Interesting. Booze doesn't help?

Viagra is your friend.

you know how I know you're gay?

Just remember, 1 flaming orgasm and you own her for life

Yeah sometimes it does. With the staying hard anyway, not with getting off.

Maybe you should link her to my Pooetry and tell her to call me.

This is called the "Venus Butterfly", but not my variation of it...if she doesn't think you love her after this, she's probably got a disorder of some kind.

1.Kiss and caress your lover passionately to get her juices flowing.
2.Give her oral sex slowly teasing her Yoni/Vagina with your tongue.
3.Gently pull back her clitoral hood.
4.Stimulate it with your tongue until she reaches a level 8 on a pleasure scale of 0 to 10 with 10 being orgasm.
5.Move away from the clitoris and stimulate the entire outside of her Yoni in circular motions.
6.Return to clitoris stimulation as above until she reaches a 9 on her pleasure scale.
7.Ask her if she is ready for you to enter her Yoni to find and stimulate her G-spot.
8.Continue to stimulate her clitoris with your tongue, while tapping her G-spot with your finger(s) simultaneously.
9.If all goes well, she will have a mind-blowing, body-melting internal and external orgasm resulting in multiple orgasms.
10.Ask her for verbal feedback as you cup one of your hands over her Yoni gently to hold the sexual energy within.

That's great advice and all, but I read on ChiefsPlanet that she won't love you until her ass has been violated and stretched out in an unholy fashion.

It's a true story. All that other shit is just way too complicated....****ing pulling back the clitoral hood? What? That shit's there for a reason...DON"T TOUCH IT.

It's not the pulling back that gets them. It's the clamping it in place with a clothespin that seems to bring the most discomfort. No tthat I would ever do such a thing, of course. This is so I'm told.

Well, you were told right.

On second thought, don't use the "Venus Butterfly" on her...save it for a woman you actually want to be with.

Slayer giving sex advice.

It really is the end of time.

I prefer "Smoke on the Water," but sometimes for variety I'll perform Debussy's "Nocturnes."

Yeah, I think that part was just in the instructions for the sake of knowing where to find the spot. And, BTW, it's not there so nobody ever touches it, it's to hide it so the guy has to explore with patience instead of ****ing. Hell, hit the right nerve, and it's just as good as the G-spot, but without having to penetrate....