DaveC
10-19-2000, 11:39 AM
This could explain his breezy column about the Chiefs and Rams this morning.
(AP Kansas City Mo.) WHITLOCK GRATEFUL, RELIEVED TO HAVE BOWEL MOVEMENT.
Kansas City Star sports reporter Jason Whitlock announced today that he, "thanked his lucky stars" that the seven pounds of brisket he consumed at Gates barbecue had "finally found the exit ramp." An enthusiastic patron of Gates, Whitlock stated that he, "just sort of blacked out after the first three orders, and I guess it just turned into a frenzy after that." Counter worker Letitia Williams said she feared for Whitlock's health. "He was sweating like a pack mule - and I thought he'd lose a finger as fast as he was destroying that meat." she said. "There was so much sauce on the floor, it looked like O.J.'s driveway." Upon completion of the Herculean movement, Ollie Gates requested the gigantic bolus for display at the restaurant as a tribute to Whitlocks patronage. But Whitlock said that he had already, "sent that rascal packing", with the help of hazardous waste crews and the Army Corps of Engineers. Asked if he had learned anything from the experience, Whitlock said, " I never thought a man could crush a toilet bowl with his bare hands."
(AP Kansas City Mo.) WHITLOCK GRATEFUL, RELIEVED TO HAVE BOWEL MOVEMENT.
Kansas City Star sports reporter Jason Whitlock announced today that he, "thanked his lucky stars" that the seven pounds of brisket he consumed at Gates barbecue had "finally found the exit ramp." An enthusiastic patron of Gates, Whitlock stated that he, "just sort of blacked out after the first three orders, and I guess it just turned into a frenzy after that." Counter worker Letitia Williams said she feared for Whitlock's health. "He was sweating like a pack mule - and I thought he'd lose a finger as fast as he was destroying that meat." she said. "There was so much sauce on the floor, it looked like O.J.'s driveway." Upon completion of the Herculean movement, Ollie Gates requested the gigantic bolus for display at the restaurant as a tribute to Whitlocks patronage. But Whitlock said that he had already, "sent that rascal packing", with the help of hazardous waste crews and the Army Corps of Engineers. Asked if he had learned anything from the experience, Whitlock said, " I never thought a man could crush a toilet bowl with his bare hands."