friend means helping him disolve the relationship, then you need to help him when the break up is over. I know it's tough to watch another guy get punked. But it's tough to be alone in Iraq too. He needs something to come home to, even if you have determined what he's coming home to isn't worth it. Believe me, it's worth it to him. You are a good friend
Posts: 2,118

12-23-2005, 06:24 AM	#8
HemiEd Supporter Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Ozarks Casino cash: $2960564	I would not say anything unless he asks. He is not going to want to hear it or believe it.
Posts: 33,525

12-23-2005, 06:25 AM	#9
kcxiv In Search of a Life Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Central Valley, Cali Casino cash: $8807996	If it was me, i would want to know. It will save his ass the heartache later on. If he is a real good friend of yours, then you know what the right thing to do is. Only thing to ask yourself is, if it was you, would you want to know?
Posts: 29,110

12-23-2005, 07:22 AM	#13
htismaqe 'Tis my eye! Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Chiefsplanet Casino cash: $10269900	Don't tell him now, when he's overseas and powerless to confront the problem. But you DAMN WELL should tell him when he gets back. The bitch needs to be set straight. What she's doing is one of the worst things a woman can do... As for the brother actually HITTING you over it. WTF?!?! My guess is he's tapping it and doesn't want to stop.
Posts: 100,022

12-23-2005, 07:26 AM	#14
4th and Long Wheeeeee!!! Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: In a house Casino cash: $9184925	I'm not sure I'd want to tell a combat veteran his wench is banging someone else. Let him find out on his own. It will save you a lot of grief and possibly, bullet holes in your skull. Guys do stupid shit and go off the deep end sometimes when you talk trash about their woman, even if it is true. I'm also unclear as to what you hoped to accomplish by being a buttinski on this one. I know, he's your friend and all but the dude is a big boy. If he can handle shooting at the Taliban and them shooting back at him, I'm pretty sure he can handle this wench. __________________
Posts: 19,796