I can't stop farting and can't go poop.

[Buck]

What should I do? Please help me. I've got a girl laying asleep next to me that I want to lay some pipe to when she wakes up, but the room is going to smell like fart city when she awakens.

How do I stop farting?

[J Diddy]

beano

[confused]

I used to Chris Benoit (a fart that is silent but deadly) around my ex all the time. Embarrassed, when she asked me if that smell was flatulence, I instead blamed it on my lack of testicle hygiene (I didn't fart babe, it's my balls!) Turns out she was a lesbian.

[Mr_Tomahawk]

http://img.diytrade.com/cdimg/233709/22862729/0/1313052018/Manual_Coffee_Enema_Positive_pressure_enema_device_for_coffee_enema.jpg

[Buck]

I used to Chris Benoit (a fart that is silent but deadly) around my ex all the time. Embarrassed, when she asked me if that smell was flatulence, I instead blamed it on my lack of testicle hygiene (I didn't fart babe, it's my balls!) Turns out she was a lesbian.


I usually never fart because of my self imposed dietary restrictions, but yesterday I ate 2 medium pizzas and a burrito and now I can't stop and for some reason there's no pooping happening either.

[confused]

I usually never fart because of my self imposed dietary restrictions, but yesterday I ate 2 medium pizzas and a burrito and now I can't stop and for some reason there's no pooping happening either.
I go to Buffalo Wild Wings every Thursday for boneless wings, usually leading to about 26 parmesan and garlic wings. Needless to say, my car driving home smells like John Wayne Gacy's basement.

[bdj23]

http://img.diytrade.com/cdimg/233709/22862729/0/1313052018/Manual_Coffee_Enema_Positive_pressure_enema_device_for_coffee_enema.jpg

Hawt

[GloryDayz]

http://img.diytrade.com/cdimg/233709/22862729/0/1313052018/Manual_Coffee_Enema_Positive_pressure_enema_device_for_coffee_enema.jpg

Wait, they hijacked the international sign/signal for yummy!!!

Those bastards!

[bevischief]

Go walk in a circle in the front yard. Works for the dog.

[J Diddy]

<object width="560" height="315"><param name="movie" value="//www.youtube.com/v/JN-BG3dD0t8?version=3&amp;hl=en_US&amp;rel=0"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="//www.youtube.com/v/JN-BG3dD0t8?version=3&amp;hl=en_US&amp;rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="560" height="315" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object>

[Al Bundy]

<object width="560" height="315"><param name="movie" value="//www.youtube.com/v/JN-BG3dD0t8?version=3&amp;hl=en_US&amp;rel=0"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="//www.youtube.com/v/JN-BG3dD0t8?version=3&amp;hl=en_US&amp;rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="560" height="315" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object>

Yeah, have her put a strap on, on and let her lay some pipe for a while.

[Bowser]

It's not like you won't get all fat and smelly if you end up marrying her. Be honest and give her a taste of what's she's in for.

[J Diddy]

It's not like you won't get all fat and smelly if you end up marrying her. Be honest and give her a taste of what's she's in for.

LMAO

Nothing says a lifer than giving her a dutch oven right off the bat.

[gblowfish]

I go to Buffalo Wild Wings every Thursday for boneless wings, usually leading to about 26 parmesan and garlic wings. Needless to say, my car driving home smells like John Wayne Gacy's basement.

Exactly how do you know it smells like John Wayne Gacy's basement?

[GloryDayz]

Go walk in a circle in the front yard. Works for the dog.

This way?

http://nikki-brown.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/corbis_rf_photo_of_dog_chasing_tail-1.jpg

[cabletech94]

hall of fame worthy.

just sayin'.

[gblowfish]

hall of fame worthy.

just sayin'.

Not so. He didn't tag it as a poop thread. FAIL!

[Red Dawg]

http://img.diytrade.com/cdimg/233709/22862729/0/1313052018/Manual_Coffee_Enema_Positive_pressure_enema_device_for_coffee_enema.jpg

There yo have it. The cure all.ROFLROFLROFL

[GloryDayz]

There yo have it. The cure all.ROFLROFLROFL

I'm not sure how having her do that is going to help him, but hey medicine isn't always easy to understand.

[bevischief]

buttplug

[Fairplay]

http://img.diytrade.com/cdimg/233709/22862729/0/1313052018/Manual_Coffee_Enema_Positive_pressure_enema_device_for_coffee_enema.jpg


Mr douchebag why did you change your name from mr tomahawk?

[OrtonsPiercedTaint]

Time to bust out the Skunk Ape outfit and roll with it

[Rudy tossed tigger's salad]

That's disgusting dude. You are a terrible host.

