Rules for surviving as a visiting fan in Oakland.

1. Remember: east stands = Crips, west stands = bloods.

2. If threatened, yell loudly, "I'm on the State Parole Board!"

3. Don't mention Quentin Moses.

4. Remember that the skulls and bones and stuff on their costumes are just fakes that their mothers got from Hobby Lobby in the half-price post-Halloween sale.

5. Don't rub in the Chiefs win too badly.

6. If surrounded by threatening Raiders fans, compliment Jamarcus Russell's play.

7. Try to run to a place outside the acceptable radius of their ankle monitors.

8. Try to blend in by using poor grammar and letting your mouth hang open when not talking.

9. Leave any food stamps in your hotel room. No reason to tempt them.

10. If a bunch of thugs come toward you, do like that guy did in Platoon and hide beneath Al Davis' lifeless body until they pass by.

Went there once. Will never go again.

You are smart - don't wear your Chiefs gear unless you want a beer shower or a free pass to the restroom if you have to take a pee. Wear neutral clothing. They will know that you are a Chiefs fan, but they will leave you alone for being subtle. Don't get carried away if the Chiefs are doing well. In fact, remain damned quiet.

Raider fans even feed on their young. The day we were there, we saw six people led out of our section in handcuffs. Six separate incidents in one section of pretty expensive seats.

It's an experience every Chiefs fan should have. Great contrast to the classy way fans of opposing teams are treated at Arrowhead.

Be careful, my friend. And Al Davis wonders why he can't fill the stadium? Who would want to take a wife and kids to that kind of environment?

It's sad.

I did the same thing at that same game with Big Daddy. Gannon started and I kept calling for Tuey. They put Tuey in the 2nd half and his first pass was incomplete. I yelled, "Put Gannon back in."

I was not very popular in that section. BD hit me in the face by mistake while giving another guy a high 5 when the Raiders scored. The whole section cheered. I was annoying "Bad Raider Fan."

BD posted about the performnace but I haven't been able to find the post after several searches.

On the final drive when the Raiders were trying to come back I started the "Ray - durs" chant. After a minute I had the whole section doing it. Keep it mind they were at home, on offense and trying to make the game winning score. Smart fans.

I have been going to the Chiefs games at Oak since '95. The first year I wore Chief's gear and got ribbed but little more. Since I have worn neutral colors so that I could drink and enjoy the game hassle free.

There are sections that you should avoid in red. I have also seen peeing on the floor, defecating in trash cans, pot smoking in the stands and bathrooms like I have never seen at Arrowhead.

If you want to be the center of attention than wear red. If you want to just cruise over on bart, drink beer, watch the chiefs and then go home hassle free don't.

I did have one incident with a Raider fan but it wasn't a big deal. It was the '02 game when we got spanked.

It was raining all day and I had an poncho on. At the end of the game, after cheering for the Chiefs vs. the guy in front of me cheering for the Raiders.

I was at the game with my dad and his 2 clients. I offered the guy in front of me a sportman handshake with the comment, "Congrats. You guys kicked our ass." As we left.

The dumb*** through his beer on my rainsoaked poncho and said , "F U." I just turned and left as my loud cheering all day probably already scared my dad and his clients.

This was in the 4th 1/4 when they don't sell beer anymore and charge $8 a beer. He wasted a beer on a rainsoaked, waterproof poncho. Not very smart.