My Five Wives

[Dinny Bossa Nova]

They all live inside the same woman. They don't always get along with one another. They only show up one at a time, but can change places in the blink of an eye.

GIRLFRIEND WIFE - I am on my hands and knees in love with this woman with every fiber of my being, heart and soul. Absolute devotion eternal. If she were the only one in there, I would be the luckiest and happiest man alive. The other four are jealous because I go kiss her every few minutes when she is in the other room for a while. She has only one flaw. Sometimes she turns into

BOSS WIFE - I like her, but she makes me nervous as hell. She is hard to please most of the time. When she is not, she is downright impossible to please. When that happens, enter

STUBBORN WIFE - Every once in a great while, she is actually cute and can be reasoned with. When she shows up, something bad is going to happen. Like

MAD & HATEFUL WIFE - Can't stand her. Don't want to be around her. When she shows up, she always stays too long. If you try to reason with her, enter

PSYCHO WIFE - She beats anything I ever seen. Scares me to death. If you ever actually SEE Psycho Wife, DUCK!!!!!

Dinny

[stonedstooge]

She's driven you over the edge man

[Setsuna]

Is this Chiefsplanet or the psychology forum?

[Dinny Bossa Nova]

Is this Chiefsplanet or the psychology forum?

You must be looking for complaints. That's down the hall, second door on the left.

This is the TIC department for old married people.

You be sure and have a real great day.

Dinny

[listopencil]

http://www.badideatshirts.com/Assets/ProductImages/PW_0056_A12754B_BETTER_LIVING.jpg

[Setsuna]

You must be looking for complaints. That's down the hall, second door on the left.

This is the TIC department for old married people.

You be sure and have a real great day.

Dinny
Then tell her this crap. She's your best friend isn't she? Discuss it with her, we don't need to hear it. Consider yourself blessed to be married at all.

[Bump]

this is why my relationships don't last too long. I don't deal with bullshit and games.

[CrazyPhuD]

this is why my relationships don't last too long. I don't deal with bullshit and games.

And yet you root for the chiefs.....:BS:

[BlackHelicopters]

What?

[bevischief]

wtf is going on here?

[Rasputin]

PIIHB

[loochy]

This seems like it was taken from a mid-90s AOL chain email.

Where are all of the asterisks and tildes?

Scroll down and you will have good luck.

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@@@@@~*~*~*~*~*~ GOOD LUCK WILL FOLLOW YOU~*~*~*~*~*~@@@@@

[Dave Lane]

And its oddly missing parts...

[Demonpenz]

This seems like it was taken from a mid-90s AOL chain email.

Where are all of the asterisks and tildes?

Scroll down and you will have good luck.

*
**
***
****
*****
******
*******
******
*****
****
***
**
*

@@@@@~*~*~*~*~*~ GOOD LUCK WILL FOLLOW YOU~*~*~*~*~*~@@@@@

yes

[Graystoke]

I have had #4 and #5 wives. Thats why there won't be a Number 3 wife.

[J Diddy]

This seems like it was taken from a mid-90s AOL chain email.

Where are all of the asterisks and tildes?

Scroll down and you will have good luck.

*
**
***
****
*****
******
*******
******
*****
****
***
**
*

@@@@@~*~*~*~*~*~ GOOD LUCK WILL FOLLOW YOU~*~*~*~*~*~@@@@@


IF YOU SEND ME $59 TO A SOON TO BE DISCLOSED OFFSHORE ACCOUNT


FYP

[loochy]

The Different Types Of Poop

Ghost Poop ~~ You know you've pooped. There's poop on the toilet paper, but no poop in the bowl.

Teflon Coated Poop ~~ Comes out so slick, clean and easy that you don't feel it. No traces of poop on the toilet paper. You have to look in the toilet bowl to be sure you did it!

Gooey Poop ~~ This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe your butt 12 times and it still doesn't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your underwear so you don't stain it. This poop leaves permanent skid marks in the toilet.

Second Thought Poop ~~ You're all done wiping your butt and you're about to stand up when you realize it...you've got some more.

Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Poop ~~ This kind is the kind of poop that killed Elvis. It doesn't come until you're all sweaty, trembling and purple from straining so hard.

Bali Belly Poop ~~ You poop so much you lose 5 kilos.

Right Now Poop ~~ You better be within 10 seconds of a toilet. Usually it has its head out before you get your pants down.

King Kong or Commode Choker Poop ~~ This poop is so big that you know it won't go down the toilet unless you break it into smaller chunks. A coat hanger works well. This kind of poop usually happens at someone else's house.