[TLO]

We need an update Buck.

[LoneWolf]

We need an update Buck.

He is dead from the fumes. RIP Buck.

[J Diddy]

That's disgusting dude. You are a terrible host.

You have never had gas? That may explain a lot of things.

[J Diddy]

He is dead from the fumes. RIP Buck.

Irony: RIP in a fart thread

[Kman34]

What should I do? Please help me. I've got a girl laying asleep next to me that I want to lay some pipe to when she wakes up, but the room is going to smell like fart city when she awakens.

How do I stop farting?

Blame it on the dog....If you have one

[ping2000]

Bottle it and send some to Emmanuel Sanders, his agent and Elway.

[Whosurdaddy]

I'm sure you'll finger it out.

[Mr_Tomahawk]

Mr douchebag why did you change your name from mr tomahawk?

I didn't.

Mod abuse.

[Sorter]

Bottle it and send some to Emmanuel Sanders, his agent and Elway.

This.

[hometeam]

beano

This.

[BlackHelicopters]

How did laying the pipe go?

[LoneWolf]

I didn't.

Mod hilarity.

FYP

[gblowfish]

And yet "Fred Phelps Near Death" is a poop thread!

[scho63]

6 cups of super strong Colombian roast should unclog those pipes

[Hammock Parties]

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_ZX04iYKT7y8/TTD17JDtUCI/AAAAAAAAAd0/Aks0zPGO7dA/s1600/WetSuitFart.jpg

[scho63]

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_ZX04iYKT7y8/TTD17JDtUCI/AAAAAAAAAd0/Aks0zPGO7dA/s1600/WetSuitFart.jpg

ROFLROFLROFLROFLROFL

[GloryDayz]

Blame it on the dog....If you have one

Wait, I was supposed to have a dog all those years. I'm going to write-down that rule.

[GloryDayz]

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_ZX04iYKT7y8/TTD17JDtUCI/AAAAAAAAAd0/Aks0zPGO7dA/s1600/WetSuitFart.jpg

Racist port.. Reported...

ROFLROFLROFL

[Coochie liquor]

Duct tape bro... Duct tape!!

[OrtonsPiercedTaint]

Lookls like a Teletubbie mated with a Jackoffosauras

[Fire Me Boy!]

Not so. He didn't tag it as a poop thread. FAIL!

God hates tags.

[GloryDayz]

God hates tags.

I was going to reply with a pic of some skin tags. I just can't... not after the chiefs Cheerleader thread...

[Fire Me Boy!]

I was going to reply with a pic of some skin tags. I just can't... not after the chiefs Cheerleader thread...

Thank you...

[Simply Red]

You need a good shittin'

Do anything to make that happen - pm me if you need advice!

[Fairplay]

I didn't.

Mod abuse.


Let me guess Phobia

[gblowfish]

Can't wait to introduce her to the family?

[LoneWolf]

Can't wait to introduce her to the family?

:clap:ROFLROFLROFL:clap:

[Hammock Parties]

here i sit
all broken hearted
came to shit
and only farted

[Buck]

I pooped guys. Twice.

[LoneWolf]

I pooped guys. Twice.

Did it hurt pushing two guys out of your ass?

[Simply Red]

I pooped guys. Twice.



http://i57.tinypic.com/2dme98o.gif

[GloryDayz]

I pooped guys. Twice.

O no you di-int!!!

[Fairplay]

Can't wait to introduce her to the family?

ROFL

Where did you find that pic, heh

[BlackHelicopters]

I pooped guys. Twice.

Thanks for the update. What about laying pipe?

[J Diddy]

Did it hurt pushing two guys out of your ass?

and to hear women talk about child birth they think they have it bad

[J Diddy]

Thanks for the update. What about laying pipe?
Yes she did while he was in the toilet dropping deuces.

Twice.

[Bowser]

Thanks for the update. What about laying pipe?

She staggered out drunkenly after smelling what his methane producer was cooking up after 2 pizzas and drinks before he could get to drillin'. She survived.

[J Diddy]

She staggered out drunkenly after smelling what his methane producer was cooking up after 2 pizzas and drinks before he could get to drillin'. She survived.
On CP we only care about her if she comes with pics.

[Bowser]

Pics of Buck taking a dump did not make her cum. I'm guessing.

[J Diddy]

Pics of Buck taking a dump did not make her cum. I'm guessing.

LMAO

I see what you did there.

[bevischief]

I pooped guys. Twice.

Anal?

[Mr_Tomahawk]

Let me guess Phobia

Nope.

Try again...

[SDChiefs]

How much did you drink? Take a laxative and gas relief pill.