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Old 03-16-2014, 07:44 AM  
Buck Buck is offline
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I can't stop farting and can't go poop.
What should I do? Please help me. I've got a girl laying asleep next to me that I want to lay some pipe to when she wakes up, but the room is going to smell like fart city when she awakens.

How do I stop farting?
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Old 03-16-2014, 07:45 AM   #2
J Diddy J Diddy is offline
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Old 03-16-2014, 07:46 AM   #3
confused confused is offline
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I used to Chris Benoit (a fart that is silent but deadly) around my ex all the time. Embarrassed, when she asked me if that smell was flatulence, I instead blamed it on my lack of testicle hygiene (I didn't fart babe, it's my balls!) Turns out she was a lesbian.
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confused < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.confused < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.confused < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.confused < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.confused < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.confused < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.confused < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.confused < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.confused < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.confused < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.confused < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.
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Old 03-16-2014, 07:46 AM   #4
Mr_Tomahawk Mr_Tomahawk is offline
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Old 03-16-2014, 07:48 AM   #5
Buck Buck is offline
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Originally Posted by confused View Post
I used to Chris Benoit (a fart that is silent but deadly) around my ex all the time. Embarrassed, when she asked me if that smell was flatulence, I instead blamed it on my lack of testicle hygiene (I didn't fart babe, it's my balls!) Turns out she was a lesbian.

I usually never fart because of my self imposed dietary restrictions, but yesterday I ate 2 medium pizzas and a burrito and now I can't stop and for some reason there's no pooping happening either.
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Buck is obviously part of the inner Circle.Buck is obviously part of the inner Circle.Buck is obviously part of the inner Circle.Buck is obviously part of the inner Circle.Buck is obviously part of the inner Circle.Buck is obviously part of the inner Circle.Buck is obviously part of the inner Circle.Buck is obviously part of the inner Circle.Buck is obviously part of the inner Circle.Buck is obviously part of the inner Circle.Buck is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 03-16-2014, 07:51 AM   #6
confused confused is offline
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I usually never fart because of my self imposed dietary restrictions, but yesterday I ate 2 medium pizzas and a burrito and now I can't stop and for some reason there's no pooping happening either.
I go to Buffalo Wild Wings every Thursday for boneless wings, usually leading to about 26 parmesan and garlic wings. Needless to say, my car driving home smells like John Wayne Gacy's basement.
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confused < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.confused < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.confused < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.confused < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.confused < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.confused < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.confused < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.confused < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.confused < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.confused < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.confused < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.
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Old 03-16-2014, 07:51 AM   #7
bdj23 bdj23 is offline
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Old 03-16-2014, 07:57 AM   #8
GloryDayz GloryDayz is online now
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Wait, they hijacked the international sign/signal for yummy!!!

Those bastards!
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Old 03-16-2014, 08:01 AM   #9
bevischief bevischief is offline
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Old 03-16-2014, 08:02 AM   #10
J Diddy J Diddy is offline
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Old 03-16-2014, 08:19 AM   #11
Al Bundy Al Bundy is offline
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Yeah, have her put a strap on, on and let her lay some pipe for a while.
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Old 03-16-2014, 08:21 AM   #12
Bowser Bowser is offline
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It's not like you won't get all fat and smelly if you end up marrying her. Be honest and give her a taste of what's she's in for.
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Old 03-16-2014, 08:23 AM   #13
J Diddy J Diddy is offline
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It's not like you won't get all fat and smelly if you end up marrying her. Be honest and give her a taste of what's she's in for.


Nothing says a lifer than giving her a dutch oven right off the bat.
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Old 03-16-2014, 08:26 AM   #14
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I go to Buffalo Wild Wings every Thursday for boneless wings, usually leading to about 26 parmesan and garlic wings. Needless to say, my car driving home smells like John Wayne Gacy's basement.
Exactly how do you know it smells like John Wayne Gacy's basement?
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Old 03-16-2014, 08:28 AM   #15
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Go walk in a circle in the front yard. Works for the dog.
This way?
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