Thou shalt have many media outlets to portray images, but none shall ever be more fair than thy sexpot known as Carrie Underwood.

WTF?

Thou Shalt Pull One Out Of Thy Ass In The Second Round.

Thou shalt have a offensive line that falls apart and a loyal fanbase that shall scorn your image and strike your heels if you havent won a Super Bowl within 3 years....

Thou shalt draft a player from UCLA every year. During the Year of Jubilee, thou shalt draft two players from UCLA.

For Herm so loved the run, that he gave his one and only QB, and whosoever dinks and dunks shall not perish, but have eternal mediocracy.

L O L

hahaha rep ROFL

Thou salt be lead to the promised land by a Dark Soilder draped in red bearing a burning 27 across thy back!

Thou shalt not runneth thine score up in thy present game, for that which may cause a loss in thy future matchup.

And behold, the great media standeth at the door like unto a plague, and knocketh: and if any man heareth their voice, and openeth the door, they will come in to us, and will sup with us, and us with them, and questions shalt they ask of us.

And after this the media looked, and, behold, a door was opened unto the locker room: and the first voice which they did heareth as it were of a trumpet or as a man of great speech and little wisdom; which sayeth, Come up hither, and write down those things which I sayeth.

And immediately was Herm in the spirit: and, behold, a microphone was set before him, and one microphone did he approacheth. And Herm that sat before the microphone was to look upon like a shark and a terrible sardine: and there was a great tribulation round about the microphone, in sight like unto the most murderous fishes of the sea. And out of the microphone proceeded lightnings and thunderings and voices: and there were seven reasons of fire and the seven reasons why the offense could not scoreth, which are the seven great excuses. And the first excuse was like unto a dropped pass, and the second like unto a bad call, and the third excuse had a face as of a kicker, and the fourth was like unto a stacked defensive line.

FAX

Lamar 25:17. The path of the righteous fan is beset on all sides by the inequities of the Broncos and the tyranny of evil Raiders. Blessed is he who, in the name of Red and Gold, shepherds the weak through the valley of Arrowhead. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost endzones. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Herm when I lay my vengeance upon you

Another Homerun!

ROFL

Yea though I walk through the tunnels at Arrowhead, I will fear no evil: for Thou art with me; Thy running game and Thy defense they comfort me.

Thou preparest a grid iron before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my playbook with runs up the middle; my cup runneth over into the center's buttocks.

In the Beginning, there was Adam, the first quarterback. Adam cavorted on the green field alone, running and cutting and throwing and God saw that it was good. But God knew that Adam was lonely and needed a companion. Thus, God caused Adam to slam his head into the field and rendered him unconscious. While he was knocked out, God took from Adam all his common sense, and shaped it into a new form. This new creature God named "head cheerleader". Eve danced and pranced on the field, admiring all of Adam's exploits while waving her pom-poms. Adam was no longer lonely, and now ran up and down the Field with abaondon. God saw all that he had made and saw that it was Good.

God was not yet finished. To give Adam's running and jumping direction and purpose, he created "Touchdown" and "Field Goal". In the days of their innocence, Adam and his friends ran and played on the field, Eve and her friends cheered, while the stands filled with Students who then became known as Fans. Shouts of joy filled the air and God knew that what he had created was Good.

One dark night after a Game, Eve wandered across the Field and Lo! a serpent spoke to her from the grass. "Why is it that you play the great game of football and only God above can witness your feats? Would it not be better to share the spectacle with the rest of the world through the medium of Television?" The serpent then presented a contract to Eve and said unto her, "Have the quarterback Adam sign this document, and the masses shall worship you on Sundays."