Wet Cheeks Poop ~~ This poop hits the water sideways and makes a BIG splash that gets your butt wet.

Wish Poop ~~ You sit there all cramped up and fart a few times, but no poop!

Cement Block or Oh God Poop ~~ You wish you'd gotten a spinal block before you poop.

Snake Poop ~~ This poop is fairly soft and about as big around as your thumb and at least three feet long.

Cork Poop (Also Known as Floater Poop) ~~ Even after the third flush, it's still floating in there. My god! How do I get rid of it? This poop usually happens at someone else's house.

Mexican Food Poop (also called Screamers) ~ You'll know it's alright to eat again when your butthole stops burning.

Beer Drunk Poop ~~ This happens the day after the night before. Normally your poop doesn't smell too bad, but this poop is BAD. Usually there's somebody standing outside to use the bathroom. This kind of poop also usually happens at someone else's house.

The Frightened Turtle ~~ The kind of poop that just pokes its head out then quickly goes back in.

The Bungee Poop ~~ The kind of poop that just hangs off your butt before it falls into the water.

The Ring of Fire Poop ~~ The kind of poop where you eat really spicy food and your butthole feels like the inside of a cigarette lighter.

The Crippler ~~ The kind of poop where you have to sit on the toilet so long your legs go numb from the waist down.

The Big Bobber ~~ The kind of poop that no matter how many times you flush it always floats back to the surface.

The Chitty Chitty Bang Bang ~~ The kind of poop that hits you when you're trapped in your car in a traffic jam.

The Incredible Hulk Poop ~~ The king of poop that sits in the toilet overnight and mysteriously expands to twice it's normal size.

Jack the Ripper Poop ~~ The kind of poop that yanks out your butthair as it pushes its way out.

The Party Pooper ~~ The giant poop you take at a party. And when you flush the toilet, you watch in horror as the water starts to rise.

The Toxic Gas Poop ~~ The kind of poop that makes you pass out and fall of the toilet before you finish, and then you wake up in some strange South American town.

Dirty Bowl Poop ~~ The kind of poop that comes out in a million pieces a second, reminiscent of an avalanche - but with rocket propulsion, and splatters all over the toilet bowl.

The Windy City Poop ~~ When you sit down, and fart for so long and hard that you no longer need to take a poop.

Oh Poop! Poop ~~ You poop so much and wipe your butt so furiously you run out of toilet paper and you say OH ****!

The Never Ending Poop ~~ It's the poop that keeps running out of your butt like pee, and just when you start wiping your butt your stomach gargles and splash, more poop runs out. This always happens after eating at K.F.C.

[FlaChief58]

Divorce wives 2-5 & bring in wife #6 (porn star wife). You're welcome

[houstonwhodat]

They all live inside the same woman. They don't always get along with one another. They only show up one at a time, but can change places in the blink of an eye.

GIRLFRIEND WIFE - I am on my hands and knees in love with this woman with every fiber of my being, heart and soul. Absolute devotion eternal. If she were the only one in there, I would be the luckiest and happiest man alive. The other four are jealous because I go kiss her every few minutes when she is in the other room for a while. She has only one flaw. Sometimes she turns into

BOSS WIFE - I like her, but she makes me nervous as hell. She is hard to please most of the time. When she is not, she is downright impossible to please. When that happens, enter

STUBBORN WIFE - Every once in a great while, she is actually cute and can be reasoned with. When she shows up, something bad is going to happen. Like

MAD & HATEFUL WIFE - Can't stand her. Don't want to be around her. When she shows up, she always stays too long. If you try to reason with her, enter

PSYCHO WIFE - She beats anything I ever seen. Scares me to death. If you ever actually SEE Psycho Wife, DUCK!!!!!

Dinny



Venus & Mars.

[Imon Yourside]

I usually get 1 and sometimes 3, so I guess I don't have it so bad.

[BlackHelicopters]

Anal sex fixes all.

[loochy]

Anal sex fixes all.

but it leads to:


Teflon Coated Poop ~~ Comes out so slick, clean and easy that you don't feel it. No traces of poop on the toilet paper. You have to look in the toilet bowl to be sure you did it!

[BlackHelicopters]

Reverse cowgirl fixes all.

[Mr. Laz]

aren't all women pretty much like that?

[CrazyPhuD]

Anal sex fixes all.

yes but is the wife pitching or catching?

[TimeForWasp]

I hope the nosy wife doesn't see this post and call the killer ninja wife in.

[T-post Tom]

this is why my relationships don't last too long. I don't deal with bullshit and games.

Yeppers...just keep telling yourself that. ...